Into the Depths
by LadyAshling
Summary: Varric and Hawke venture into the Deep Roads to make their fortune, but will circumstances bring them closer together or tear them apart? Language, eventual lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Bioware created the characters. I'm just feeding my need for Varric/Hawke sexy times. I regret nothing.

* * *

"Hawke! Duck!" Immediately, the rogue ducked and rolled to the right, towards the voice that had warned her of danger and hopped up in time to see a heavy bolt rip through the would-be assassin. The figure crumpled to the ground, dead before his body landed, and took in the carnage around her.

"Well, that's the last of them," she grinned and turned to her companions. Fenris was already looting the bodies and Anders was passing cursory healing checks over them to see if any of them needed aid. Varric gave her a cocky grin as he wiped his crossbow clean.

"Saved your ass again, Hawke. You owe me a round tonight."

Her rich laugh echoed among the cliffs on the coast. "That I do, my friend. Let's head there, what do you say? I always get thirsty after a good fight." As they made their way back to the city she was making mental preparations for their Deep Roads expedition. She was pretty sure that she was going to be taking her current companions, even though the mage-templar arguments between Fenris and Anders aggravated her, she needed a warrior and a healer. This was her big break and she didn't want to screw it up by having the wrong people with her, miles beneath the surface, in case things got messy.

Hawke knew her mother would be pleased to find that Bethany would not be venturing into the depths of Thedas with her and she was sure she could convince her sister that it was for the best. Of course, leaving them behind meant she wouldn't know how they were faring and that was just as frightening as taking her little sister into Darkspawn territory. She made a mental note to talk to Varric about having his contacts keep an eye on her sister while they were gone.

Once they entered the city, Anders and Fenris declined the offer to stay and drink. Hawke understood, but it made her wonder yet again if taking the two of them underground was going to be to her advantage or her doom. Varric invited his partner to his suite instead of sitting among the rabble of the pub and she readily agreed.

They shucked their weapons and gauntlets, preparing to settle in for an evening of easy friendship. Hawke fell into one of the short chairs and propped her feet onto the one beside her. Varric smiled to see his partner so relaxed around him. He was tired of the posturing from the Merchant's Guild and the strictures they clung to. It was more rewarding to have a good friend lounging on his heirloom furniture than calling him "my lord."

"Varric," her quiet voice broke the silence, "I was thinking that we should take Fenris and Anders with us on the expedition." She gave a short bark of laughter at his uncertain expression. "I know, they bicker every time they see each other, but we need a healer and Anders was the one with the maps. And if we don't have a warrior to back us up we won't stand a chance. Aveline is out of the question with her new responsibilities so he's really our only option."

He hummed into his ale. "You're right. I was thinking the same thing, but I was hoping we would run into another warrior or apostate mage without a serious rap sheet."

Hawke gave him her most brilliant smile, the one that made her blue eyes sparkle with an inner light, and replied. "Unfortunately, we attract crazy people like flies to honey. I only hope that the expression 'opposites attract' is accurate."

The dwarf laughed. "Well, that means I'm the only sane one in the group since I approached you first and then the rest of the crazies followed." She laughed good naturedly.

"To success in the depths."

"May we both find what we are looking for."

Their mugs clanged together in salute.

* * *

One month later they were underground listening to Bartrand yell at his stewards about the path being blocked. Hawke rubbed her hand over her eyes in frustration. How could the brothers be so completely different? Varric was reasonable, understanding, and obviously the only one with any sense. Bartrand was more the punch first, ask questions later type with a massive chip on his broad shoulders.

Behind her Fenris was glaring at nothing and Anders was grumbling under his breath about the blighted Deep Roads and hate the Wardens. This was going to be a long trip and if she didn't kill anyone in her immediate party while she was down here it would be a miracle. Varric came to the rescue again and convinced Bartrand to stay behind while they found a way around the cave in, even promising to find Sandal along the way.

"Let's go kill some Darkspawn then," Hawke said brightly. Varric chuckled beside her.

"Right behind you, Hawke." They made short work of the spawn in the first tunnels, but when they veered into a depression on the right they realized it was a spider's nest and it wasn't easy to take them down. Anders quickly patched everyone up and they continued through the tunnels, clearing out the small groups they ran into.

"How does it feel to be underground, Varric," asked Hawke. The dwarf glared up at his partner, but his expression softened to see her teasing smirk.

"Just great. I'm thinking of relocating actually. Who needs the sun or fresh air?" She gave a low chuckle that gave Varric an unusual fluttering in his stomach.

"Awww, but what would I do without my trusty dwarf? I'd be lost without you." He could hear the teasing way the rogue had said it, but he caught something swirling in her piercing eyes that made him unsure how much of what she had said was a joke.

"I could never leave you, Hawke. Who else would save your ass on a daily basis and who would help me edit my stories when everyone else is three sheets to the wind? No, my friend, you can't get rid of me." He gave her a genuine smile instead of his trademark smirk and was pleased to see her brilliant smile and slight flush on her cheeks.

They came around the corner and saw Sandal surrounded by dead Darkspawn and a frozen ogre. "Well, I'll be – isn't that Bodahn's boy?" He passed a special rune to Hawke and gave an enigmatic response when she asked him how he had managed to freeze the beast.

"Not enchantment," he said with a smile as he walked back the way they had come.

After taking out a larger group of spawn and an orge while trying to disarm some nasty traps, they passed through another long corridor. Hawke held up her hand and the team proceeded with caution towards a large antechamber. There was no telling what would be waiting for them there. Anders shook his head when she shot him a glance which meant there weren't any Darkspawn, but it had them at a disadvantage to be walking in blind.

As Fenris stuck his head carefully around the corner a blood-chilling roar sounded above their heads and a large dragon landed in front of them. Immediately, the group took up their usual fighting positions – Varric and Anders long-range support, Fenris front and center hacking at everything he could reach, and Hawke ghosting in for the best critical hits. When the dragonlings began to descend on the team members, Hawke called out for Varric and he answered with a shower of bolts to pin most of the weaker dragonkin to the ground.

Fenris' voice rang throughout the stone chamber, "I am about to fall!" Anders healed his wounds and the elf gulped down a stamina draught to continue his onslaught. After Hawke removed her twin daggers from the back of an unfortunate dragonling, she saw the weak spot she had been searching for. With a quick run to give her momentum, she leapt off the ground and curled her body in the air, daggers flashing fiercely in the dimly lit room and with a cry she closed the distance to her target and thrust her blades to the hilt under the dragon's ribs. A direct hit into its exhausted heart. It gave a weak roar as it collapsed and fell to the ground, shaking centuries of dust from the ceiling of the antechamber like golden snow.

No matter how many times he watched her do that, it never ceased to take Varric's breath away. She was so lithe, yet powerful on the battlefield, and her moves made her look like some kind of barbarian warrior goddess. He watched as the fine dust settled into her auburn hair, blood coating her armor and splotched across her face, blue eyes shining with victory, and he felt the fluttering again.

"What do you say, Varric? Was that enough of a tale for The Hanged Man?" She laughed richly as she wiped some of the blood from her face, only smudging a thick line across her nose, adding to her warrior-like persona.

"Oh yeah, Hawke. That's one for the books and I don't even need to embellish it…much." He winked at her playfully. They found the dragon's hoard and took all the things they could use or sell to Bodahn and made their way back to Bartrand.

When they reappeared in the camp, the hired hands gasped to see the four of them covered in dust, blood, and who knew what else, but Bartrand was in a hurry so they packed up camp and lead the way through the cleaned out tunnels. When they reached a small crumbling settlement long abandoned by the dwarves, they discovered there was a natural water source and Hawke forced Bartrand to stop so everyone could rest and clean up.

Hawke set up her tent and located a bucket so she could use some of the precious water to wash off the grime and blood of battle. By the time she returned to her tent she found Bodahn instructing some of the hirelings to place a small tub inside. "Bodahn, what are you doing?"

"Ah, Miss Hawke! We found this small tub in one of the buildings and thought you might like to have a proper soak, yes?" He gave her a satisfied smile as one of the men took her bucket and dumped it into the tub and then three others followed with full buckets.

"I don't want anyone thinking I'm asking for special treatment, Bodahn." She wrung her hands nervously. "I know Bartrand doesn't like me and I don't need to make an enemy out of him." The hirelings returned with more water until it was almost full and then Sandal entered with a heated stone stretched out from his body in a pair of tongs. He added the scalding stone to the water and gave her a small smile on the way out. Bodahn gave a short bow and turned to leave. "Thank you, Bodahn for your thoughtfulness. It really is a wonderful gesture."

He paused with a look of surprise on his care worn face. "It wasn't my idea, Miss Hawke. It was Master Varric's. He was quite adamant when he discovered the tub that it would go to you." Nodding his head, he exited her tent and left a very confused Hawke in his wake. She poked her head out of her tent and saw Varric having a very quiet, but obviously heated discussion with his brother and she ducked back inside before she could be seen spying.

With trembling fingers she removed her leathers and smalls and stepped gingerly into the hot water. It was heavenly when she was sitting completely enveloped in the heat and began to wash off the dirt and caked blood from her skin. With a muffled curse she realized her soap was still in her pack, which she had dropped outside the tent flap when she was setting it up, and she knew she'd never get all the knots out of her hair without it.

"Um, hello?" Hawke flushed deeply at the predicament she was in. She was the only woman in a troupe of men and she didn't want them to think of her as beneath them because of that, or that she was expecting them to wait on her hand and foot. "Could someone toss me my pack or kick it? I left my soap in it." No response. Urgh, she'd just have to go without it and make do with hot water to work out her tangles.

Suddenly, a recognizable brown glove entered her tent, pack dangling from stocky fingers and he gave it a gentle toss to land within reach of her hand. She gave a grateful sigh and smiled broadly. "Thank you," she whispered. It was so quiet she was sure he hadn't heard her.

"Anytime, Hawke, anytime," he whispered through the canvas.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave reviews! I want to make sure that you guys like where this is going if you want me to finish it!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. BioWare is king of DA II. *frolics through Thedas*

* * *

The next day, or night, or whatever it was called underground, Bartrand was in a foul mood and he set a hard pace trying to reach his destination. He was very obviously ignoring their partner, which Varric knew she was used to, but there was a new coldness about his brother and it didn't sit well with him.

He knew his brother was mad at him for "coddling the human," but he had reminded his brother that if it weren't for that human they wouldn't be down here searching for the find of a lifetime. The way Bartrand had stared him down the night before had him wondering if maybe his brother wasn't so oblivious after all.

Varric was the one who finally called the expedition to a halt so they could eat and rest. Bartrand looked like he was going to have an aneurism. Varric grabbed him roughly by the elbow and pulled him away from prying ears. "Brother, if we do not allow the men to rest and eat they won't be much good to us when we need them to carry the treasure back to Kirkwall, will they? Or do you want them so exhausted that no one can lift a sword if we run into trouble?"

Bartrand glared at his nearly beardless brother with intense loathing. He never understood how this surface brat had ended up being his mother's favorite. He didn't understand anything about being a true dwarf or care for his status. Who was he to boss him, the eldest brother, around? "Fine, Varric, but they don't get to sit on their asses for long. Don't forget who is in charge of this expedition." He spun on his heel and left his brother fuming behind him.

Hawke had been surreptitiously watching the brothers from her spot on the ground. She watched Varric work his jaw back and forth while clenching and unclenching his fists. It was obvious to everyone on this treasure hunt that things had soured even further between them in the dark tunnels of the Deep Roads. Silently leaving her spot in the shadows, she materialized beside Varric and leaned casually against a boulder.

"Want to talk about it?" He shot her a glance with his whiskey colored eyes and gave a curt shake of his head. "Okay," she said keeping her tone light, "but if you change your mind let me know."

With a bone weary sigh, he ran one of his large hands across his face. "Watch your back, Hawke, I know my brother and he's going to be trouble." She gnawed on her lip worriedly at his words. She had been hoping that she had been reading the signs wrong, but that would be too lucky for her.

Trying to regain his jovial attitude he gave her a quick smile. "Come on, let's find something to eat in these blighted tunnels before everyone starves." Hawke gave him a tired chuckle and followed her friend into one of the side caverns. A few minutes later they returned victorious with a bunch of deepstalkers riddled with bolts and gashes. The hunting seemed to have brightened their moods, as well, which quickly overflowed into all of those in the expedition as Bodahn set to work setting up some spits to roast the game. No one noticed the icy glare that was directed at Varric during the lunch break.

Hours later everyone gratefully collapsed at the sight of an ancient thaig, thick lyrium veins actually incorporated into the architecture, casting haunting red and blue light into the darkness. "Holy shit," Varric whispered.

"Is this what you were expecting," Hawke asked Bartrand.

"I thought, an abandoned thaig…"

"How did you know it was here?"

"Old scavenger tales. One week under the surface, they said, but I never expected…this."

Hawke wandered off slightly to let the brother's talk about how rich they were going to be. She noticed that Bodahn had set up his wares and decided to restock her potions and sell some of her heavier junk.

"Miss Hawke, I never thanked you properly for saving Sandal. If there is any way I can repay you…"

"No need," she said with a smile to the older dwarf. "I'm just glad that Sandal was alright." She turned to face the boy and gave him a wink when his father's back was turned. His face lit up in response. As she was shopping she decided on a whim to stock up on some vellum in case she wanted to document their travels while they were down here. It would be easier to tell her family what had happened if it was already written down. After doing her business with Bodahn she walked over to a small entryway and leaned against the stone.

Being down in the depths with Varric was much different than being with him on the surface. They were the same people, no matter where they were, but being surrounded by stone and earth spending most of their time in the dark, felt more intimate. If she was being completely honest with herself she had always felt a spark of something with Varric. His self-assured attitude the day he had approached her in the Merchant's Guild had intrigued her and as she had spent more time with the sarcastic, intelligent man the more her feelings had grown.

They had been partners in crime, on multiple levels, in Kirkwall for almost a year before this expedition had been ready to go and now they had spent almost two weeks together underground. Closely confined and no way for her to escape whenever being around him started to be too much like she could in the city. Initially, she had been sure that he didn't see her the way she saw him, especially when he said she was too tall for him or that Bianca was his only love, but things were changing between them. A faint smile tugged at her face when she thought of him arranging for her bath and then tossing her pack into her tent.

It was more than that though. She thought to all the times during their skirmishes when a well-placed bolt would suddenly appear and save her hide at the last second. How he seemed to always read her mind when she called for backup and gave exactly what she needed. There was the time that a mercenary had knocked her out during a surprise attack and she woke up to see Varric shoving Bianca's bayonet into the man's chest with a snarl as the mercenary was raising his ax to remove her head from her shoulders. He was long-range, why would he leave his position unless it really mattered to him?

She shook herself from her reverie sadly as she heard Anders and Fenris bickering close to her. "Hawke! There you are. We wondered where you had run off to." Anders gave her an adoring glance and she had to bite back her groan. She was really not interested in an apostate, especially one who had merged his soul to a Fade spirit, and was working with the mage underground. She'd spent her whole life running from the Templars and she was done with it.

She nodded her head at his concern, but didn't speak. Hawke almost felt bad as she watched the hopefulness in his brown eyes dim to be replaced by sad understanding. He cleared his throat and excused himself leaving Fenris with Hawke.

"You made a good choice," he said. She sighed and nodded.

"I know, but that doesn't mean that I like doing it. I just couldn't have him mooning over me with false hope. I can't do the mage thing like my mother did. I have lived with the ramifications of that decision and though I loved my father, it's not the life I want for me." She ran her hand tiredly through her hair.

Fenris only nodded. That was one of the reasons she liked the elf. He didn't speak unless it was necessary and he was a damn good fighter to have at your back. Pushing away from the wall she said, "Let's find Varric and make sure that Bartrand hasn't killed him yet." Fenris chuckled beside her.

"Don't bother, Hawke." Varric came marching around the bend passing Bodahn's shop with purpose. He looked down the stairs that led past the entryway she'd been leaning against. "Hmmm, do you think we'll find anything?"

"With our luck, more darkspawn or rock. Maybe both." She gave a casual shrug.

"Well, let's find out." After they walked down the stairs they were ambushed by shades and a stone golem. Once everything was dead or had disappeared from whence it came the team continued along the path to an ornate door and entered a large room with an altar on a raised dais. Hawke arched an elegant eyebrow as she crossed the room and carefully climbed the stairs. Varric whistled when they reached the altar.

"Is that…lyrium?"

"Doesn't look like any lyrium I've ever seen."

Anders was next to speak. "It's definitely magic – and not the good kind." Fenris rolled his eyes at the obviousness of the mage's comment. Slowly Hawke stretched out her hand and gingerly removed the artifact from the altar. It was bathed in the same red glow of the lyrium veins throughout the thaig and she swore she could feel it pulsating in her palm, like a heartbeat. She passed it to Varric quickly.

Bartrand had entered the room and Varric tossed it to him. "Look at this! An idol made of pure lyrium, I think!" Bartrand mumbled something to himself and turned to study the idol. The group on the dais was trying to decide where they should go next to search for treasure, when Hawke caught movement in her peripheral vision.

"The door!" She slid down the banister hoping to reach the door more quickly, but she was too late. In a near panic, she banged her fist on the door, hoping that Bartrand or someone was still close by.

"Bartrand, the door shut behind you," Varric yelled through the heavy dwarven barrier. His stomach plummeted to hear his brother chuckle darkly on the other side.

"You always did notice everything, Varric."

"You're joking! You're going to screw over your own brother for a lousy idol?" He was furious, he was wounded, he was terrified. His biggest fear was dying underground and when he looked at Hawke's face he saw his own terror mirrored in her blue eyes.

"It's not just the idol. The location of this thaig alone is worth a fortune, and I'm not splitting that three ways!" Varric could hear his brother begin to walk away. "Sorry, Brother."

"Bartrand! BARTRAND!" He slammed his fist against the door, again and again. "I swear, I will find that son of a bitch – sorry, Mother – and I will kill him!" He sighed, "Let's hope there's a way out of here."

* * *

**A/N:** Thought this was a good stopping point. Put the pitchforks down! And leave reviews, kthnx!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: ***sings off key* BioWare is king and I don't own a thing!

* * *

Hawke swallowed her panic and tried to take reassurance in her competent team. Isn't this why she had taken this group with her, just in case? She barely registered Anders telling them to canvas the walls for a door or a hidden switch. Numbly she wandered over to a wall, sliding her fingers across the perfectly cut stones, trying to find a hinge instead of the natural cracks in the ancient wall.

She felt the gentle sweep of Anders' magic as he tried to feel for a door with his mana and the soft scraping of Fenris' clawed gauntlets as he inspected the walls. Hawke tried to fight down the rising panic that was making a reappearance. She had to keep her head; her team needed her to stay strong in the face of adversity. She thought of her family in Kirkwall and it gave her renewed strength of mind.

Fenris gave a shout of triumph. "Hawke, I found the door, we just need to locate the switch to open it." Anders stopped in front of the faint outline of the barrier and cast a rune on its surface so they would be able to find it again. Varric was running his gloved hands carefully along the wall, searching for the switch to their freedom. It would be close to his height, but he'd never lived underground so he had no idea what to look for. Anders brushed up against the back staircase of the dais and tripped over a loose stone. Suddenly, the door was forced to engage centuries of unused gears to slowly open, squealing loudly against the stone floor in protest.

"You tripped over the lever, Blondie!" Varric gave the mage an enthusiastic pat on the back and twirled around at the strangled sound on the other side of the dais. He took off on his short legs and came to an abrupt halt when he rounded the corner. Hawke was crumbled in a heap, large tears leaving dirty tracks on her face, trying unsuccessfully to swallow her relieved sobs. Varric tenderly wrapped his arms around the younger woman and allowed her to cling to him as she muffled the sounds of her tears in his duster.

He could hear Anders hissing to Fenris, but he only heard the warrior's response. "Leave them, mage. She needs her best friend right now, not you and your pitiful attempts to seduce her." Varric heard the words and his stomach suddenly felt laden with boulders. He would only be Hawke's best friend, always there at her side like an annoying tick, but never able to be anything more to her. Not when she had Blondie who had never hidden his attraction to her and now there was the elf defending her right to have a breakdown. Varric knew he didn't stand a chance with the handsome mage and broody elf to catch her eye. He was a storyteller – he knew that men or sexy elves always got the girl, never the sidekick dwarf.

Hawke began to pull away sheepishly. "Andraste's ass, Varric, I'm sorry. I must seem really pathetic right now. I should be leading us through the door and finding a way out, instead I'm crying into your beloved duster like a girl." She hopped up wiping her face, unable to meet his eyes as she turned and grabbed her pack. When she found a clean piece of fabric she used it to scrub her slightly blotchy face clean, intent on erasing all traces of her moment of weakness.

"I'm sorry, Hawke." She stopped and turned to gape at his whispered apology. "I'm sorry that I dragged you down here on a wild goose chase. I hate being underground as much as you do and I'm…just, so sorry." It was his turn to avoid her eyes as the dwarf focused on remaining his composure. He wanted to tell her that it was okay to break down when things got to be too much, that it warmed his heart that she would choose him to be vulnerable with, that he would always be there for her. He wanted to tell her that he was falling irrevocably, head over heels for her and it scared and thrilled him. Instead, he apologized.

"You couldn't have known that your brother would do this, Varric."

He jerked his head up and Hawke saw the betrayal swimming in his honey colored eyes, the taut line of his jaw as he kept himself from screaming curses at the mention of what his brother had condemned them to. "No, even I didn't think he would do something like this, but I also knew he was becoming more unstable. I should have kept a closer eye on him. Instead I got us trapped in the Deep Roads. I'm so sorry, K-Hawke."

His near slip with her first name did not go unnoticed by the rogue, but she wisely did not comment on it. Putting on a brave smile, she reached out and squeezed his gloved hand. "Don't worry Varric, we have Anders and he is going to come in real handy in helping us get out of here." He nodded and gave her a small smile.

"Lead on, Hawke. I'm right behind you." Grabbing her pack she squared her shoulders and walked around the corner as though nothing had happened and asked her other companions if they were ready to head out. The team filed out of the door with purpose until they came to the end of the corridor where they were faced with a couple of options. Take the left path through the door and see what they could find inside or take the right hand corridor. At the mage's reassurance that there were no darkspawn Hawke decided to check out the room on the left.

As soon as the group pushed the door open on its stiff hinges they were attacked by shades and another stone golem. Once they emptied the room of shades, more appeared and then Hawke heard Anders' surprised cry in the hallway. She glanced at Fenris who seemed to have the shades under control for the moment. "Go, Hawke," he yelled to her over the ringing of his sword. She nodded and sprinted through the doorway to see Anders and Varric nearly swallowed up by shades.

"Bianca, you minx, that was beautiful!" With a laugh, she disappeared in a cloud of smoke to backstab a shade that was attacking Anders. Flipping through the air like an acrobat, she landed beside another one and began to slash it with deadly precision. When the last shade was gone, she leaned against the stone with a small smile to her companions as they all took the moment to rest. They passed up on carrying on any of the junk in the room and headed straight up the path and around the corner into another old chamber where there were more shades.

At the bottom of the room some of the stones that seemed to be lying around haphazardly suddenly rose up and became fierce-some stone warriors that could change shape and lash out with a wicked tail. The elf was caught off guard by one of the tails and was thrown across the room and knocked out. "Fenris!" Now she was pissed – she would never forgive herself if one of her companions died in the Deep Roads because she promised them treasure.

She flitted across the field so quickly it was hard for Varric to track her, slashing and backstabbing her opponents until they all collapsed into a pile of boulders at her feet. "What were those things," asked the dwarf.

Anders was beside Fenris mending the concussion he sustained when he was flung across the room. Varric watched sadly when Hawke ran over to the elf and asked if he was okay. "I'm sorry, Fenris, I wasn't watching your back." The elf gave a deep chuckle.

"You can't watch everyone all the time, Hawke."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "No, but I can damn well try." Fenris took the hand she offered and used it to help him stand. When he swayed slightly on his feet, Hawke took his elbow in her other hand to help steady him, but she saw the wince that crossed his face.

"Make camp here. We've cleared it out for the time being and we all need to rest." Fenris lifted his lips softly in thanks before he slid down the wall in exhaustion. She walked back to Varric who had picked the lock on an old chest in the room. "Find anything worth keeping?"

He shook his head and she sighed. "At least we still have some food in our packs, Hawke. We won't have to use up the rest of our energy tonight."

After putting everyone's food stores together, they worked out a way to ration their food until they found something to add to their supplies. Hawke took the smallest portion, insisting that Fenris have part of her share in addition to his own so he could heal faster. No one liked the idea, but they all agreed that logically it was the smartest thing to do. Without their warrior they weren't going to make it to the surface.

Hawke set up the elf's tent as he leaned wearily against the stone wall. "You don't have to do that, Hawke," he argued weakly.

She scoffed at him. "And you're going to stop me?"

He humphed. "No, I suppose I am unable to at the moment." When the tent was situated Anders arrived to assist Fenris to his bedroll. A couple of minutes later the healer emerged from the tent and sat next to Varric and Hawke.

"He's going to be fine. I healed the rest of the damage that I couldn't get to last time and put him into a dreamless sleep. He will be his usual broody self when he wakes." Hawke took in his tired face with purple bruises blossoming under his eyes.

"I realize I'm in danger of sounding like my mother, but go to bed Anders. You've done a great job tonight and I appreciate your help. We'll go over those maps tomorrow." Her gentle authority was all the encouragement he needed to head to his tent and pass out.

Varric and Hawke sat in silence – utter, complete silence. This wasn't natural to the Deep Roads. Hawke hated to admit that she would rather hear the scuffling of hundreds of spider legs rubbing against the stone or the eerie steps of darkspawn marching through the tunnels. This was unnerving, but she had no words left to fill the silence that threatened to swallow them. Even the group's storyteller was quiet.

"Goodnight, Hawke." Varric's deep voice interrupted the silence. She looked at him as he stood on his short legs, brushing off the dirt from his filthy pants, and her heart lurched. She opened her mouth to invite him to her tent for the night – she didn't think she would be able to sleep alone in such unnatural quiet, especially when she was already hanging by a thread, but her courage vanished and the words died on her tongue.

"Goodnight, Varric." It tore at her heart to see him walk away with his broad shoulders slightly slumped in defeat. Unconsciously, she reached a hand out to him to comfort him, but she pulled it back to her chest before he could catch the motion. It was just her now sitting on the ground with the red lyrium glow washing over the chamber.

Pulling her pack to her she dug inside for a piece of vellum and charcoal stick. As she began to write, her eyes blurred with the tears that she had held at bay during the battles. Her hand began to shake and the words became more illegible as she went on, but she couldn't stop, she had to unload the burden on her heart before it killed her – or one of her team members.

Balling up her gloved fist, she shoved it inside her mouth to help muffle her noises. Shoving the stick and the vellum haphazardly in her pack, she stood up and stumbled to her tent. Varric laid on his bedroll, heart breaking with every one of her strangled sobs, and wished he had the courage to go to her, but he remembered the way she had worried over Fenris and he knew that his chance with the gorgeous rogue was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **All characters and recognizable dialogue belong to BioWare.

* * *

No one was in the mood for idle chatter as they broke down the camp. After Hawke had tumbled out of her tent following the awful night of disquiet, she joined the discussion Varric and Anders were having over the maps.

"Please tell me it's good news," she asked the blond men. Anders gave a frustrated sigh and shook his head angrily.

"I'm sorry, but these are Grey Warden maps and they don't even document half of the side passages that we have canvassed to reach this thaig."

"I see." Her calm reply had caused Varric's hair to stand on end. This was the calm before the storm - much like the story Isabella had told him of a hurricane that had destroyed her ship and nearly left her for dead on some Maker-forsaken beach.

She walked away and began to break down her tent. Fenris had been standing off to the side, but he appeared next to the other men in a couple long strides. "We need to be careful. Hawke isn't doing well down here," he whispered.

Varric felt the hot surge of jealousy, but stamped it out because the elf was right, Hawke was going to crack if they didn't find a way out of these subterranean death traps.

"I heard her crying last night," whispered the mage. Varric rubbed a hand over his tired eyes.

"I don't think any of us except Broody got any real sleep last night." He cast a quick glance at Hawke who had stopped breaking down her tent and was staring at nothing. "Let's just agree to keep an eye on her, but don't make it too obvious. If she finds out she will kill us all." He turned away to finish packing up his own things.

When everyone was ready to go they headed down the corridor. "Bianca's locked and loaded," yelled Varric when they ran into more shades and stone creatures.

"Is anyone else tired of them?" Hawke's attempt at levity had the men chuckling nervously. When they entered another room the fighting began again.

"ENOUGH! You have proven your mettle. I would not see these creatures harmed without need." Hawke turned to see a large stone creature standing before them.

"You're the first one that hasn't simply attacked us," she replied.

"They will not assault you further. Not without my permission."

"What are these things," asked Varric. "They seem like rock wraiths, but-"

The creature interrupted the dwarf. "The profane have lingered in this place for ages beyond memory, feeding on the magic stones until the need is all they know."

"The lyrium? That's what sustains them?"

"I am not as they are. I am…a visitor."

Hawke turned her bright blue eyes to Anders for clarification. "It's a demon come to feed on their hunger."

"I would not see my feast end. I can sense your desire. You seek to leave this place, but you will need my aid to do so."

"Don't do it," said Anders. "Demons will trip you up every time."

"What are our options," asked Varric as he looked at Hawke. Her blue eyes met his whiskey orbs and he could see her internal struggle. Make a deal with a demon to leave this nightmare or do it on their own to avoid risking everyone's soul.

Facing the creature she spoke with confidence. "We're not dealing with a demon."

"Most unwise." Before any of the men had their weapons in their hands, Hawke had assassinated the demon-possessed profane and had disappeared across the field to take down the profane that were shooting lightening their way. Varric was firing bolts into a particularly stubborn abomination when he heard the twinkling of her laughter as she stealthed past him. Her stealth was broken when she flipped through the air and shoved her blades into the abomination, and Varric drank in the sight of her practically dancing in front of him.

They looted another ancient chest and continued down the passage. "Here they come!" Anders' warning gave them all time to dodge the first bolt of lightning and then they were off again. A pile of bones was found leaning against one of the stone walls and Hawke heard Varric whisper something in dwarven to the remains. Her eyes watered to see him gently pick up the health and lyrium potions that surrounded the bones and place them in his pack.

She laid a small hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see the tears pricking her eyes. He gave her a weak smile and quickly patted her hand in reassurance before walking off. When they reached the large antechamber filled with the same eerie red light Hawke paused. "What is this place?"

"This is the vault. The dwarves would have brought their…" They both turned at the sound of stones scraping against each other to see a giant Rock Wraith standing guard over the vault. "Oh, that can't be good," breathed Varric.

She gave a nervous laugh. "You think?" Hawke entered stealth to sneak around the massive stone creature, but it sank into the ground and appeared behind her team. "Andraste's ass!" At that moment, more profane stood up along the edges of the fight and she focused on taking them out before their lightning could do too much damage. The wraith rolled into the center of the room and Hawke screamed, "Take cover now!"

Her heart was pounding in her throat to see Varric running on his short legs and skid to a stop at the pillar next to her just before the entire room was flooded with searing red light. When the light dimmed, she saw the dwarf's wide-eyed expression and was sure it mirrored her own. It sank into the ground again and Hawke saw the opportunity to attack it when it was most vulnerable. She backstabbed and slashed at the stone giant, taking comfort in the sound of Fenris' sword clanging on the monster next to her. Varric and Anders were focused on the outlying profane to give the two of them time to weaken it. It began to stir which sent them back to continue their onslaught at a safer distance until they knew what it was going to do next.

"It's doing it again! Hide!" They all scattered behind the pillars. When the light exploded past her face, she couldn't hold back the small moan of terror and she reached out for a familiar hand. Instead of meeting worn leather gauntlets that fit against her own she found metal spikes and met the elf's surprised green eyes. She quickly released his hand and once the light had faded she barreled around the pillar with a blood-curdling war cry. The wraith was once again weak from its powerful energy blast and she released all her pain and anger on it so she wouldn't be forced to think about how she was screwing everything up.

Losing herself in the rhythm of battle she listened to Anders casting his spells, the _schwing_ of metal against stone, and the steady pulse of Bianca filling mythical creatures with heavy bolts. The creature made one final attempt to stand, but Hawke left the ground and brought her daggers into the wraith with all of her strength and rolled to the side of the cavern. Not making eye contact with anyone she walked toward the back of the vault.

Varric's voice echoed through the room. "The rock wraiths are supposed to be dwarven legends. They're not even supposed to be real!"

"Looked pretty real to me," called Hawke over her shoulder and then she stopped in front of a small room, mouth rounded into a perfect 'o.'

The rest of the team caught up to their leader. Varric gave a low whistle. "I suppose it doesn't matter. Look at what it was guarding!" Gold coins and priceless gems were piled high in the room and three large chests sure to be full of even more riches.

"Let's see if there is something that can help us get out of here." The dwarf could hear the desperation in her voice. He looked at the others' worried expressions and knew they had heard it, too.

Fenris mumbled something to Anders about searching the main chamber for loot, leaving Varric with his business partner. As the dwarf picked open one of the chests he found a key. "A key. The kind that opens doors, I hope."

With a shaking hand Hawke reached out and brushed the key with her fingers. "Varric, we can get out of here!" She laughed bordering on hysterics until they dissolved into tears and she was on the ground, rocking herself back and forth. She reached out blindly and sighed heavily in relief when his strong arms embraced her and his hand ran down her tangled hair.

Varric heard the other two come running when her laughter had turned into anguished sobs. Both of them paused to see Hawke sobbing and gasping into Varric's shirt surrounded by mountains of gold. The dwarf looked at them with a pained expression on his face.

He knew Hawke was not interested in Anders, but his obvious interest in her made Varric want to kick the mage. The relationship between Hawke and Fenris was what worried him. He knew he had no right to call her his or even think of her that way, but his fierce protectiveness of her had become something deeper over time. Varric wasn't even sure when it had happened – it was just there one day and had never left.

But it didn't pass his notice that there was a new confused expression on the elf's face to see Hawke folded into his arms. He gave a mental sigh. He would have to let her go, if it would make her happy.

Varric could feel the tension leaving her small body as she cried the last of her tears. When she was hiccupping slightly, he tried to pull away, but she only clung to him. "No, no, no. Please, not yet…just…hold me." She was trembling like a leaf and even though it tore his heart open, he couldn't refuse her.

He closed his eyes to hide his pain from the others. "Okay, Hawke. Just let it go. We are going to get you home to your family. I swear it." His words seemed to calm her. A couple more minutes passed of silently holding her and she pulled away on her own.

Hawke hung her auburn head, unable to meet any of her male companions eyes. "I'm sorry. I should be stronger for you all. Instead, you have been forced to carry me. Don't think I haven't noticed that there have been no mage-templar arguments and I know you have done it for my sake." She took a shaky breath. "I just fucking hate the Deep Roads." She looked up and gave them a weak laugh.

Anders grinned. "Hey, that makes two of us!" Varric waited with bated breath to see what reaction Hawke would give him. She laughed again, this one a little richer, more like above-ground Hawke. He released the breath he had been holding.

She began to lift herself up, but her legs had fallen asleep in her position on the hard ground and before she could catch herself she felt his sinewy arms reach for her. The sharp metal dug into her skin in places and she looked into Fenris' large green eyes.

"Come, you should walk around and get the blood flowing in your legs again." He kept his hand at her elbow as he led her toward the large chamber. She spared a look over her shoulder and caught the sadness in Varric's golden eyes before she turned the corner with the elf. When they were far enough away he gently released her arm and shifted nervously on his bare feet.

Hawke waited patiently for him to speak. There was no point in rushing what he had to say, it would only cause him to get mad and then lie about what was really on his mind. "Hawke…when you reached for me during the fight…" He sighed and ran a hand through his white hair. "I know that it was not me you were hoping would be there." His green eyes flicked up to see her shocked expression and he gave a low chuckle.

"You should tell him, Hawke. I think you might be surprised if you do."

Hawke looked like she could be knocked over with a feather. "How…how did you know? Not that you aren't…I mean, ummm…nevermind." She flushed and this time he gave a real, deep laugh.

"Believe me when I say that he cares very deeply for you, Hawke. Trust your instincts. They never steer you wrong in the middle of a fight and they won't in this, either." He reached out and brushed a stray hair from her face. "You are a beautiful woman, Hawke, and if you didn't already have feelings for another, I would have pursued you."

She smiled at the elf as they walked back towards the treasure room. Anders was pointedly ignoring them and Varric was slowly filling their packs with the best items in the room so they could leave. The dwarf turned around and plastered a large smile on his face when she reached him.

"Here, you should be the one to do the honors." He passed her the key and her heart lodged in her throat at the gesture.

"Thank you, Varric," she whispered with a smile. With barely concealed excitement she walked to the door at the back of the chamber and slid the key into the hole. When the key turned and the ancient door unlocked she gave a triumphant cry. Turning to face her party with the first real smile they had seen in days she exclaimed, "Let's go home!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine except for the plot bunny.

* * *

When everyone felt they were far enough from the unsettling thaig the group began to scout for the best place to set camp. Anders found a side passage that was deserted and they agreed it was good enough. Fenris and Varric set off into a second passage hunting for deepstalkers leaving the set up to Anders and Hawke. By the time Hawke heard the familiar steps of her other companions a fire was burning and Anders was setting up the final tent.

Hawke took the game from Fenris with a nod and set to work skinning the creatures. It was impossible to chew through their tough hides they had quickly discovered upon entering the Deep Roads. Varric plopped on the ground next to her and pulled a bundle of deep mushrooms from his pack. As Hawke skinned the animals, he would chop them up into bite-sized chunks and began skewering the meat and mushrooms onto sharpened sticks.

"Kebabs." He held one up for her and she laughed.

"Oh, Varric, where would I be without you?"

He smirked, but the sadness was still in his eyes. "Well, you wouldn't be in the Deep Roads eating some of the most atrocious meat in all of Thedas." He turned his face away.

"Don't. Want to know what I think? I think that if I hadn't met you, I would have missed out on having the best friend I could ever wish to have and I would be bored out of my mind." She smiled. "We make a good team and we do good things for Kirkwall. I couldn't say that if I didn't have you."

He nodded solemnly. There was that damn word again. Usually he was honored to call Hawke his friend, but he was so tired of just being her friend. They finished making the kebabs in comfortable silence and then wedged the sticks into the stone base of the fire pit to cook them.

"Hawke! Come here!" Anders was standing on the path behind their little encampment waving enthusiastically. She and Varric stood up and followed the mage. Not far down the path she heard water and as she got closer to the source she was able to smell the crispness of a clean stream.

Anders was sitting beside a small brook with his feet dangling in the water. "How is it not tainted," she asked the former Warden.

He shrugged. "I don't know, but I can tell you that this tunnel has been deserted for a long time. I think it's technically still part of the thaig and for some reason the darkspawn avoid this area of the Deep Roads. I can't sense any nearby and my magic tells me this has not been travelled in centuries."

Hawke suddenly had an idea. "Anders, would you mind going to check on the kebabs, please?" He gave her a funny look, but just nodded as he slipped his boots back on and walked away.

When he was out of earshot Varric asked, "So, what did you want to talk about then, Hawke?" The dwarf turned around and realized that she had stealthed on him. "Okay, Hawke, you've had your fun. Give the dwarf a heart attack, ha ha. Now please tell me what you wanted to talk about."

He gave a start when he heard a splash and realized that she had followed the edge of the brook and hidden behind a pile of boulders, obviously intent on stripping and having a dip. She swam around the bend and gave him an appreciative once over. "Coming?"

Varric raised a blond eyebrow and crossed his arms. "No. What about Fenris?"

"What about him?" She quirked her own eyebrow in response.

He gave a heavy sigh. "Hawke, I can't. It wouldn't be right." They heard Anders' footfalls, but she stayed directly in the mage's line of sight as she glared at the dwarf.

"Hey, guys, dinner is…ready…yeah." He stopped and stared lustfully at Hawke's barely concealed form. Varric turned his back on his friend and grabbed the mage's arm as he practically dragged him back to the camp.

When both of the men were gone she swam back the way she had come. Since she was already in the water, she took the time to quickly wash away the grime and blood from her hair and body. With no other clothes at hand, she donned her dirty armor for the time being and hurriedly piled her hair on top of her head with the hair pins she kept in her multipurpose pouch.

As she entered the camp she ignored Anders' hungry stare and wouldn't meet Varric's eyes, but she took pleasure in seeing him kick the mage as hard as he could in the shin. The man glared at the dwarf and she turned her head to hide her smirk as she walked into her tent to get some clean clothes. She exited the tent wearing some comfortable tanned trousers and a flowing blouse that she secured around her waist with a wide belt. Fenris' voice near her ear had her tripping over her small feet and he chuckled as he caught her gently by the arm. Varric watched with narrowed eyes across the fire.

"Sorry to startle you, Hawke."

"Fenris…it's okay, I'm just not myself." He nodded knowingly and flicked his green eyes in the dwarf's direction. Hawke followed his gaze and felt her cheeks heat up to see the way he was scrutinizing the two of them, but especially her. She cast her eyes down quickly.

The elf leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "I heard about your attempted seduction." She froze and jerked her head in surprise. "Anders has a large mouth, but even without his commentary it is obvious that something is weighing heavily between you two." He pulled back and tilted her head from its downward direction. "I told you to tell him. He thinks there is something between us."

"Then why are you furthering his delusion by whispering in my ear like a lover," she hissed. He smiled and leaned his face to hers giving the impression that he was going to kiss her.

She felt his soft lips brush the shell of her ear when he whispered, "I'm helping you. Tell him. Tonight." With a coy smile he sauntered off to his tent and she risked looking towards to the fire to see that Anders had disappeared, but Varric was still sitting in his spot watching her with an unreadable expression on his face.

Hawke plucked up the courage from deep within her to walk the few paces from her tent to the fire. She took the kebab that Varric passed her with a nervous smile and ate quietly. The dwarf said nothing, just stared into the flames of the fire as she ate her dinner. When she was finished she tossed the stick into the fire.

"The mushrooms were a nice touch, Varric." He turned to her with that same unreadable expression on his face, but he gave her a tiny smile. The silence between them grew awkward, something it never was with each other and Hawke knew she had to say something. But how does one just tell their best friend that you are so in love with them that being in such close proximity without the intimacy of a relationship is slowly killing you? Maker, yes! Unable to contain her sudden excitement, she jumped up and said to the startled dwarf, "Don't go anywhere, I have something to give you."

She ran into her tent and dumped out the entire contents of her pack. It was here somewhere, it had to be. She had shoved it in her backpack that night. She was sure of it.

Varric was sitting outside and could hear her searching frantically for something. It made him nervous to see her sudden exuberance. He had no idea what could have brought it on. All he could think about was how the elf had lurked outside her tent while she was changing, like he was staking his claim over her and when she had walked out he had scared her into falling all over him. It had torn his heart to see her relax in his embrace as easily as she did with him, but he knew that she only saw him as a friend to go to in certain moments instead of a lover. He'd had no idea what she had been playing at down by the brook – she probably didn't even realize that it affected him the way it did. After seeing her practically naked though and then seeing Fenris lean in and whisper sweet nothings in her ear while she blushed had helped Varric make the decision to walk away from her and let her have her happiness.

With a happy giggle, Hawke located the vellum and tried to smooth it out without smudging the charcoal. She walked out of her tent holding a battered roll of vellum and headed his way with a large smile.

"Aww, Hawke, did you start writing the story of us in the Deep Roads without me," he teased. He laid his large hand over his broad chest and mock cried, "I'm wounded, my lady! Have you no faith in your storyteller?" She snickered at his antics.

"No, it's not a story. Its – well, I guess you could call it a piece of my heart." He froze at her words. He sent a prayer to his ancestors that she wasn't going to have him read the true story of how Fenris had seduced her. Hawke settled down beside him and the heat emanating from her body to his was so hot it was like being burned with her essence. He swallowed thickly and commanded his hands not to travel where they were not wanted.

Reverently, she picked up his large hand and placed the vellum in his palm and tenderly curled his fingers around it. Her brilliant sapphire eyes sparkled in the firelight and she drank in the sight of his golden eyes glowing like embers in the dark. "I want you to read this and tell me what you think. Please…it's important to me." She stared at him so earnestly that he couldn't say no.

"Of course, Hawke. Anything for you." She gave a shaky sigh and removed her hand from his.

"Good. Read it tonight, Varric." She gave him a chaste kiss on his stubble covered jaw before walking to her tent. Varric was pretty sure he'd just been struck by lightning. His whole body was tingling and burning internally from that simple touch.

"My ancestors hate me," he whispered to himself. Deciding that a cold dip in the brook was warranted he stood up and went to his tent to get some clean clothes and put Hawke's vellum under one of his books so it wouldn't get lost or ruined. He walked to the stream and taking a page from Hawke he rounded the bend and stripped behind the boulders before carefully sliding into the cool water. It was definitely going to do the trick in clearing up his problem and he tried very hard not to think of Hawke naked in this very brook not two hours ago propositioning him to join her.

"Shit." Oh well, he ducked under the water and began to scrub himself in earnest. He would just have to deal with this later or ignore it like he was ignoring his heart and spend the rest of his life in agony as he pined for the one woman he could never have. With a growl of frustration he climbed out of the stream and began to redress. As he walked back to his tent he felt nauseous at the idea of reading whatever was so important that Hawke demanded he read it tonight. He dumped his things in a corner of his tent and with unsteady hands lifted the book holding the vellum in place and took the paper gingerly.

He turned his lantern up to get more light and sat down on his bedroll. He could see it had been written in haste with charcoal so it was harder to read than ink, but if he could read Isabella's handwriting he could read this.

_We're trapped here, in the depths, in the darkness. I knew that Bartrand and Varric didn't see eye to eye about my becoming a partner, so I wouldn't have been too surprised if he had stabbed me in the back after finding the idol, but Varric? I could never do that to family. I would never do that to Bethany or even Gamlen. _

_It doesn't matter now – it's done and we are trapped. I will never get to tell Mother and Bethany that I love them one more time. Or him….Oh, Maker, I'm such a coward! Fenris almost died today because I wasn't focused when I should have been. I had been thinking about him and wondering what it would feel like to have his hands in my hair, on my skin, or to hear his voice caress my first name like honey. _

_He has no idea what he does to me and now I may never get the chance to tell him. I can feel myself losing more and more of my sanity in these tunnels worrying about darkspawn and spiders and now these new stone creatures that tossed Fenris like a ragdoll into the wall._

_I wish I knew how to tell him how I feel. He's right here with me! Yet, every time I get ready to say something the words die on my lips and are replaced by something mundane and idiotic. I want to tell him that his eyes glow with a fierce passion for life and that his voice makes my insides quiver. Whenever I catch him looking at me my heart skips a beat and it takes the rest of the day for it to catch up. _

_He always has my back and I have his. Which is why it's so hard to tell him that being so close to him, but not being with him is killing me slowly – how do you tell someone that? I'm sure that he cares for me beyond the bounds of friendship, as well, but he has a duty to his Clan –_ Varric briefly dropped the vellum. Clan - as in Clan Tethras? His world briefly tipped upside down. "Sweet Andraste." He picked the paper back up with shaky hands. _–to produce an heir and he can't do that with a human. With me. _It was getting harder to read the writing and he figured that she had been crying too hard to write legibly. _Oh, Varric, I wish I had the courage to tell you. _The last line was impossible to decipher, but he knew enough now.

Standing up he turned out his lantern and quietly slipped out of his tent. As he crossed the camp to her tent he felt his heart rate increase and his palms become clammy. He pulled back the opening of her tent and slid inside. Her lantern was turned down, but was casting enough light in her tent to see by.

She was lying on her bedroll, covered with a large blanket, chest rising and falling gently and her dark eyelashes fluttering against her pale skin. She really was the epitome of a goddess – gorgeous, powerful, and deadly. And he smirked at the discovery that this whole time her heart had been his after all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Original characters belong to BioWare. I'm just giving Varric the love he deserves. ***Lemon – Do not read if this offends you***

* * *

He sank softly to the floor and removed his boots before he crawled under the blanket with her. "I thought you'd never come," she whispered. Hawke was overwhelmed by the earthy, spicy scent that was Varric as he scooted closer to her. Maker, the headiness of his masculine pheromones alone was enough to unravel her composure.

Varric smiled against her shoulder. "A three-headed griffon couldn't keep me away from you now, Katya."

"Varric-" she was interrupted by his lips as they took ownership of her own. She didn't resist when his tongue demanded entrance and began to dance with hers. Her arms wrapped around his neck while one hand reached up and threw his hair tie across the tent. He chuckled against her neck as his mouth took its kisses lower.

One of his large hands slipped under her sleep shirt and caressed the soft skin of her waist. His calloused fingers slowly ghosted their way over her ribs and in between the valley of her breasts before they swung around in a circle and wrapped gently around their prize. He was surprised to find that they were larger than they appeared in her armor. They were a perfect size for his large hands – not too small, not too big. He smirked in the dim light.

She gave a sultry chuckle at his self-satisfied expression. Taking a moment to sit up she pulled the shirt over her head and tossed it in a corner. Varric sucked in a quick breath to see her sitting above him with her lovely body bathed in the soft glow of the lantern. His hands latched onto her tiny waist and eased her back down. She gasped when he took one of her rosy nipples in his mouth and deftly teased its twin with his hand. As he continued his ministrations she began to quiver underneath him writhing her core at the junction of their hips in desperation.

"Varric…Maker, I love you." He released her nipple and took in her beautifully flushed face with a halo of auburn hair splayed across the floor and her blue eyes dark with desire. For once the storyteller was at a loss for words.

"Ancestors, Katya…I love you, too." She yanked his face down to give him the most earth shattering kiss of his life. Her long fingers tangled in his blond hair, tugging playfully to pry a deep groan from her lover. He pulled back quickly to remind himself which way was up and start tossing his clothing far away from him.

When the offending garments were gone Hawke took a moment to run her fingers across his chest and play with his soft golden chest hair. She wrapped her arms around his muscular back and teasingly dragged her nails up his spine, enjoying the ripple of his muscles under her fingers and the growl that was building in his chest. Then her hands dipped down and she playfully grabbed his ass before darting her hand to his throbbing member.

Varric opened his eyes to watch her face as she explored his body. He could tell she was a little nervous about his width and he knew that she hadn't been with a man in some time or Isabella would have told him all about it after one of their 'girl talks.' With a tender smile he scooted his body lower and began kissing the juncture of her neck and shoulder and was rewarded to find it was one of her pleasure points. He decided to take a risk and gave her an experimental bite. Hawke's back arched off the ground and he could see she was trying to swallow the scream that she so desperately wanted to release. Ancestors…

He began moving his mouth lower kissing her breasts, flicking his tongue under the juncture of her breasts and her ribs, softly nipping her toned stomach. No matter what he did to her she just writhed and mumbled incoherently. He veered to the left and left a trail of fire across the skin of her thigh as his right hand left feather light touches on her other leg.

Hawke was somewhere between the real world and the Fade. She was in sensory overload with the teasing touches and kisses from the man she adored above all others. Her hips bucked unintentionally as the pad of his thumb pressed against her small bud and she nearly cried in relief when she felt one of his fingers enter her body.

Varric was trying to take his time with his lover – the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. Once his finger was inside her slick opening he was glad he had done that. She was too tight to take him right now. He changed the angle of his hand to give his face more room and sucked her clit into his mouth while he pumped his finger inside her to continue stretching her body.

When his mouth descended on her Hawke could not contain the scream of pleasure that was ripped from her throat. Varric smiled with manly pride at the vision of her arched off the floor, her lovely face flushed and eyes closed in overwhelming pleasure. He added a second finger and deftly twisted them inside her to further stretch her inner walls.

"Please, Varric, I can't…I need you." She opened her darkened eyes and her breath caught to see his golden eyes flashing with desire from between her legs. Never breaking eye contact with her, he gave her bud a final kiss and removed his hand from her body, and gently pulled her down her bedroll until their hips were once again aligned. He leaned down to kiss her deeply and the taste of herself on his lips made Hawke burn from her head to her toes.

Varric lined up his broad head to her opening and he hiked her long legs around his waist without breaking the kiss. As he began to slide slowly within her, he felt Hawke tense up until he rubbed reassuring circles on her hips with his thumbs. Once he was completely sheathed inside her he paused and broke the kiss. He looked down to see the euphoric expression gracing her beautiful face.

"Katya," he whispered.

She opened her blue eyes and rolled her hips against him. "Move, Varric, before you kill me."

His face lit up. "Happy to oblige, my lady." Her throaty laugh made his heart skip a beat as he began to thrust his hips slowly still trying to give her time to adjust, but she wasn't having it. Her legs tightened around his body and pulled him forcefully against her. He glanced down at her with surprise.

"I've waited long enough, Varric. I want you fast and hard." He smirked and jerked her hips against his, holding tightly as he thrust in and out of her willing body, until the only sounds were the slap of their skin and the steady crescendo of their moans.

He could feel the tight coil in his gut and he knew he was almost there. "Katya," her name fell like a prayer from his penitent lips.

"Yes, Varric…" her words turned into strangled moans and he felt her closing like a vice around him. With a well-placed thumb against her button she screamed his name and it took him over the edge.

"VARRIC!"

"Katyaaa!" He jerked erratically for a few more thrusts until he fell from his high and had to catch his body with his arms on either side of his lover's body, so he didn't crush her.

Hawke was sure she would be seeing stars for at least a week. She had never had an orgasm that was so incredibly powerful it caused her to go deaf from all the blood pounding in her head. When Varric rolled beside her and lifted her hand for a chaste kiss, she was sure she would explode with the sense of fullness and happiness that flooded her whole being.

"What about your Clan responsibilities?" She didn't want to ask, but she needed to know his thoughts on the matter.

He gave her a cheeky grin. "When have I ever given a damn about the Merchant's Guild and their rules? I'm not leaving you, Katya." He paused. "So, what was going on between you and the elf?"

Hawke laughed. "He figured out that we were too ridiculously blind to see that we loved each other, so he made it look like we were an item to light a fire under your ass. When that didn't work he used your jealous moments to show me that you cared." She brushed back an errant strand of blond hair from his eyes. "Why didn't you do something when you thought we were together?"

He dropped his eyes to the ground. "I was willing to walk away from my feelings for you so you could be happy. Even if it was with the broody elf. I didn't want to ruin something for you by being jealous."

At the touch of her hand on his stubbled jaw he raised his eyes to look at her. She was smiling tenderly at him. "Oh, my adorable, noble dwarf, what would I do without you?"

"I don't even want to imagine it, my dear lady," he replied right before his mouth sweetly met hers once more.

* * *

Hawke woke up sated and stretched languidly to remove any stiffness after last night's acrobatics. Varric groaned next to her. "You can't do that to a dwarf, woman. I have to remind myself to behave and not attack you." She gave him an easy smile.

"Sorry, but we need to get moving. I want to see the sun again so I can watch the way your hair shines during the day and I want to rub this in Isabella's face. She'll be so upset to hear that you're off the market." Hawke winked and jumped up to avoid the playful swat he tried to give her. After they tracked down all their clothing and decided to actually put them on; Varric led the way out of her tent, but waited so he could take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

They walked to the center of the camp where Fenris was waiting for them. He gave them a coy smile as they approached. "Glad to see you took my advice, Hawke. Now, we should pack up and leave within the hour. I put aside some breakfast for you both." He handed them a skewered deepstalker and left them to eat. When they were finished they quickly helped the elf break down the camp.

"Where's Blondie?" Fenris jerked his head in the direction of the brook. Hawke and Varric shared a look before she began to walk down the path, alone.

Anders was sitting beside the water and even though she knew he had heard her coming he did not acknowledge her. "I gave you fair warning that I was not interested in you, Anders. I don't know what you want me to say. 'I'm sorry that I'm a person and I have feelings and needs?' No - because I'm not."

He stood up and turned to face her. "I know that. I'm just wallowing in self-pity, Hawke. Although, I do have a question, if you don't mind." She crossed her arms, but nodded for him to proceed. "Why a dwarf? I mean, I know it's Varric, but are you so turned off by humans? First, you were all over Fenris, who's an elf, and then you were screaming his name as he fucked you last night."

Hawke's back was ram rod straight and Anders was afraid he had gone too far when he noticed her fingers twitched as though she was going to reach for her dagger. "He may not be human, but he's more of a man than you, Anders. That goes for Fenris, too. Race means nothing – it's the person that you fall in love with and you would do well to remember that the next time you make a racist comment around me." She turned on her heel and walked away.

Anders gave a heavy sigh and followed her towards camp. If he lived to see the surface again it would be a miracle.

Varric saw Hawke as she stormed up the path and he recognized the look in her eyes. It was the look she usually reserved for blood mages and slavers when she cut them down with relish. "Oh, shit." She glanced quickly around and seeing that the camp was packed up gave a curt nod to her companions. Reaching for her pack without stopping Hawke led the group back to the main passage they had veered off of the night before.

* * *

**A/N: **Reviews are always appreciated! Thanks to all of my readers and reviewers!


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **BioWare reigns supreme!

* * *

Hawke had been almost as militant as Bartrand, setting a brutal pace to make up for lost time and hoping that around every turn they would finally come across a tunnel that looked familiar or matched the Warden maps. They had been marching hard for four days and had yet to see signs that they were going in the right direction. For all any of them knew they could be heading deeper into the depths.

Ever since the argument between the mage and their leader tensions had mounted to a record high among the group. They were no longer on speaking terms, instead relying on silent communication such as body language or facial expressions. Varric was bracing for the inevitable blowup between the two, but they were simmering and hadn't reached the boiling point yet.

They had lost track of how many weeks they had been underground; at this point it had to have been months. The group was quite aware that their luck might not hold much longer in avoiding an army of darkspawn. Blondie's ability to sense darkspawn had saved them all a time or two, but his range wasn't infinite and he wasn't very good at predicting how many were usually in the groups they did engage.

Hawke shot Anders a questioning glance and he shook his head in the negative. She motioned her team into a small dead-end tunnel. "Let's set camp here tonight." The companions gave relieved sighs and began to pull out the required equipment.

"Hawke, we are low on our food supplies. Maybe Varric and I should see what we can find in the nearby tunnels." She knew that Fenris was itching for some action and Varric had seemed a little trigger happy lately. They were right about their food issue – they had only a few deep mushrooms left and they had been using Anders mana to melt ice since they hadn't found another water source. With a tired sigh she gave them leave to hunt.

"I will blame Bianca if you don't come back safe and sound." The concern in those blue eyes nearly stopped his heart. She knelt down to be closer to his face and he stretched out a gloved hand to cup her cheek.

"I swear that I will come back unscathed. Don't kill the mage while we're gone. We need him even if he is a racist asshole." Varric's brows furrowed together in anger as he remembered what Hawke had told him.

She grumbled playfully. "I promise not to kill him, but I can't guarantee that I won't kick him." The dwarf laughed and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the camp with Fenris.

Standing up she resumed setting up their tent. There didn't seem to be any point in keeping the fourth after it became public knowledge that they shared a bedroll. When they had made camp the night after they'd made love it was decided to just dump the extra tent to lighten their loads some. She was sure that at some point in this trek home they were going to wish they still had it, but it wasn't a necessity in the tunnels and keeping their priorities straight was more important if they wanted to get back to Kirkwall.

"I'm sorry for what I said." Hawke finished stabilizing the final pole and faced the mage. "I realize that what I said was cruel. I was jealous and angry…and I'm sorry." The blond man was standing in the center of the encampment anxiously rubbing his neck with one hand.

"You didn't do much to hide the fact that you were jealous, Anders." He winced and couldn't meet her eyes.

"I only meant to say that I thought you could do better."

The rogue snarled at him. "Meaning you, I suppose? You think that you are better. Ha, that's rich!" Anders was glaring at her as she continued. "Let me break it down for you – you are possessed by a warped spirit of Justice that you willingly took into your soul and cannot separate yourself from. You are the most coveted mage in two countries – by the Circle in Ferelden, by the Grey Wardens, and by the Templars in Kirkwall. And you can't go anywhere without stirring up more trouble!"

Hawke was railing into him now. Anders wished he could stop her, but what he could say to defend himself? Everything she said was true. Painfully so.

"The mage underground? I mean, really Anders! You are just asking for the Templars to either make you Tranquil or string you up in the Gallows to set an example! I don't want to be on the run anymore. I want to have a quiet life – "

Anders ran to her and slapped his hand over her mouth. Hawke squirmed to escape his hold until she looked into his face and her heart caught in her throat.

"Darkspawn," he whispered. He watched as the blood left her face and her eyes widened in horror. He closed his eyes and followed the faint threads of their taint in his mind and felt his stomach drop when he realized they were coming for them. They had heard her yelling at him, no doubt, everything echoed in the stone caverns. He opened his eyes and prayed fervently that he could protect her from a fate worse than death.

He felt her trembling and shook her gently to get her attention. Removing his hand he spoke, "They are coming and you need to be ready." He wanted to tell her not to let them take her alive, but the words died on his lips. He'd never told his team about broodmothers or how they were created and now was not the time. He would make that call if he had to.

Hawke gave a shaky nod as she pulled her daggers from their sheaths. Her mind briefly flew to Varric and she prayed that he was out of danger even as she selfishly wished he was with her. She felt the rejuvenation spell wash over her to keep her stamina up and saw the tension in Anders shoulders as he stared at the entrance to the tunnel. She knew then that they were in real trouble.

Even though she was expecting them when the brood of blood thirsty spawn poured into their dead-end cavern she nearly cried out in terror. The alpha immediately singled her out, pointing to her and casting orders to his minions. Fireballs were raining down on the enemy taking out a few here and there, only to see them replaced by more as they kept pouring into the camp. They began to splinter into smaller groups to make it harder for Anders' area spells to do much damage.

Hawke stealthed and crept along the wall to a small cluster and rapidly tore them down. Others began stalking towards her and she tossed a flask to stun them so she could backstab and hack without resistance. Too quickly the effects wore off and she leapt backwards and immediately dropped into stealth mode to escape their wicked blades.

She dropped her stealth beside Anders who had managed to paralyze a couple of spawn and Hawke took the opportunity to assassinate the bastards before flitting off to a corner full of archers. She felt the impact of an arrow land in her calf, but she didn't remove it until she had taken the group down. "Healing!" The cool wash of magic ghosted across her skin and knitted her torn flesh in a matter of seconds.

"Ahhh!" Hawke saw Anders fall briefly as a hurlock swung his sword at the mage's side. Anders retaliated with mind blast that sent the spawn intent on hacking him apart flying in all directions. Those couple of seconds that she let her guard down were all the darkspawn needed to knock her out with a pommel blow. "Maker, no! Hawke! I'm coming!"

The blond man tried to cut a swath through the spawn so he could reach her before they carried her off, but there were too many of them and he was running out of mana. He rained fire on them, shattered them with ice, and electrocuted every one that got within his personal space bubble. He lost track of her in the melee and he had to focus on destroying them if he wanted to live to find her.

"You messed with the wrong mage," he roared as he threw a chain lightening spell into another group waving their swords at him. TAT! TAT! TAT! "Thank the Maker," cried Anders at the sound Bianca's familiar song.

Fenris jumped into the middle of the fray and spirit pulsed them so Varric could pelt them with metal rain and he moved to hack at those along the edges. With a final war cry the elf crashed his massive sword into the neck of an emissary and sent its head flying across the cavern. Anders collapsed and with shaking hands swallowed one of his precious lyrium potions. Varric grabbed him roughly by his robes and jerked his head up to meet his furious golden eyes.

"Where is she?" Anders quickly scanned the room looking for the rogue.

He turned his pained brown eyes to the dwarf. "They took her." Varric shook him in frustration.

"Why? Why would they take her?"

Anders sucked in a deep breath and quickly explained how women were turned into broodmothers to create more darkspawn. Varric pushed him away in horror when the mage was finished speaking and saw that Fenris looked as though he would be sick.

"NO! No, I will not allow them to have her!" Varric picked up a genlock corpse and threw it against the stone wall, taking sick pleasure in the sound of the body crunching against the rock. "Fucking Deep Roads! Maker-forsaken darkspawn! They will only have her over my dead body." He turned to face his companions and pointed his finger at Anders. "Lead the way, Blondie, we leave now."

The trio left the cavern and followed Anders as he traced the faint threads in his mind. The darkspawn they were tracking had a head start and he was hoping that they weren't already too late or following the wrong troupe. He would never utter his personal fears out loud though; he'd willingly fall on Fenris' sword first or let Varric slit his throat. Anders knew that if they didn't find Hawke or if they did and they were forced to do the unthinkable to her, that none of them would see daylight again. The dwarf would make sure of that.

The pulse of darkspawn became stronger in his mind and he gave a mental cry of exaltation. "We're gaining on them," he whispered to his partners. With unspoken agreement that came from months of fighting together the trio picked up their pace as they moved through the tunnels. Soon the faint whispering in Anders head was a more persistent buzz that meant they were close – real close. He raised his hand to call a halt to the others and carefully peeked around the corner of their tunnel.

He could see the same Alpha Hurlock from the battle in the center of a large chamber gesturing to some of his entourage. Anders scanned the outlying edges of the chamber for Hawke and finally found her, trussed up and still unconscious against a wall. He breathed softly in relief to see her alive and unharmed, but then he heard her moan. The alpha turned his attention to her and gave a dark chuckle that didn't bode well for their leader.

Whipping his head back to the others he quickly explained the situation. Halfway through explaining how he thought they should approach the darkspawn they heard a scream. Abandoning their plan the three of them charged into the chamber not a moment too soon. One of the hurlocks had forced Hawke's mouth open and the alpha was approaching her with a hunk of meat dripping with black ichor. Hawke was desperately trying to wrench herself free while tears streamed down her face at her plight. The tainted meat was only inches from her mouth when a bolt sailed through the air and dissected the alpha's hand from his body. A second bolt followed on the heels of the first to embed itself right between its evil yellow eyes.

The hurlock holding Hawke in place snarled and released her with a rough shove, but was cut down by Fenris before taking two steps. There were a couple of archers on the opposite wall, but a fireball took them out and then it was over. Most of the brood was already dead in their camp, so it was easy to dispense with the rest of them.

Varric was already by Hawke's side cutting her free from her bonds and openly crying in relief. "Katya, tell me you're alright?" His large hands shook as he sawed through the rope.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Are you unharmed like you promised?" She tried to smile through her terror, but it looked more like a grimace. She had come too close to death today to smile just yet.

Varric sobbed as the last rope fell away and they threw their arms around each other. "Not a scratch, my lady." He gave her a rough kiss and then helped her stand. "We need to leave before more come."

Hands clasped in a near-death grip they traveled back the way they had come, only getting turned around once, and managed to avoid any more darkspawn encounters as Anders steered them past certain passages. When they reached their camp full of dead darkspawn leeching ichor on the stones it was unanimously decided that they would pack up and settle elsewhere no matter how exhausted they all were.

They worked feverishly to break everything down and were gone within the hour. They could not leave the cave of horrors behind fast enough.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **Just playing with the characters of BioWare's original genius. Thanks ladies and gents!

**A/N:** I apologize that this chapter seems to be mostly filler. I hope you still enjoy it and I wanted to say thanks to all those who have favorited this story and/or left reviews! See you guys in chapter 9!

* * *

The group gratefully collapsed in a tunnel far, far away from their first camp of the night. They'd been hustling, then walking, and finally dragging themselves for a couple of hours. Once the tents were assembled Varric insisted that Hawke go to sleep, not that it took much convincing. She was asleep before he finished tucking the blankets around her body. Giving her a feather light kiss on the forehead he returned to the center of camp.

Broody and Blondie were a little unsteady with their current level of exhaustion and he knew they would not be able to help protect Hawke without sleep. He was tired, sure, but the rush of fear he felt whenever he thought of how close he'd come to losing the only thing that mattered to him was enough to keep him awake for the first shift.

"Get some sleep, you two." He put up a hand to stay their protests. "Seriously, I'm too jittery to sleep right now and I'm in protective mode. I've got the first watch tonight." He lowered his voice even though he knew Hawke was passed out. "From now on we share watch duty at night and we hunt as a team. No more leaving her at a disadvantage."

Anders hung his head. If he had been forthright with his companions earlier then what happened tonight would most likely have not occurred. He could feel the glares from the others as though they were daggers tearing through his flesh to twist his heart painfully in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Varric-"

"Save it, Blondie, I don't want to hear your apologies or your excuses right now. Or ever." The mage nodded mutely. He looked up at Varric's heavy sigh to see him running a hand across his face. "Tomorrow we have to tell her. I don't want to," he justified at Fenris' gasp. "I know she has a hard enough time handling the dangers down here as it is, but if we aren't honest with her about what nearly happened she will never forgive us…or me."

Fenris gave an uncertain nod at the dwarf's words. "Varric is right. You will fix this, mage," he snarled. "She will want to know why the darkspawn tried to force her to eat…" the elf stopped and shivered. "And she will demand to know why we have suddenly become her shadows."

The very idea of explaining to Hawke what almost befell her made Anders tremble with anxiety and guilt. He swallowed thickly. "Of course," he choked. "Wake me for the second shift whenever you are ready, Varric." The dwarf's eyes flashed dangerously as he gave a curt nod.

"If I didn't want to kill him for his earlier comments to Hawke, I sure as hell want to now." Varric trembled with rage at the mage's stupidity. How do you allow people one considers friends to enter the Deep Roads without giving them vital information? Especially when their leader is a woman! Fenris laid a spiky hand on his shoulder in sympathy and the dwarf realized he was crying.

Looking away quickly he furiously brushed the water from his face. "You should get some sleep, elf." His words came out more gruff than he'd intended.

Removing his hand, Fenris responded, "If she were mine I would be crying, as well." Varric faced the elf again, studying him with an unreadable expression. Fenris gave a low chuckle. "Do not worry, I have no intentions of going after Hawke, but I do recognize that she is not like any human I have ever met. The thought of losing her wounds me, too, though it does not compare to your feelings, I'm sure."

Varric visibly relaxed and gave a wan smile. "Thanks for your honesty and having my back." The elf nodded and walked to his tent leaving Varric alone to guard his most precious possession.

He sank to the ground and carefully leaned his crossbow against a boulder. What the hell were his ancestors thinking when they made the decision to live underground and why didn't they leave when the darkspawn began to overwhelm the thaigs? Yes, he understood that dwarves were adept at finding gold and gems in the stone, but they could have learned other skills on the surface. Varric shook his head in resignation. Who was he kidding? The reason the dwarves stayed was because they were fucking stubborn and wouldn't admit defeat. And controlling the lyrium trade with the surface was damn good for business.

His family didn't have much respect for him since he'd been born "topside" as they would say, but they couldn't deny that he was a better businessman than his brother. The very same one that had betrayed them and left them to die in the Deep Roads. Varric snarled quietly as he wondered if Bartrand had known about broodmothers. Had his brother been hoping that Hawke would become one of them? The very idea made Varric's finger itch to pull the trigger on an imaginary Bartrand.

Varric replayed the scene of Hawke's capture in his mind. He had turned the corner to see the tainted meat dripping with corruption so very close to her luscious lips and he saw red. Varric knew about Beserkers, how they channeled their rage into brutal attacks on the battle field, and if he were a warrior the memory that he would call up to enhance his strength would be that one. He'd watched as the alpha's hand had detached at the wrist and then as the body crumpled to the ground with one of his bolts jutting from its forehead before he even realized that he was cradling his crossbow. Within minutes the other darkspawn were dead, too and once his vision had cleared he felt his legs quake under his stocky frame as he ran to Hawke's side to cut her loose.

As he pressed her against his chest for a bone-crushing embrace he'd sobbed his relief to find her unharmed, but even now as she lay sleeping in their tent he couldn't shake the horrifying visions from his mind. Varric could feel what was left in his stomach quickly rising and he rolled to the side in time as he retched. Gasping for air as he sat down once more he felt the tears on his face, but he didn't stop them. He only wished that he could vomit the images of broodmothers wearing Hawke's face from his mind as easily as he could empty his stomach.

So close – he'd been so close to losing her and it tore his heart open. If he and Fenris had been there maybe…no, he'd seen the bodies and knew that they would have been overwhelmed no matter how many of them had been there. He clenched his fist in rage as he thought of Anders – if that damn mage had told them sooner this could have been avoided! Varric caught himself thinking of the ways he could make the man beg as he worked on him with a dagger.

"Stop, Tethras. You don't work with the Carta anymore. Torture is not allowed," Varric whispered angrily to himself. Trying to calm his emotions he began to mentally recite a story that he had been working on concerning a flirtatious pirate and broody elf.

Three hours and two long stories later Varric was thinking it was time to get some sleep and let Anders take over. He'd also noticed that Hawke had begun to thrash around in their tent and he wanted to be by her side if she needed him. He stood up carefully and winced at the sharp pains in his legs and feet after sitting for so long as he walked to the mage's tent. "Anders, wake up. I need you to take over for me." He heard the man groan as he roused himself.

Anders stumbled out of his tent carrying his staff. "How long has it been?"

Varric shrugged and suppressed a yawn. "I'm guessing about three hours." The man nodded and the dwarf walked away before he punched the son of a bitch. He entered his shared tent as quietly as he could and carefully removed his boots, gloves, and duster. Gently he lifted the blanket and lay down beside his woman. He wanted to hold her, but he was afraid that any unexpected touch would wake or terrify her. So he contented himself with the knowledge that she was next to him unharmed and hopefully resting peacefully. His eyes closed and he fell asleep within minutes.

The world was shattered with a blood-curdling scream. Varric bolted upright and reached for his crossbow on instinct until he realized that the screams were coming from his lover. Hawke's eyes were open, but they were full of terror and unfocused. Gently reaching out Varric took her hand in his and whispered words of calm. "Shush, Katya. You're safe now. I love you, Katya. Be still, Beautiful, you're with me and I won't let anything happen to you."

She cocked her head at him very much like her name sake as she absorbed his words. Her screams turned into gasps as her eyes refocused and she realized who was speaking. With a sob she threw herself into his welcoming arms, "Oh, Varric." He continued to shower her with words of love and peace as she cried out all her tears onto his chest.

"Horrible, Varric…I was so scared!" The rest of her words were impossible to understand through her gasps and hiccups.

"Hush now. Don't think about it right now, just lie down with me and rest. I'll hold you all night. I swear to keep you safe." Hawke gave a weak nod and allowed him to pull her softly down into his chest. Her fingers found themselves running lightly through his golden chest hair in soothing motions. Varric gave a small smile to hear her contented sigh as she drifted back to sleep, safe in the arms of her dwarf.

A few minutes passed as Varric waited for sleep to come when he heard the light footfalls outside their tent, the shifty movements giving their owner away. "Yes, elf?"

More shifting and shuffling on the stone. "I…just wanted to make sure that she was alright." He cleared his throat uncomfortably on the other side of the canvas. Varric closed his eyes and prayed to his ancestors for patience.

"She is resting again. Just a nightmare."

"Good. Sorry to disturb you." Varric listened to the soft patter of bare feet head in the direction of the elf's tent. He glanced down at Hawke to see if their whispered conversation had disturbed her and was relieved to see her sleeping peacefully. He fell asleep again with a smile on his lips.

Hawke woke up with a start, but managed to swallow the scream in the back of her throat as she realized she was safe. In fact, she was sleeping in her tent snuggled in the arms of a softly snoring dwarf. The tension flooded out of her body and she allowed herself to just enjoy the moment. She pressed herself closer to him and grinned as he tightened his hold on her while moaning her name.

"Varric, wake up. We should get a move on." His eyes fluttered and then opened to reveal his molten gold orbs.

"Hello, Beautiful. How are you this morning?" He smiled to offset the loaded question. Hawke glanced away briefly and gave a small, tight smile. He pulled her in for a dwarven bear hug and ran his hand softly through her auburn tresses. "Oh, Katya, you don't have to pretend with me. I want to help you through this, but I need you to talk to me."

The gentleness of his tone warmed her heart. She knew she needed to face what had happened, but she wasn't ready yet. "I need some more time, Varric before I can talk about it. I'll let you know when I'm able to deal with it."

He gave a slow nod. "I'll be here whenever you need me." Hawke pulled back enough to give Varric a deep, grateful kiss. After such a thorough kiss he could only reply breathlessly, "Anything for you, lovely." Hawke giggled and helped him to his feet so they could dress and break camp.

Varric met Anders' eyes when they exited their tent and gave an inconspicuous shake of his head. The mage heaved a sigh of relief to be granted a short reprieve in explaining the actions of the darkspawn. Fenris' frown deepened slightly and he decided to pull the dwarf aside later to ask why he had changed his mind in telling Hawke why she had been singled out for capture. Before breaking camp they had a breakfast of cold cooked deepstalker and refilled their water containers with Anders creating and then melting ice.

When they had packed up Hawke checked the Warden maps again, but still didn't recognize any of the passages. She chose a passage that seemed to be heading in the general direction of a Deep Roads exit, hoping that she wasn't leading her small band of loyal followers to their deaths.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **Not mine – BioWare owns it all. I'm just playing.

* * *

After Maker knew how many hours of walking Hawke noticed that Anders seemed more animated. He was checking the maps frequently, even occasionally making suggestions about which tunnels to take, which Hawke didn't argue with. He was the one who could sense darkspawn, after all. They suddenly came upon a large entrance way in the tunnels and Varric turned to the mage. "Nice work, Blondie. We're back to where we started which means it's only another week to the surface."

Hawke laughed in disbelief. They had finally reached somewhere in these dark endless tunnels that would lead them home. It didn't take the group very long to locate one of their old campsites and after Anders gave the all clear they decided to stop early and rest. "Alright," said the dwarf, "time to go hunting. Hawke, you and I will take point and Broody and the mage can watch our backs." She was a little surprised that they were all going together, but she supposed that after what happened no one wanted to be left alone. Hawke shrugged her acceptance of the plan and headed out.

They collected more deep mushrooms and found a small herd of deepstalkers. Everyone was sick of the same meal night after night, but it beat eating giant spiders and darkspawn was out of the question. Fenris set about fixing up their dinner while the others pitched the tents. He was still trying to find a time to get Varric alone to ask him when they planned to tell Hawke, but she hadn't left the dwarf's side long enough.

Just then the tent Anders was setting up collapsed. The blond man stared at it for a second before he began to swear colorfully. Hawke shook her head with a small smile and walked over to help the mage better secure the poles into the stone. Fenris took the opportunity to hop up and quickly pull the dwarf a safe distance away from their leader's range of hearing. When the elf released him, Varric crossed his stocky arms and gave the elf a pointed look. "Yes, elf?"

Fenris glared at him. "What is all this nonsense about not telling Hawke about the broodmothers?" Varric straightened up and tried to fight his rising panic. "You were the one that suggested we tell her, dwarf, because you know as well as I do that she needs to know."

Varric shoved a finger in his face. "Watch it, elf. I do plan to tell her, but she told me this morning that she's not ready to deal with everything. So, we don't breathe a word until she's able to handle it or it might permanently break any stability she has." He shot a quick look over his shoulder to make sure she was still occupied. "We still have a week to go down here. I won't have her completely break down while we are still underground."

The elf continued to glare. "She needs to know, Varric. As you said, we still have at least another week down here and if we run across another brood or get separated in the passages, she _needs_ to have full knowledge of the dangers for her." He shifted his glance to the vibrant woman who was dealing with more than anyone should be allowed to and his heart tugged in sympathy for her. Varric didn't miss the softening of the elf's expression as he watched Hawke and he felt the burn of jealousy rising in his chest. Fenris turned his gaze back to the dwarf. "Just because you want to protect her doesn't mean that is actually in her best interest."

Damn, he had a point. If Hawke didn't understand the intentions that darkspawn had for her if she was ever (Maker forbid!) recaptured he would be removing her choice to die quickly in favor of being a darkspawn birthing factory. Not that Varric wanted to think about such things, but he was pragmatic. He knew that if he were Hawke and thought he might be taken hostage which choice he would make instead.

Deflated, Varric hung his head and whispered, "After dinner we'll tell her. Go tell the mage to prepare his speech." He turned to walk away, but was stopped by Fenris' metal hand on his elbow.

"I'm sorry that we have to do this." His large green eyes were full of sadness which was reflected back in the dwarf's face. Varric opened his mouth to speak then shut it and walked away. He sat down beside the fire to remove the meat before it burned and became even tougher than it usually was. Hawke laughed softly and he watched her through the flames as she finished helping Anders right his tent. She was still subdued, but more of the Hawke that he knew and loved was coming through with the thought of being home soon. Varric only hoped that she wouldn't lose that sparkle after the horrible conversation they were soon to have.

Hawke plopped beside him and happily took one of the skewered creatures. "You know you're starving when one of these things looks tasty." She gave him a radiant smile and he gave a small chuckle in response.

"I hope you don't gain such an affinity for this particular…delicacy that you lose your love of sweetmeats." He gave her a cheeky wink as she struggled to gnaw a hunk of meat off the stick. She rolled her eyes as she gave up and used her dagger to cut it cleanly and pop the bite in her mouth.

With exaggerated appreciation she fawned over the charred flesh. "Oh my! This must be the 'mystery meat' in The Hanged Man's stew! What else could be so chewy and disgustingly stringy at the same time?" The other men joined them at the fire and snorted at her antics. "And who could overlook the road kill flavor that's been smoked into the meat? Marvelous!"

"Hawke, you're forgetting about the cloying aftertaste of bile that naturally leeches through the flesh as you cook it." Anders sneered at his contorted dinner.

"That's the best part, Blondie. You've got to love a naturally flavorful meat then you don't have to worry about spoiling it with too much seasoning."

Fenris sighed. "What I wouldn't give for some salt." Suddenly, everyone was laughing and Varric's heart soared to see his Hawke making her grand reappearance. This was the woman he loved. The quartet continued to eat in relative silence as every now and then one of them would chuckle or snicker at their attempt at humor. After wiping themselves down with a somewhat clean cloth the group sat quietly around the fire.

"Varric, how old are you?" The unexpected question had the dwarf studying the mage carefully across the fire.

Trying to remain nonchalant, he folding his hands across his lap and replied, "Why do you want to know?" None of the men missed how Hawke's head swiveled in the shorter man's direction intently listening to every word.

Anders stretched his legs out trying to adopt a conversational stance. "No reason, just curious, really. I once knew a dwarf when I was in the Wardens and he lived up to all the stereotypes. Even though you have shown me that not all dwarves can be lumped in the same basket, I just wondered if there was one stereotype that you planned on living up to."

"Which one is that, Blondie? That I can drink a human under the table, that I find treasure with an internal homing beacon, or that I can eat the food at The Hanged Man without worrying about dying?" He smirked, but his eyes flashed warningly to the mage. Anders smirked back and barreled on.

"Oh, you know, the one where you have to marry another dwarf by your mid-thirties to ensure the continuation of your line? And aren't you the new Head of the Tethras Clan now that Bartrand has deserted you? I mean, you can only defy the Guild in so many things, but this one isn't something you can walk away from."

Hawke froze beside him. "Is – is this true, Varric? Is this something you can't avoid?" The steel in her voice only masked the pain underneath. The dwarf glared daggers at the self-satisfied mage and wished he could run him through with a real one.

He turned his gaze to his precious rogue and took her hand gently in his. "Katya, I have been refusing marriage proposals and offers for years. I'm not suddenly going to cave in just because they turn up the heat. I have you and you're all I've ever wanted, but never thought I would be lucky enough to have." He swallowed slowly and grimaced. "Besides, they already know about us."

"What?" Anders sat upright and pointed at the dwarf. "How could they know? This," he gestured to the two of them, "didn't even take place until we were already down here!"

Varric chuckled. "No, it didn't, but I wasn't the one that informed them." He met Hawke's brilliant blue eyes as he spoke. "Apparently, Bartrand thought there was something going on between us before we even left the city and sent a letter to Orzammar. We left before he received a response, so there is sure to be one waiting when we arrive, but I don't care! I don't care about their damn rules and their sense of noble pride. If my family dies out then it must be because the ancestors or the Maker or whoever willed it. I could care less."

Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears of happiness as she smiled at her lover. "Okay, Varric, but you still haven't answered Anders' question." Varric frowned with confusion.

"Huh?"

"How old are you," she asked with a grin. He chuckled nervously and ran a large hand across his hair.

"Uhhh, ummm…Yeah, I'm…" he took a moment to clear his throat, "uh, I'm…too old for you." He pulled away slightly, grumbling about 'damn mages', and refused to meet her eyes. He sighed and covered his face with his large hand. "You should be with someone like them," he indicated Fenris and Anders. "Of course, not _them_, but someone closer to your age."

Hawke sent Anders a withering look which he had the good sense to look ashamed under. Still maintaining eye contact with the mage she asked, "And how old do you think they are, Varric?" The dwarf shook his head.

"Mid-twenties, possibly late. Closer than me." Anders was blushing furiously now and avoiding Hawke's eyes. She was on to him and he was sure he was going to pay for starting this little drama.

"Really? Why don't you tell us how old you are, Anders?" Varric jerked his head up to see how uncomfortable the man was.

"Why you little shit!" No one expected Varric would suddenly leap against the mage, knocking him over as he pummeled him with his fists.

Fenris sat and watched the dwarf land blow after well-deserved blow on the idiot mage. Hawke finally managed to yank Varric off the man and move him back to his spot on the other side of the firepit. "We're waiting, Anders," said Hawke.

The blond wiped off the small trail of blood leaking from his split lip before he spoke. "I'm thirty-four."

Hawke turned to Varric with one eyebrow raised in expectation. He smirked. "I'm thirty-two, my lady." She smiled smugly. The dwarf flicked his eyes to her uncertainly as he cleared his throat. "Ahem, I know it's not polite to ask a lady her age, but how old are you, Hawke?"

She looked down quickly as the men leaned in to catch her answer. "I'm twenty-one. Bethany is only eighteen." Anders released the breath he'd been holding like someone punched him in the gut. Fenris leaned back in surprise and Varric was stunned into silence. Eleven years difference? And yet, here she was barely a woman acting as a leader twice her age. It broke his heart to think of how gifted his Hawke was on the battlefield and how early in life she must have learned her skills.

"Oh, Katya," she jerked her head as he said her name. The look on his face was so sorrowful that she was sure he was going to tell her that he couldn't be with a girl. "I'm so sorry that you had to learn the life of a fighter so young." His words caught her off guard. He didn't want to put her aside for someone older and more world-wise? He was sorry for the life she'd led?

"Varric, I-" He silenced her by pulling her into him for a hug. "I love that you're older than me," she whispered against his neck.

"And I love how feisty you are. I'm pretty sure that's going to stick around as you age." They shared a small laugh.

"Shall we retire," she asked when they separated. He shook his head no and caught the other's eyes. Taking her small hands in his larger ones he spoke solemnly.

"Hawke, there is something important that Anders needs to tell you. Fenris and I found out after you'd been taken." He paused when Hawke stiffened and he tried to soothe her by running his thumbs softly across her knuckles. "I know you told me you would talk about it when you were ready, but I need you to listen to what he has to say. I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't necessary."

She gnawed on her full lips before whispering to her men. "I'm listening." For the first time they could really see the young woman that hid under battle worn leather armor and humor to hide her vulnerability. Anders cleared his throat to remove the lump that had taken up residence there.

"I-I should have told everyone this before we entered the Deep Roads, but I didn't know how because it concerns you, as a woman." He took a steadying breath as he continued. "I learned about broodmothers after joining the Wardens. Not long after I was conscripted I was investigating a chasm outside of Amaranthine with the Warden-Commander where multiple darkspawn sightings had been reported. While we were searching the rift we rescued a young female dwarf who was part of a scouting party from the Legion of the Dead from being taken prisoner by a group of darkspawn." He paused and impulsively pulled his hair tie out to use his shoulder length hair as a shield from her piercing gaze.

"The Commander and Sigrun, that was her name, immediately understood each other as warrior women who willingly entered the Deep Roads and so the Commander agreed to help Sigrun complete the mission the Legion had begun. We traveled through Kal-Hirol killing darkspawn and the mutant 'children' until we found them. Three or four massive bloated grey creatures with tentacles and the ability to spit acid – the broodmothers." He looked up and made eye contact with Hawke who was trembling as he spoke. "Darkspawn sometimes capture women and feed them tainted meat." She gasped. "Most women die, but some survive the taint and after enough feedings they turn into broodmothers. They are the ones who give birth to entire broods, even hordes, of monsters. That's why there aren't many female Wardens and those that I have met, like the Commander and Sigrun, have claimed they would rather fall on their blades then become...that."

Hawke was trembling violently as the horrible awareness of what she'd barely escaped fully sank in. "Is that why…it tried to make me…one of them?" Anders nodded, his blond locks moving in time against his face. She ran to an unoccupied corner of camp and emptied her stomach at the visions swirling in her mind. The men politely ignored her retching trying to grant her a modicum of privacy. When Hawke had nothing left to expel she leaned her head wearily against the stone allowing the cool touch of the rock to soothe her jagged nerves.

The entire expedition had been a mistake. They'd been down here too long, even before Bartrand's betrayal, and then this madness befell her team next. Just how many times were they going to be required to save her ass like some wilting flower when she should be leading them confidently home? She was past ready to be above ground with the sun warming her skin and fresh air filling her lungs. Hell, she even missed the cesspool that was Kirkwall.

Turning back to her companions her soft words carried strongly in the darkness. "Three hour watch shifts then we break camp. I want to see daylight before another seven days pass." As she passed the men she took the water pouch Fenris handed her to rinse her mouth and continued to her tent when she was through.

Anders whispered, "I've got first watch."

Fenris rose haughtily. "Yes, you do. Wake me for the second watch." With a sad parting nod to Varric the elf slunk to his tent. Varric stood and headed to his tent without a word to the man – he had more important things to worry about.

* * *

**A/N:** I can't believe how this story has exploded! Thanks so much and please leave reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Meh, everyone knows this by now. BioWare is brilliant, blah, blah, blah. *shameless brown-nosing ensues*

* * *

Varric paused outside the canvas flap and took a deep breath. He stepped inside to see Hawke scratching furiously on a roll of vellum with his quill and ink. At least, she wasn't sobbing or breaking things, so he took this a good sign. Her blue eyes flicked up to meet his worried face before she resumed her writing.

Recognizing that she needed some time to think he began to shuck his clothing and prepare to get some rest before his turn to watch rolled around. Only when he was clad in his leather pants and naught else did Hawke stop writing. "Stop." He jerked his head up in surprise and froze as he was in the process of unlacing his trousers.

Securing the lid on the ink and putting her vellum to the side, she crawled to him on her hands and knees and with trembling fingers picked up where Varric had left off. He swallowed thickly. He wasn't sure if he should tell her to stop what she was doing or urge her to go faster. They hadn't made love since that first night. Their nights had been spent cuddling and sometimes caressing, but usually they were too exhausted, satisfied to take comfort in the arms of the other.

"Katya?" She looked at him with haunted eyes and his heart broke. "Oh, Beautiful." His voice quavered as he ran his hands through her long hair. "You don't have to do this-"

Hawke laid a slender finger against his lips. "Varric, I need you to love me. I need to feel you inside me. I'm going numb underground and I need you to remind me to feel again. Please."

He smiled gently at her as he teased, "You are entirely too overdressed for this occasion, my dear." She gave a weak smile as she began the process of removing her armor. Her nimble fingers flew over the buckles and clasps until she was only wearing her under tunic and smalls. Varric sat down on the bedroll and motioned her over.

Hawke snuggled against him reveling in his warmth and the heat he created in the pit of her stomach. No one had ever made her feel this way. She'd had a few lovers, not many and never for long, but this was different. The desire to be around Varric wasn't purely physical; it was almost an emotional requirement. In times of stress and fear he was the one she looked to for comfort and he had always been there.

His strong fingers worked against the knots in her neck and she gave a small moan of pleasure. "Roll over on your stomach." She sat up and removed her tunic before she laid on the bedroll. Varric's heart stuttered to see so much creamy skin revealed to his eyes. He doubted he would ever get used to the sight of such perfection that she so easily shared with him. She truly had no idea how stunning she was and it amazed him. Steadying himself his fingers caressed and soothed every knot and sore muscle in her back and shoulders. Her small moans of pleasurable pain added to his excitement, but he was determined to ease her body of the stress it had endured.

As his hands skirted past her smalls and began to work on the bunched muscles in her legs she lost her patience. "Damn it Varric, I know you have amazing hands, but I need more than that right now." He laughed at her pout when she rolled over to face him, but then lost concentration when his eyes landed on her heaving breasts.

"Maker, woman…" She grinned impishly as she cupped her sizeable mounds in her palms.

"What, these things? Psh, Bethany's are fuller." She howled with laughter as the talkative dwarf nearly swallowed his tongue and turned a deep crimson. He was sputtering and floundering for a response, but what in the Maker's-name does a man say to that? "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist and your reaction was amazing."

He dropped his head in his hand and mumbled, "I'll never be able to make eye contact with Sunshine ever again." Hawke giggled at his discomfort. He looked at his lover and smiled warmly at the mischievous glint in her eyes. "Come here you. I only want to think about you and me right now."

Hawke melted into his arms as his lips descended on her mouth hungrily. He groaned when she rubbed her core against the straining bulge in his leather pants. Laying her gently down he moved his mouth to her wonderful breasts, licking and sucking on one and then the other, while his hand was languidly circling her heat through her smalls. Hawke's mind shut down and she allowed herself to feel instead of think. She focused on the teasing pressure on her pearl combined with the flick of his tongue against her nipples.

Roughly yanking on his leathers she panted, "Off. Now." He smirked as he stood up and eased out of his trousers. Hawke was sure she was drooling at the sight of such overwhelming manliness and her brain nearly imploded at the realization that it was all hers. Grinning fiendishly she commented, "Oh, Isabella is going to be _so_ jealous!"

Varric's laugh dropped an octave as he responded to the dark desire in her eyes while she ogled him. "Stop talking about other women, Katya," he teased.

"Mmm-hmmm. No more talking." Varric took a couple moments to stare at the woman who was waiting for him to fill her body with his own. He was a lucky bastard. Guess his ancestors loved him after all.

He kneeled beside her once more and helped her peel her smalls off her impossibly long legs. Leaning over her to kiss her lips again he began to situate himself when she pulled away. "I want to try something."

"Okay," he smiled, "what did you have in mind?"

"Let me be on top." He tried to keep his nod from being too enthusiastic, but she wasn't fooled. "Mmmm, someone likes it when the lady takes control. Noted." They chuckled softly as they rearranged themselves so Varric was lying on his back and Hawke straddling his hips. She gave him a breathtaking smile before she slowly lowered herself onto his thick shaft. He watched as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and then he had to close his own when she completely enveloped him.

"Ungh," was the only response he could give her. His hands moved to her hips as she began to move. Soon, they had worked out a rhythm and Varric could only stare at the red-haired goddess above him. Every now and then she would open her eyes to watch him and the intense blue orbs full of love and desire were seared into his memory like a brand.

Hawke had never felt so full. His girth truly was impressive and yet it was still a perfect fit. She loved watching him bite his lips to keep from groaning too loudly and enjoyed the pressure of his fingers digging into her flesh. Those were bruises she would cherish.

"Varric, I'm – "

"Me, too, babe." He pressed her down a little more which changed the angle enough to rub her bud and sent her soaring over the edge. He followed behind with a roar filling her with his seed. She collapsed on top of his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. They stayed that way for a couple of minutes as they caught their breath.

"I love you," he whispered through her mass of hair. She turned to face him and smiled – not a trace of sadness to be found in her eyes.

"I love you, too." Hawke rolled to the side and snuggled against his chest as they fell asleep.

* * *

Fenris' whispering woke him up. "Varric, it's your watch."

He sat up groggily and hissed, "I'm coming. Hang on." After he located his clothing and dressed he stepped out with Bianca. He noticed with some amusement that the elf wouldn't meet his eyes. "Haven't seen anything?" Fenris shook his head and then headed for his bedroll.

It was a slow, but thankfully uneventful shift and when the three hours were up he roused everyone. Munching on cold leftovers to fill their bellies the team broke camp and began a quick march on the path that led to a way out. They repeated this process of shortened camp stays and marching purposefully for four days. On the fifth day, when they'd only been on the move for a couple of hours there was a sudden change in air pressure.

With excited glances the companions picked up their pace and as they rounded a corner they could see light in the distance. They had finally reached one of the openings in the Free Marches. It was still a good two hours from where they were standing, but now they could see their goal. Hawke stifled the hysterical laughter in her throat, but didn't stop the tears of joy. Varric took her hand with a smile. "Let's get the hell out of here, Beautiful."

It was a good thing that they didn't just barrel out of the entrance into the light. After months of being underground their eyes were more adjusted to darkness and as they slowly closed the distance to their escape it eased the sting of sunlight. It was decided that they would wait for the sun to begin its descent on the horizon before exiting the caverns so there was less chance of them going blind. The companions dumped their packs for a rest at the mouth of the entrance, breathing in the fresh air with relish as they anxiously waited for the shadows to lengthen.

A squeal passed unbidden from their leader as she grabbed her pack and rushed out of the cavern when the sun was low enough. She ran down the curve of the path laughing and screaming, "Thank the Maker!" The men she left in her wake smiled warmly to see the young woman so carefree, so _Hawke_. The tiny woman finally turned three-quarters of the way down and shading her eyes with her hand yelled back at them, "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go!" None of them had ever been able to refuse her, so they readjusted their bags and jogged to catch up.

They made it to the bottom of the path as a group and waited for Anders to check his map. "Ah, there's a village not far from here. If we hurry we might make it before the sun sets and see if they have an inn."

"No deepstalker tonight, boys! Oh, and a real bed and a bath!" She was off again, her rich laugh washing over them all and lifting their weary bones. With Hawke in the lead the group reached the village just as the light was disappearing and they asked a startled villager for the inn. The man took in their bedraggled appearance and decided he wasn't going to ask questions, just pointed them in the right direction and hurried home.

Normally travelers would have been welcome in a tiny inn that didn't see many people or much money come through town, but the sight and smell of the four visitors gave the proprietor pause. The rough looking blonde with angry eyes scowled at the regulars as a slip of a girl – or woman, hard to tell under all that grime – made her way to the bar to ask about rooms. He was surprised to see that the man with the large sword and unusual tattoos was actually an elf and he might have missed the dwarf if he hadn't followed the girl.

He was about to tell them all to shove off, that he didn't want whatever trouble was sure to follow this bunch, but the dwarf silenced him with a large coin purse he tossed his way. Taking a peek inside the pouch he started and told his barmaid to prepare four rooms complete with baths and meals. The man was so surprised to see all the gold shining up at him that he nearly missed what the girl – nope, definitely a woman, now that she was up close – said to the maid. "Only three rooms, please." His girl nodded to the adventurer and led the group upstairs, leaving the proprietor to wonder which of the others in the group would be sharing their room tonight.

After the maid showed them their rooms and promised them all to have baths prepared as quickly as she could, Varric turned to Hawke in the hallway, "Did you see the look the owner gave you when you said three rooms?" She snorted and walked into the room the girl had shown her which meant it was also his.

"Yeah, and once she draws a bath for us, his curiosity will be satisfied and everyone will give us strange looks when we leave tomorrow." He laughed heartily at the idea. Soon, there was a knock on their door and Hawke whispered, "Here we go." Ancestors, he loved this woman.

She opened the door just a crack and he heard her say, "Oh, yes, of course. The center of the room should do just fine." The owner and the maid entered her room carrying a large wooden tub and Varric could see the man glancing around to see who she was sharing her room with. He walked around the other side of the bed where he'd been hiding behind the velvet curtains.

"Here you go, love. I found your dagger. You kicked it under the bed." The maid couldn't hide her gasp of surprise when he passed his dagger to her and the man nearly dropped his end of the burden.

Hawke's eyes glinted with mirth as she smiled. "Thank you, dear." She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. Standing up she saw that the others in their room had frozen in shock. "Yes, right there is perfect." She gave them her most radiant smile as they quickly placed the tub on the floor before making a hasty exit. The girl promised to return with hot water as soon as it was ready on her way out. When they were sure they were gone, Varric and Hawke collapsed in a fit of laughter on the floor.

"I haven't had that much fun in a while, Hawke." He gasped for air. "We need to get out of town more often so we can scandalize the country folk."

"That's a great idea…ow! Pulled something…laughing too hard." With great difficulty they calmed themselves and stood back up. Hawke passed Varric his dagger that he kept hidden in his boot and they began to unstrap their weapons. Varric looked at Bianca and knew she would need some serious cleaning; it might even be time to have it done by a weaponsmith, as much as it pained him to admit. Hawke had reached a similar conclusion about her daggers – these were shot after beating up golems and rock wraiths. At least she had the coin to go shopping for new ones in Kirkwall.

A furtive knock sounded on the door and this time Varric answered. The flustered barmaid entered carrying two buckets of steaming water that she promptly poured in the tub before leaving. With as small as the tub was they had to bathe separately and poor Varric was stuck using the water Hawke left behind, but he'd insisted. "I can take a nice hot bath in my own tub when I get back to The Hanged Man. I just want to wash off as much of the Deep Roads as I can and call that good enough."

They gave their smalls a cursory wash with what soap they had left and hung them to dry. The rest of their clothing and armor was just going to remain dirty until they reached the city and had an entire week to catch up on laundry. With a sigh, Varric clambered onto the human sized bed enjoying the feel of a soft tick mattress instead of hard stone that seeped its coldness into your bones at night. Hawke fell down beside him with a smile and cuddled against his broad chest. The lovers were asleep within minutes.

* * *

**A****/N: **Yay! Made it out of the Deep Roads...for now...Mwuahahahaha!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Only the plot bunny is mine. Characters and recognizable dialogue belong to BioWare.

* * *

When the quartet left the village a safe distance behind the following morning, Hawke and Varric's grins bubbled into raucous laughter, while the elf and the mage just looked confused. "I told you they would stare!" Varric only nodded through his chuckling at Hawke's breathless statement. Word must have spread like wildfire about the young female and the rich dwarf because every pair of eyes in town had watched them leave with barely concealed shock. At one point, Varric was sure one of the men working in a field was going to throw his pitchfork at him, but he'd taken one look at Bianca strapped to his back and changed his mind.

"I think the Deep Roads cracked them. It's official – the rogues are mental and I can't fix that kind of damage." Anders was only half teasing with the elf. He was beginning to think that will all of their hysterics that maybe they were straddling _this_ side of crazy. Wiping tears from her face, Hawke turned to her companions and filled them on their mischievous antics with the owner and his girl. Fenris and Anders couldn't help the laughter that escaped them as the story unraveled.

"Come on, you two. Let's get to the city. We should be able to make it by sundown if we don't waste much time." Anders admitted he was happy to see Hawke returning to herself – he only wished it was with him, but with all of his issues with Justice and being tainted it was probably for the best. It didn't make it hurt less, though. He took in Fenris' usual glare and wondered if he was feeling the same way. It was impossible to read him.

Everyone was in a hurry to get to their respective homes, so they only paused for a short rest, pulling out the fresh fruit and carefully wrapped meat pies they had purchased from the inn. Fenris located a fresh spring not far from their path allowing everyone to drink deeply from the fresh water. Hawke was sure she'd never take such a simple thing for granted ever again.

It was something she'd been contemplating on the final leg of their journey. She could feel the sun thawing out her numbness from the Deep Roads, working deep within her tattered soul to fill her with warmth. The sound of the birds, the wind gently rattling the leaves overhead, and not far off she could hear the waves lapping against a cliff – this was the music of her daily life that she had taken entirely for granted until she'd stopped hearing it. Now, after months of being buried under miles of rock with the whispers of spiders and grunts of darkspawn that echoed throughout the tunnels, these simple noises ranked as one of the best symphonies she'd ever heard.

The closer they got to the city the longer it felt to reach it. "There she is," said Varric. Jutting high above Kirkwall, almost as if they were proud of their history of oppression, where the 'twins' in the harbor. "Never thought I'd be so glad to see those damned chains."

Fenris scoffed behind him, but even he had to admit that seeing them reminded him how very close he was to his own dilapidated mansion where he fully intended to sleep for a week. Anders grunted. He was glad to be back in a sense – being in Kirkwall meant not being in the blighted Deep Roads, but it meant having to hide from the Templars and Knight-Commander Meredith. He rubbed his eyes wearily.

Hawke could barely contain her excitement. She briefly wondered when Kirkwall had begun to feel like home since she'd grown up in Ferelden, but she didn't dwell on it. She was nearly there and she was ready to tell her mother and sister that they were rich and could easily buy back the Amell estate. Glancing down at the man beside her, she took his hand and asked shyly, "Will you come with me to tell Mother and Bethany the good news? I want you to see how happy they are."

Varric's heart melted at the sincerity in her words and he gave her a broad smile. "Sure thing, Katya. I wouldn't miss rubbing your family's good fortune in Gamlen's face." Hawke giggled as she walked towards the city hand-in-hand with her dwarf.

The sun was again dipping down in the sky when they entered Lowtown. Anders and Fenris said their goodbyes and went their separate ways to their parts of Kirkwall, while Hawke and Varric passed the alienage in the direction of Gamlen's hovel. With a large smile on her face, Hawke barreled through the door and froze; the good tidings of their journey turning to ashes in her mouth. Varric peeked around the taller woman and said the first thing that hit him. "Oh shit."

Knight-Captain Cullen was standing in Gamlen's cramped living room as two Templars flanked Bethany who was wearing circle robes. "Bethany! What's going on?" Leandra was standing next to the youngest Hawke looking more care-worn than when the expedition had left town.

Bethany rushed forward, but stopped short of touching her sister. "Please don't do anything!" A clank of metal was heard as Cullen uncrossed his arms to speak.

"Mistress Bethany is being taken to the Circle of Magi in the Gallows." His eyes never stopped watching Bethany as though he was waiting for her to turn into an abomination in front of all those assembled.

Hawke staggered slightly on her feet and Varric unconsciously reached out to steady her. "But, I've just arrived back from the Deep Roads. Bethany, oh little sister, the Gallows is horrible. You can't possibly go there!" Varric could feel the tension rolling off Hawke in waves and he could tell she was close to losing her composure. He ran a large hand up and down her back in an attempt to calm her before she lost her temper in front of the Knight-Captain.

"I have to. That's where the apostates go, isn't it?" Hawke flinched as the bitterness in her tone.

"Consider your selves fortunate," said Cullen. "Her cooperation allows us to spare you the punishment for harboring a dangerous mage…this once." The steel in his voice had Varric wishing he could bring Bianca out to say hello.

"Oh, Bethany, what will happen to you?" The worry and barely concealed panic in her mother's voice broke Hawke's heart. She should have been here to protect her little sister. Now, she was going to blame her not only for losing Carver, but Bethany, as well. Hawke hung her head in shame.

"Don't worry, Mother, I'll be fine. Look after her, sister." Hawke and Varric stumbled out of the doorway so the Circle entourage could make their way through. Leandra collapsed when the door closed and Hawke rushed over to comfort her. Varric stood awkwardly in the corner and gave her mabari, Menace, a quick pat on the head when he nudged him with his wet nose. Gamlen helped Leandra off the floor and assisted her to the filthy back room she shared with the girls – well, just one now.

Hawke turned to face Varric. "I..don't know what to say. This wasn't how I envisioned my homecoming." She gave a bitter chuckle. "I believed that arriving home after so many months away with money to buy the estate that I could redeem myself to my mother, but after this…" she ran her hands roughly through her dark hair. "There is no chance of that now. No matter what I do, it will never be enough because I didn't try harder to protect them."

He moved to stand in front of her and she knelt down to his level. His golden eyes shared her sadness and surprise of what transpired, but under it all was a reassurance that he would be there to support her through anything. "You don't have to prove anything to anyone, Katya. I understand the desire to though, but you are a wonderful person. You always have everyone's best interests at heart and that's why you have so many people who love you." Varric laid his gloved hand against her cheek and she pressed her hand on top of his.

The bedroom door creaked open causing the two of them to quickly separate. They weren't quite ready to have Gamlen gossip about their relationship during his visits to The Blooming Rose. She shot Varric an apologetic grimace - he merely smiled and shook his head softly.

"How is she, Uncle?"

Gamlen sniffed in derision. "She is resting. I don't know how she's going to cope now that both of them are gone and it's all your fault. If you hadn't gone gallivanting into the Deep Roads on that damned expedition none of this would have happened!" Varric clenched his fist and reminded himself that the pathetic excuse of a man was still Hawke's uncle and he couldn't maim him in his own home.

Hawke's eyes were shut tightly and her face was pinched in an ugly scowl. She looked like a bow pulled taut, ready to release her fury on her target with all her strength. Menace whined at his mistress' distress and she replayed Varric's words to slowly wash the tension from her body. When she opened her eyes it was to see a very nervous Gamlen observing those behind her. In her peripheral vision she saw her lover pinning her uncle with a murderous glare and Menace with hackles raised. "You're right, Uncle. If I had been here the Templars would never have found Bethany when they are so intent on hunting down every poor soul who shows the slightest hint of magic." Varric mentally cheered her sarcasm. "If I'd never gone on the expedition I would never have found enough treasure to buy back the estate and then some." With a flick of her wrist she yanked her pack off her back and onto a nearby table to rattle the coins and other relics they had collected while underground.

Gamlen's eyes bugged out of his head as he stared hungrily at the pack. "Oh no, Uncle. You didn't fight darkspawn or come close to dying a few times. I earned that with _my_ blood, sweat, and tears and Maker take me if I let you have one single copper!" Hawke was shaking with rage. "This is to give Mother a better life – a life she should have been able to walk into when we came back to Kirkwall, but because of you we have lived in this rat hole for nearly two years."

Picking her bag up, she headed for the door. "Wh-where are you going, girl?"

"I'm taking _my_ money far away from you before I catch you attempting something incredibly stupid, like stealing what's mine. You can't do to me what you did to Mother, and believe me, if I catch you I will kill you." Varric stood in his corner with his arms crossed and a smirk plastered on his scruffy face. He chuckled as he followed her out the door.

Her anger and bravado kept her moving into The Hanged Man and up to Varric's suite before she dropped her bag and melted into one of his chairs. With a frown, the dwarf quickly called for Norah to bring them some ale and prepare some water for a bath. Hawke took her mug with a weak grin, but it widened when Varric gave a toast. "To our success. I think we both found what we were looking for." He winked and was rewarded with a giggle.

"Yes, we did. Welcome, home."

"I'll drink to that, my lady." They clanged their mugs together in salute.

* * *

Hawke moved up in the world – literally. Bought the family mansion in Hightown. Three years passed as she made a name for herself among the nobles as a woman who got things done, usually with her blades, and her business venture with Hubert was paying handsomely. However, Leandra never got over Bethany going to the Circle and Hawke felt the sting of rejection when her mother chose to use her maiden name. Not long after the team had returned from the Deep Roads and the final paperwork was being drafted on the estate, Bodahn and Sandal returned to Kirkwall, intent on setting up shop in Hightown again.

Varric tried to get answers from the father and son, but they didn't have anything worthwhile to share. According to them, after returning to the surface Bartrand packed his things and deserted his entire crew in the middle of the night and left no clues as to his whereabouts. When Varric passed what he knew to Hawke her mother decided that once the estate was officially theirs that they would hire on the dwarves. At first, Hawke had protested, but Varric convinced her that it was a good idea, what with Sandal being…well, Sandal.

Varric and the other companions visited Hawke in her new home frequently, yet Hawke still ended up spending most of her time in The Hanged Man. She used the excuse that Isabella and Varric lived there, but everyone knew that the high life didn't suit their feisty leader. Sure, she was glad to be out of Gamlen's hole-in-the-wall, but a low-key house in Lowtown was more her style.

"Hey, Hawke!" The woman turned her attention to the bar and gave the pirate a wave. "Sticking around for Wicked Grace?"

Hawke smiled as she headed for Varric's suite. "And lose my hard earned gold to you and your cheating ways?" Isabella laughed heartily, knocking back the last of her rum and signaling to Corff that she needed another shot.

Varric's door was open so she could see Anders talking to the dwarf. "If you think that was bad, I should tell you about the Blackmarsh."

The shorter man chuckled. "See, when you say things like that, Blondie, it just makes me glad I didn't know you sooner. Who goes to a place named Blackmarsh on purpose? Now, if they called it Beermarsh…no, still doesn't work." Varric shook his head incredulously.

"You've got a point. The marsh part does cancel out anything else. Flowermarsh? Kittenmarsh? Nope. No good." Anders grinned slightly at the dwarf until he noticed Hawke stepping into the room. "Ah, you've got company. I'll see you later." He didn't make eye contact with her as he passed.

Varric turned to see who'd walked in and his face lit up to see her. "Hello, Beautiful, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" He motioned with his hand for her to take a seat beside him.

"Have a nice chat with Anders," Hawke asked as she took a seat.

"He was telling me a story of being in the Wardens. Remind me never to join that crazy order. I've had enough of darkspawn and the Deep Roads." He shivered at the memories. Hawke was biting her lip and avoiding his eyes. Mentally smacking himself he leaned over and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Katya, I shouldn't have brought it up."

Huffing angrily into his chest hair, she pulled back to face him again. "It's not that, Varric." Hawke paused when he arched an eyebrow. "Okay, it's not all of it. Mother and I were talking today and she mentioned that she was looking for a suitable match…for me."

Varric jumped out of his chair with his hands raised. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Uh-uh, not gonna happen. Hasn't she put two and two together yet? I mean, it's been three years! I've stayed over with you, you've stayed with me, we have crazy adventures all over this city - together. Shit, even the Merchant's Guild knows we're a package deal!" Pacing about his room he noticed the door was open and deciding he didn't want Rivani joining the conversation he shut the door and snapped the bolt to keep his fellow rogue out.

Hawke was still in her chair fidgeting with the edge of her blouse. "I'm sure she assumes that we aren't serious. I'm her only hope of grandchildren, but even after all the times we've made love I've never once showed signs of being pregnant. I don't even think I can fulfill that wish for her." Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of all the ways she'd failed her mother.

Varric moved closer to her. "Hey now, you and I have talked about this. It's not something either of us wants, especially with all the fighting you do on a daily basis. You can't live your life trying to please your mother, Katya. It's time to be selfish and think about what you want."

She nodded as the traitorous tears fell into her lap. "I know that, Varric, but it's so hard to crush another of her dreams." She sighed, "But you're right. It's time we were honest with her about our commitment."

It was his turn to sigh. "Yeah, apparently we weren't obvious enough the time we nearly broke your bed. This conversation with your mother is probably going to go down as the most uncomfortable, awkward discussion of my life." He plopped into a chair. "When do you want to do this?"

Hawke looked at him under her long, dark lashes with those heart stopping blue eyes and he groaned. "Andraste's ass! You want to do this now?"

She leaned over him, practically falling into his lap, her soft, tempting lips barely brushing against his ear. His body was ram rod straight and his knuckles were surely white under his gloves as he clenched his hands on the stone chair. "Please," she whispered.

"Sure," he croaked. "Anything for you, my lady." Hawke moved her lips to meet his in loving kiss that turned his bones to mush. When they separated, he panted across her neck, "Just give me a minute, okay?" Hawke could only laugh.

* * *

**A/N: **I wanted to mention why I chose the ages for the characters in this story. I realize that Anders is probably much younger in actual canon, but his character changed so much between Awakenings and DA2 that I chose to make him older. I think it suits his personality better. Varric has always struck me as being much older than Hawke, well, more so if you're playing a female Hawke, which I do…so, yeah. In my opinion, she isn't much older than her siblings and I created a story to represent that. Anyway, I wanted to say that before someone yelled at me for making such assumptions, so now you kinda understand my thought process. Thanks again for reading and leaving reviews!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** Swooping is bad – also, stealing. I'm not doing either. Pinky promise.

* * *

Hawke still got queasy when she walked into Hightown towards the lavish estate that she didn't feel at home in. Merchants and nobles alike called her Lady Hawke – capital 'l' instead of the endearment that Varric used and the difference unsettled her. It seemed so forced, so fake when others said it to her with that contemptuous undertone. Her status required her to rub elbows with them and play nice, but she knew what they really thought of her.

This evening as she headed to her house, Varric at her side, the nausea was only intensified by the errand they were on. She wasn't sure how her mother was going to react to their news, but she was tired of living her life to please her mother. It didn't matter who her mother tried to set her up with – they weren't Varric and she wasn't in love with any other man. Honestly, his being a dwarf had never even factored into her feelings for him. He was the same as any man, just shorter, and he was the only one she'd met who fit so perfectly in her life.

She paused outside her door to take a deep breath. Varric was nervously flicking out his duster to remove any stray dust particles. "Maker, this is ridiculous. Let's just go inside already."

He looked at her and teased, "Then why are you whispering, hmm?" She blushed and gave him a playful shove causing him to chuckle. With unsteady hands Hawke pushed the door open passing into the main room. Menace was in his usual spot in front of the fire, sleeping the day away, and didn't register her entrance. Bodahn greeted her from his favorite corner and gave her the usual speech about messages from those horrid people she had to pretend to like.

The door to the library was open and Hawke bit her cheek to prevent herself from groaning aloud. Leandra was sitting at the writing table composing letters of her daughter's eligibility. Hawke could see there was already quite a stack piled on the corner of the table. Knocking softly against the door frame to alert her mother to her presence, Hawke spoke, "Mother? I'd like a word with you, if you don't mind?"

Leandra turned to face her eldest. "Yes, dear? What's on your mind?"

Hawke motioned Varric over. "Actually, _we_ would like to speak to you – privately."

"Mistress Amell, you are looking well this evening." He inclined his head in acknowledgment of her status, but he didn't bow since he was technically noble-born himself. Normally, Varric wouldn't be willing to claim such, yet he decided he would use it to his advantage, if needed. Varric was a born rogue and he would use every trick up his sleeve to ensure that this ridiculous notion of marrying Hawke to some stuffy noble would end tonight.

"Mother, let us take this discussion to the sun room." Hawke turned and headed up the stairs fully expecting her Mother to follow, which she did with a sigh, while Varric took up the rear. When they reached the sun room Hawke motioned that they should sit down on the plush chairs that were arranged in a semi-circle.

Leandra turned her gaze to her daughter. "What is this about, dear?" Varric stifled a groan – either Hawke's mother was a damn good actress or she was truly oblivious. As he observed Hawke's exasperated expression he was betting on the latter.

"Mother, surely you can guess what this is about…" The older woman looked confused as she shook her head.

Varric cleared his throat. "What Katya is trying to say, madam, is she's…uncomfortable with the idea of marrying a man that she did not choose herself." Hawke smiled softly at her silver-tongued dwarf.

Leandra leaned back with a sigh as understanding dawned. "I realize that this is not an ideal situation, my dear, but you are of marriageable age and you have yet to make a decision on whom to marry."

Hawke dropped her face in her hands as her patience began to thin. Normally, Varric would laugh at the sight, but it was no laughing matter tonight. Hawke's voice was muffled slightly as she spoke, "Mother, you cannot be so blind, unless it is willful ignorance." She lifted her head and the pained expression on her face tore Varric's heart. Apparently, it did the same to Leandra's.

"Oh, Katya. I'm sorry this is so hard for you. If Bethany were here I would help her settle down instead so you could have your freedom, but she's in the Circle so you are the only hope the Hawke line has of continuing."

Varric's mouth fell open. Ancestors! She really is oblivious…she thinks Hawke desires freedom instead of the right to love who she wants. He finally realized just how little Leandra understood her oldest.

"Argh! No, you have it all wrong, Mother! I don't have a problem with getting married, I have a problem with _you_ choosing my husband when you have no idea who I am or what I want from life!" The confused look was back as the older woman tried to figure out what Hawke was telling her.

"But, don't you want a family, a husband to take care of you –"

"Yes, I do!"

"Then I'm afraid I don't understand what the problem is. I'm only trying to help you. Maybe if you told me what to look for in your suitors it would narrow the choices." Leandra smiled hopefully at her daughter. Varric couldn't restrain the groan anymore.

Hawke threw her hands up. "I give up! Varric, you make her understand." Great. Sodding wonderful. How do you break the news to a clueless, older woman that her young eligible daughter is not interested in any suitors, because the only man she's been seeing for three years is actually a dwarf?

Hawke's mother turned her pale blue eyes to the dwarf in earnest, obviously trying to understand what they came to say. "Madam, surely you must have noticed that Katya is interested in someone?" He nodded encouragingly, but could only sigh when she shook her silver head. He tried another tactic.

"She's never brought anyone home to…stay the night? Or never sent a message saying that she wouldn't be home that evening?" Leandra's cheeks flushed ever so slightly.

"I'm sure that she must have, but I try not to pry so I don't ask too many questions. Why, Varric? Are you insinuating that there is someone in her life already? Is that what this is about?" He nodded slightly.

Leandra jumped up and ran to Hawke excitedly. "Why didn't you say so? I would never have brought up the idea of suitors if I'd known you had someone already. Who is he? Have I met him?" Hawke stared at Varric incredulously over her mother's shoulder and he shrugged. He fully believed that Leandra lived in a bubble of willful ignorance and they were just going to have to lay it out for the poor woman and hope she didn't have a heart attack.

Controlling the urge to roll her eyes, Hawke replied, "Yes, Mother, you've met him. In fact, you've had him over for dinner on occasion."

Leandra was practically bouncing with excitement. "Oh! I should have guessed it would be one of your companions. Is it Anders? He's very handsome. No, he's too serious. Please tell me, darling, the suspense is killing me."

Varric slid out of the chair and adjusted his duster before speaking. "It's me, Mistress Amell." Leandra startled at the sound of his voice and turned to face him slowly. Hawke moved closer to him so her mother could see that they were serious.

"Oh, my…" Leandra sank into the chair nearest her while she absorbed the information. She thought back over the years she'd known the dwarf. When she first met him after he offered to make Katya a Deep Roads partner she was skeptical of his smooth words. But he'd quickly grown on her as she realized that he was a loyal friend of her daughter. Leandra was not so blind as to see that there had always been an undercurrent of _something_ between the two, but she never thought they would act on it.

However, after returning from the expedition and then what happened to Bethany, Varric was the only one to help Katya out of her depression. He convinced her to get out and do things, he secured odd jobs for her to take on, and he seemed to be a constant presence in their lives coming over nearly every day to make sure she was functioning. She recalled an evening not long after they'd moved into the estate. She had gone to the market and did not realize that Varric was visiting, but she'd heard his voice coming from behind the slightly closed library door. Unable to stop her curiosity Leandra peeked into the room to see Varric sitting on one of the large chairs before the fire with Katya curled in his lap. Admittedly, the older woman was surprised, but she continued to listen in.

_Varric reached out a hand, brushing an errant strand of hair out of her eyes, as he spoke. "You can't live like this. I know the Deep Roads were terrifying, Katya, but you have to go outside. Everyone misses you and without you bossing us around we are all bored to tears. If you don't take Broody out of the city soon he's going to lose all his blasted coin to Rivani."_

_Hawke laughed softly, followed by a sniffle, alerting their listener to her tear stained face. "I know and I want to go back to the things I did before. I miss everyone, too, but – oh, Varric!" Her shoulders shook with sobs that she tried to choke back. Varric gently pulled her into his chest and let her cry whispering words into her ear._

_Carefully, climbing out of his lap she stood with arms crossed in front of the fire. "The nightmares, Varric. I can't stop thinking about what they tried to turn me into-"_

"_But they didn't."_

_She threw her hands into the air. "It doesn't matter! I barely escaped something worse than death and sometimes the fear after one of those dreams is so paralyzing that I can't go outside." He held out a large hand to the scared young woman and she stepped closer to take it. "Just be patient with me. Please, Varric, I really am trying. I'm just not whole yet."_

_The dwarf nodded and gave a small smile. "Of course, Beautiful. I'm here whenever you need me."_

At the time, Leandra was sure she'd witnessed two friends comforting each other after a harrowing experience in the Deep Roads. She'd known that the trip had been a nightmare for the four people who went. The trip had taken too long – a six week expedition ended up being almost three months and Katya had refused to ever speak of what happened to her. It only made sense that she would seek out one of her companions that had gone through what she had for comfort. Now though, the older woman began to see the truth of their relationship. Varric had become a frequent guest and at times she would receive a message from Katya that she was staying late at The Hanged Man with her companions. Her cheeks flamed as it dawned on her what she'd had actually been doing.

"I see. I never realized that your friendship…had evolved." It suddenly became difficult for anyone to make eye contact.

Varric cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I want you to know, madam that I care deeply for your daughter." Hawke smiled down at her lover and Leandra wondered how she had missed such open affection between the two.

"I know that, Varric. I can't believe I didn't see it myself." She turned to face her daughter. "What would you have me do, Katya? I had hoped for grandchildren…"

Blushing as red as her hair Hawke looked directly at her mother. "Mother, we've been lovers," her voice quavered on the word and Varric suddenly found the tile quite interesting, "for three years. I've never shown signs of being pregnant. I-I don't think I can." Hawke whispered the last part regretfully.

Leandra's mouth was a perfect 'o' as she took in the information. "Three years? Oh, yes, I see…well then, there doesn't seem to be any point in worrying about suitors, does there?" The older woman sighed in resignation. It seemed she would never have any grandchildren, but at least she could give her blessing to one child and grant them their happiness.

"Really?" Varric and Hawke asked the question at the same time. The synchronization made Leandra laugh as she nodded.

"Really. It seems that you have chosen someone who makes you happy, my dear. I will not take that away from you." Hawke leaned down and planted a quick kiss on Varric's stubbled jaw before she ran to her mother and enveloped her in a tight hug. Varric smiled at the sight of mother and daughter bonding – over him, no less!

Leandra felt the hot tears running down her neck and into her collar as her daughter whispered, "Thank you, Mother. I love him and I'm sorry I can never give you grandchildren, but my heart belongs to Varric now." She nodded her silver head against Hawke's shoulder in silent understanding.

"Be happy, darling. It's all I ever wanted for you." When the women parted, Leandra teased the man grinning in the middle of the room, "I suppose it's a good thing I did not send out those letters, hmm?"

He laughed and gave a playful bow. "I'd be happy to help you incinerate them, madam. In fact, I think that's an excellent idea. We should do that now." Hawke nodded enthusiastically before calling for Bodahn to bring the letters. A few minutes later the older dwarf entered the room with the letters tucked under his arm and passed to them to Varric with a small nod and then left. Walking over to Leandra, Varric handed her the top letter with a smirk. "You know as well as I do, gentlewoman, that to lead on these poor nobles about Katya's eligibility breeches social etiquette." Hawke giggled and Leandra's lips quirked at the dwarf's antics. "Would you do us the honor of beginning this most solemn of ceremonies?"

With an exaggerated sigh Leandra took the letter he proffered her. "Yes, good Ser, I will be the first." She stood up and tossed the letter into the flames. Everyone watched as the edges caught and the paper rapidly burned into a pile of ash on the logs. Hawke took a small handful and tossed them all at once into the blaze with a cry of exultation and Varric followed her letters with his own.

When all the papers had disintegrated into unrecognizable ash Varric released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. On unsteady legs he made his way to a low couch in the room and plopped down. Hawke followed him worriedly and sat down gingerly beside him. He took her small hand in his own. "Maker, let's never go through this again. I don't think I can handle it."

"I agree," she replied. "Are you okay, love?"

He gave a winning smile. "I am now, my lady." Varric shook the residual fear and anxiety from his mind as he turned his smile to Leandra. "Would you ladies care to join me for dinner? I know of an excellent restaurant in Hightown. I think we should celebrate Katya's non-eligible status."

Turning her bright blue eyes to her mother Hawke pleaded, "Please say you'll come, Mother. I would love it if you would join us." The older woman looked at the couple and was tempted to tell them to enjoy their time alone, but she could see they truly wished she would agree.

"Let me get my shawl. I'll meet you both downstairs." The trio departed for the restaurant where Varric spoiled the ladies with the finest that Kirkwall had to offer as he spun his best stories late into the evening. It was a wonderful night and by the time their host escorted them home, Leandra was sure that Katya could not have chosen anyone more perfect to spend her life with.

* * *

**A/N: **Hope this wasn't too syrupy sweet. Let me know what you think!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, just playing.

* * *

A week passed since the conversation with Mother and Hawke was happy with where things stood between the three of them. Life returned to normal in short order as messages arrived at her mansion asking for her help. One was even from the Viscount requesting her help with the Qunari again. Hawke groaned at the prospect. Those damn creatures were more trouble than they were worth. The last time she got tangled with them, she'd nearly died when the Tal-Vashoth leader ran her through with his massive sword. It was thanks to Anders that she survived.

She rubbed her eyes as she thought of the mage. He had only become more obsessive and unstable since the expedition. Every time she turned around there was another one of his manifestos shoved in a book or closet in her house. Varric mentioned seeing some in the Hanged Man even. Tensions between Hawke and Anders skyrocketed when she'd helped Sebastian solve the mystery of his family's murder and then recruited him as a companion. Whenever she took the both of them on a mission she usually went to the Hanged Man and drank herself into a stupor afterwards to drown the memory of their ceaseless bickering.

Shoving her messages to the side, wishing that if she buried the scraps of paper the actual requests would disappear, Hawke grabbed her daggers and left the estate. The sun was shining high in the sky as she made her way to Lowtown. She hadn't visited Merrill in some time and she needed to check on her naive blood mage. Varric's protection could only go so far – the Templars were becoming more powerful and the new recruits were zealots who would never dream of looking the other way for coin.

Halfway to Lowtown Hawke caught sight of the assassin tailing her. The boldness surprised her; it was barely past noon on a weekday and the markets were busy. Why would someone choose to follow her in broad daylight? Picking up her pace she kept to the main streets hoping the large amount of witnesses would continue to discourage her tail from attacking. As she entered the Lowtown market Hawke stopped at the trinket vendor to lure the assassin into a false sense of security while she inconspicuously observed him. The vendor was showing Hawke her newest wares and one of them immediately caught the rogue's attention. In the split second she dropped her guard, all hell broke loose in the market.

At least six or seven Carta members dropped from the rooftops or materialized out of the shadows. Hawke cursed as she pulled her daggers from their sheaths and back flipped over one dwarf who tried to slice the tendons in her ankles. So, it was like that, was it? As soon as her feet touched the ground, she stealthed and made her way to the archer in a corner of the market who'd already shot a few shoppers with his wide arrows. When she reached him she was horrified to see his milky white eyes that seemed to see everything and nothing at the same time. Her knee-jerk reaction was to run, but the years of fighting conditioned her to respond to a threat and without a second thought she cut him down.

Twirling around she caught the blade of one of the Carta that he was intent on stabbing her with and using all her strength she pushed and sent him flying across the market. Kicking out with her opposite foot she knocked the wind out of another dwarf and took the opportunity to assassinate him. She continued to disarm, unbalance, and stab, but they kept coming! With every one she took down, two more took his place, and in the madness she'd lost track of the assassin. Warily, Hawke tried to maintain her focus and watch her own back, but she was wearing out.

As another wave flooded the market bolts rained down and she gave a relieved laugh. "Varric! Watch out for the assassin!"

"Don't worry, Hawke, we've got you covered." Merrill giggled as she electrocuted a couple dwarves who had redirected their attacks to the mage and archer on the stairs. With two others to back her up, Hawke was able to focus on taking out the insane dwarves. Leaping into the air she slammed her daggers into a team of archers that were unloading arrows in the elf's direction and flipped around an ax-wielding dwarf to backstab him while he was unbalanced.

As quickly as it had begun, it was over. Bodies of white-eyed dwarves littered the market and the cries of the injured began to fill the silence left after battle. Something still felt wrong though. Checking over the bodies she saw no sign of the assassin she caught tailing her. Senses on high alert, she tossed a glance to Varric and saw the uneasiness she felt mirrored in his golden eyes.

"The blood! We must have it! The blood of the Hawke so He can rise again!" The disembodied voice echoed throughout the market effectively silencing all noise. Daggers in hand Hawke waited with bated breath for the assassin to show himself. He was cloaked in the shadows, watching and patiently waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

Slowly and carefully, Hawke walked backwards towards the stairs, away from the shadows in an attempt to bait the assassin into revealing his position. Bianca clicked behind her with Varric's finger poised above the trigger as she made her way towards her companions. A fire bomb exploded in front of her face temporarily blinding and distracting her enough to allow the assassin to abandon the shadows and run on silent feet in her direction. Merrill tried to stone fist the mad dwarf, but he rolled out of the way, hopping up seconds later to the right of his target. Hawke was still blinking away the bright spots in her vision and could only stumble feebly as he advanced on her.

TAT! The crack of Bianca's archer's lance echoed across the stone walls of the market even after the assassin became nothing more than a smear of blood and gore across the steps. Varric hobbled down the few stairs between him and his lover. He turned her to face him with his heart lodged in his throat. "Katya, can you see anything yet? Do you feel pain anywhere?"

"No, I'm not injured, Varric. My vision is still spotty, but it's clearing up. I should be okay in a few minutes." The blond dwarf sighed in relief as he supported her by the elbow and led her up the stairs towards the Hanged Man.

"Merrill, come with us. I was on my way to see you actually. I'll buy you a drink for covering me." The elf tried to protest, but stopped when Varric promised to tell her a story. Once they were in the dimly lit pub Hawke's eyes more readily adjusted and she was able to walk up the stairs without help, but Varric glared at her when she suggested it. She stifled a giggle at her protective lover's insistence and allowed him to lead her to one of his chairs.

Norah sauntered in to take their order and before she'd even left the room some of Varric's runners crashed into his suite. He quickly spouted orders about who they should approach to conveniently help any locals and merchants forget that Daisy was casting spells and that some crazy dwarf mentioned blood and Hawke. The last thing he needed was the power hungry Templars jumping to conclusions about blood magic and his woman – or her sister who was at their mercy in the Circle.

His men dispersed to do as they were told and he fell into the chair beside Hawke. Norah brought their drinks and then made herself scarce. Hawke ran her finger through the condensation on the mug while staring at the stone table top. "I'm sorry, Varric. You're always paying to get me out of trouble. I'm going to end up turning your hair grey or draining your purse before too long and I'm not sure which one you would consider worse." She gave a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"I'll still be ruggedly handsome with grey hair and no matter how much money I spend we always seem to find more to replace it." He watched her thoughtfully over the rim of his tankard. "Katya, don't worry so much. I like making sure that my friends and my family," he lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles lightly, "are safe. I'm used to taking care of an entire clan of money-grubbing dwarves that aren't fit to kiss my boots, but you and the others are worth every cent."

Merrill gave a dreamy sigh, reminding Hawke of her presence and forcing her to tear her gaze from the blond man's. Varric caught the way her eyes had widened when he said she was part of his 'family' and he wondered what it might mean, but now was not the time to pursue it.

As the rogue and the elf talked, Varric tried to work out why the Carta would have a contract out on Hawke. It was unlike them to plan an attack the way they did. It was sloppy, amateur, rushed. The only one who seemed to have any sense in how to take out a target had been the assassin. And what was wrong with their eyes? Maybe they were a new branch of Carta, but he would have heard about them, either through his contacts or his official Orzammar intel. The more he tried to make sense of the attack, the more confused he became.

He started slightly at the touch on his arm, but he relaxed when he saw that it belonged to Hawke. "Varric, you promised Merrill a story. Why don't you get started on that? I'm going to see if Isabella is at the bar real quick." Giving him a smile she stood and left as he began to tell the childlike mage a story about a sad elf who forgot how to frolic, but danced when no one was watching in his broken mansion. Hawke laughed to herself – when Fenris heard that story he was going to kill Varric.

Bypassing the bar, Hawke snuck out the door of the pub and down the stairs to the trinket vendor. The poor woman was rather frazzled after tracking down all of her wares that had been scattered during the skirmish and was in the process of closing shop early. When she caught sight of Hawke she gave her a tremulous smile.

"Mistress, I am so sorry about what happened to your wares. Allow me to cover the cost of the damage as recompense."

The vendor shook her head. "No need, my lady, your friend saw to that already." She continued to pack up as she spoke. "Is there something you needed, my lady?"

"I – yes, I hope so. I noticed a ring before the attack and I was prepared to purchase it. I was hoping you still had it."

"Can you describe it to me?"

Hawke tried to calm the thundering of her heart. "A men's signet ring, gold, dwarven origin." The merchant nodded and began to dig through her wares. She hadn't been sure when she saw it that it was his, but there had been no time to examine it thoroughly. Hawke sent a prayer to the Maker that it hadn't been lost in the melee. Finally, the woman pulled a large ring from her box of trinkets and held it out for her to see.

"Is this the ring, my lady?" Hawke took it and nearly wept in relief to see the Tethras seal. She clutched it to her chest and blinked to stem the flood of tears that threatened to overflow of their own accord.

"How much for it? I'll pay anything." The merchant was so surprised by the lady's reaction that she didn't know what to say.

"I – uh, nothing, my lady. You saved our lives today and as I said before your friend already paid for any damages. It's my gift to you. Good day, my lady." She gave a small curtsy as she took her box and headed for home. Hawke watched her go in awe and let the tears slip through her lashes as she felt the reassuring weight in her hand which proved this wasn't a dream.

Drying her eyes she ran up the stairs to the pub and directly to Corff at the bar. With a large smile she requested a bottle of Nevarran Red be delivered to Varric's suite and paid the eight sovereigns instead of putting it on his tab. The astounded bartender watched her sashay up the stairs and asked himself again how the damn dwarf managed to catch such an incredible woman. Hawke entered just as Varric was wrapping up the story. "Even though the elf couldn't remember anything about his life before captivity and even though he loved a woman he knew he could never have, he felt alive when he danced through the empty halls of his house. Part of him never forgot how to frolic and that was the part that taught him to dance."

Merrill wiped away her tears and smiled sweetly at the storyteller. "Thank you, Varric. I promise I won't tell Fenris, but it was a lovely story." She glanced up. "Oh, hello again, Hawke. I should be going home before it gets dark." She hugged them and sniffled her way out the door. Hawke saw the man at the front of the pub follow her out at Varric's nod and she shook her head.

"You do realize that Fenris will hear about your little story and attempt to rip your heart out, right?" Hawke smirked down at him.

Varric waved a hand airily. "Meh, every story has its critics. So, where did you really disappear to, Katya? I know Rivani is out, probably hat shopping." Norah walked in and bustled about the table, clearing away their mugs of ale to make room for the Red and wine glasses she carried. Once the waitress was gone Hawke turned to Varric who was seated at the head of the table, hands steepled thoughtfully, giving her an appraising stare. Flicking his whiskey eyes to the wine quickly, he asked, "Is there a special occasion I'm forgetting about? Normally, I'm very good about remembering dates."

"Not unless you want to immortalize the day you saved my life, but there are already too many of those to keep track of." They shared a warm smile. Hawke removed her dagger sheaths and gauntlets to keep her hands busy as she calmed herself. She could feel Varric's eyes on her as she laid the items on a table near the door.

"I have something for you, Varric." When her fingers slid into her pocket and encompassed the weighty ring, Hawke could not hold back the small smile, and with a flick of her wrist she tossed it to the man. His rogue reflexes caught it easily and he sucked in a breath to see the gold band in his palm.

"My father's signet ring…Bartrand pawned it off to pay for the expedition. I can't believe you found it!" Hawke slid into a chair beside him with an easy grace for someone so tall.

"I know that even if you don't admit it that it holds meaning to you. I was your father's and it's been with your family for generations. It belongs to you now, Varric, as Head of Clan Tethras."

His throat began to close at her words. It was true that he didn't like being Head of the family and dealing with all the bureaucracy, but holding his father's ring filled him with pride. This touched him deeply and he wasn't even able to articulate why it pleased him as much as it did. "Thank you, Katya, I-I, just thank you."

Hawke smiled when he removed his gauntlets and slid it on the ring finger of his right hand. His head snapped up at the sound of the cork leaving the bottle and he watched as she poured them each a small glass. Nevarran Red packed a punch so it was wise to drink leisurely. He took the glass she passed him with a smoldering gaze and her heart skipped a few beats. Hawke lowered her eyes and flushed a pretty pink under his intense stare as she sipped her wine. Varric hid his grin behind his glass.

Lacing her fingers with his, they sat in companionable silence, tossing heated glances at one another as the heady drink coursed through their bodies. Varric reached for the bottle to top of their glasses when the door to his suite slammed open to reveal one of his runners, bent over and panting from exertion. "Serah…attack in…Circle on Lady…Bethany…Carta." The man sank with a wheeze to the floor.

The rogues jumped to their feet and grabbed their gear, completely uncaring as the wine tipped and began to splash in crimson waves onto the floor, glistening like blood in the firelight.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **Only the angsty-goodness is mine. BioWare only wishes they had made Varric this deliciously romanceable.

* * *

Hawke flew out the door of the pub careening to the left throwing hollow apologies to anyone she bumped into. Her long legs carried her down the stairs past the Foundry District leading her in the direction of the docks. In the back of her mind Hawke knew that she'd left Varric to practically eat her dust since he couldn't cover ground as quickly as she could, but at the moment all she could think about was reaching her sister before those insane dwarves killed her.

Adrenaline and terror were pulsing through her body instantly sobering her as she continued to run down the back stairs to the harbor. Damnit! There were always more stairs! "Bethany, I'm coming," she whispered. As she neared the docks she could see the ships' masts jutting into the air against the darkening sky.

Jumping over the last few stairs she was sprinting when her feet touched ground again. Hawke barely registered the grunt of surprise from the Qunari guard as she passed the compound. Her lithe form rushed down the final set of stairs and she rolled to slow her momentum before hopping up and asking the ferry captain how long it would take him to get her across to the Gallows. He assured her it wouldn't take long and she leaned against a barrel to catch her breath.

Finally realizing that she was alone Hawke tried to locate Varric. She finally saw him as he side-stepped a group of dockhands who were headed home for the evening. He started running when he saw her waiting for him. "I'm sorry I left you behind," she started.

"Hush, we need to see if Sunshine is alright." Varric tried to smile, but the effect was wasted by the obvious worry swirling in his eyes. "Come on, looks like the ferryman is ready to pull anchor." They scrambled aboard the ship and tried not to fidget with how long it was taking to cross the harbor. Had it always taken this long? Hawke couldn't remember, all she could feel was the tight coil of fear in her belly that was threatening to take over, filling her mind with horrible visions of Bethany dying at the hands of milky-eyed dwarves. Varric was staring across the water, working his jaw back and forth, in worry. He fully intended to get to the bottom of whatever this mess was. There would be no sleep for him tonight as he grilled his contacts for information about these demented dwarves.

Before the ship had even tied off, Hawke jumped down and took off across the dock that led to the Gallows heart. Varric tossed a sovereign to the ferry captain as he followed Hawke's example. As he neared the center of the Gallows he heard the ring of metal on metal and reached for Bianca. Hawke was ghosting in and out of the shadows allowing the Templars to do most of the damage for her.

"Bianca's getting lonely!" Varric rained bolts around the melee fighters in suppressing fire and pinned a dwarf that was bearing down on him. Almost instantly, the dwarf collapsed as Hawke backstabbed him and then pirouetted towards another group. She kicked a miasmic flask at a small contingent of archers which allowed the Templars closest to them to hack them down. Hearing the roar of an angry enemy behind her she evaded and popped up ready to rearrange his face only to see a bolt rip through his body and take out a second dwarf behind the first. Dropping into stealth Hawke entered the shadows, trying to ferret out the assassin she knew was there.

An eerie shout echoed through the courtyard, "We must have the blood!" Shit! It was coming from the opposite side of the Gallows. Hawke broke her stealth and erupted out of the shadows, intent on killing anyone in her way – this was going to end tonight. With pinpoint precision she slashed her way through the newest wave of Carta creating a path of destruction as she headed for the assassin who was just out of reach. Through a hole Varric made with bursting arrow she thought she saw her target leave the shadows and head towards the Gallows entrance.

"Varric! Assassin headed for the Circle! He's after Bethany!" Jerking his crossbow around he didn't even have time to sight the shot – just pulled Bianca's trigger and pinned the sneaking bastard into a pillar. He'd caught him in the thigh and he could tell as he closed the distance between them that he'd hit an artery.

Hawke ran over to the dying dwarf with murder in her eyes. "Why? Why are you after us? What's this nonsense about our blood?"

He turned his unsettling eyes to the woman and mumbled through chapped, cracked lips. "He needs it. The blood of the Hawke! He will rise again…with blood." Varric could see he was fading fast; the dwarf's face was already a sickly grey as his own life blood rapidly pooled around his feet.

One of the Templars was standing off to the side. "What's this about, Mistress Hawke? Are you involved in blood magic?" His eyes narrowed at the woman. "Or is your sister?"

Hawke turned on him. "Do you think I have any fucking idea what this is about? I'm trying to find out what they want! They attacked me earlier today spouting the same nonsense and then they came after my sister!" The Templar seemed unconvinced, but said nothing further.

"We will…not…stop until…we have the b-blood…" The assassin was weakening, but he had one final act of defiance in him. Reaching for the arrow holding him against the stone, he yanked it out to further destroy the artery, and crumpled in a heap as his heart pumped the last of the blood in his body out the jagged wound.

"No!" Hawke screamed at the dwarf on the ground. Varric restrained her quickly from doing anything rash. There were too many witnesses, who happened to be Templars that now suspected her of being in league with blood mages. Yeah, best to stop that crazy ship before it left port.

Angry tears fell traitorously from her sapphire eyes as she scanned the Templars for one in particular. "Knight-Captain, do you have news on my sister? Is she safe?"

The man nodded. "The dwarves did not reach her. A few somehow managed to enter the Circle, but they were killed before going very far. The rest," he indicated the small bodies littering the courtyard, "were lying in wait out here." Hawke sighed with relief.

"Thank you. If I'm not to be questioned I would very much like to return home and tell my Mother that Bethany is safe." Cullen inclined his head in allowance.

"Knight-Captain! I must protest heartily with allowing her to leave. They spoke of blood waking something or someone – blood magic, Ser!" Of course, it was the same Templar who'd questioned Hawke's knowledge of the attack.

"Enough! I am the Knight-Captain, not you, and I believe Miss Hawke when she says she has no understanding of these incidents." Chagrined, the outspoken Templar stepped behind Cullen in a show of deference. "You are free to leave. Goodnight, Serah."

"Goodnight." Hawke turned and headed back towards the dock with Varric. The ferry was still there, waiting to take them back, and Varric smirked at how money could so easily foster loyalty. Wearily, they climbed aboard and made themselves comfortable on a pile of sacks in the bow. "Varric, I think I'll stay with you tonight. I'm too tired to walk to Hightown and I'm pretty sure that you will be busy sorting all this out, but I don't want to be alone."

He pulled her against his chest and held her tenderly. "Of course, Beautiful. I'll send a message to your mother. You just get some rest and let me handle everything for you." Her lips moved across his skin, but he couldn't make out the words, they were uttered so quietly. He tilted his head closer to her mouth asking, "What was that, babe?"

Her small body trembled as she sucked in a wobbly breath and spoke a little louder. "If they're Carta we'll have to go back to the Deep Roads." He squeezed his golden eyes shut hoping it would stop the memories from flooding through his mind, but it didn't work. Varric slowly rocked the woman in his arms, trying to soothe her as much as himself.

"I know, Katya, I know," he whispered and his heart broke into a thousand pieces at the anguished sobs coming from his goddess.

* * *

By the time they returned to the Hanged Man, Hawke was nearly falling over with exhaustion. She almost face-planted walking through the doors, so Varric scooped her into his arms and carefully made his way to the stairs. Her feeble attempts to protest made him chuckle. He'd carried her before – he may be short, but he was strong and she was tiny enough that it wasn't awkward. Even if it had been more difficult he wouldn't have allowed his woman to walk through a pub of drunken men when she could barely stand. His mama didn't raise a fool – well, not two of them, anyway.

He noticed three of his men hanging outside his suite as he climbed the stairs. "Wait here until I call for you." They nodded as he crossed into his rooms, arms full of sleepy Hawke. Varric gently laid her down on his bed and began to unbuckle her weapons and armor from her small body. When she was clad in her smalls and under tunic he tucked the blankets around her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. With a sigh at the knowledge that he couldn't join her he turned and told his men to enter. They had work to do.

Varric took a seat at the head of his table as he took care of business. "Cian, take a message to Hawke's mother that she is safe and with me. Then I want you to talk Ilven in the Guild, you know the place, he should have the latest news from Orzammar. Rev, I want you to hit up our contacts in the docks. Pay them whatever they want – I want this info too much to be cheap. That leaves Darktown to you, Gaiven. Remember who to lean on for news, if we mess with the wrong people there, we'll have the Coterie on our asses and I don't have time for their games."

Once they were gone, the merchant prince walked over to the pile of papers on the far table, riffling through the mass of vellum to find any letters from Orzammar. Ancestors, he hated this formal, dry correspondence. Most of the time when he received missives from the thaig he was wont to bury them under his pages of his latest adventure or 'friend fiction' and pretend he never got them when the Guild came asking. Everyone knew he was lying, but what could they do? He was already an exile and he was busy running his own spy network – hell, most of the Guild owed him for favors anyway and they repaid him by giving him more leeway than they should have. It didn't mean that he got off scot free though, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

The only time he could recall the Guild and Orzammar having a coronary was over the news that he was in an openly committed relationship to a human. A dalliance was one thing, but dwarves were only allowed to commit to other dwarves. Varric never told Hawke about the visit he had with a prominent member of the Guild. He was an older dwarf, born and raised in Orzammar who came to trade on the surface out of necessity, a dwarf who understood duty and honor, something he was certain Varric didn't. When Terk angrily strode into his suite after their return from the Deep Roads Varric mentally sighed at the tongue lashing he was about to receive.

"Master Terk, please have a seat. Would you care for a drink?"

The older man snorted, glaring at the sight of Tethras heirlooms scattered about a dirty human hovel. He'd always known Varric would be a pain in the ass. "Orzammar received some disturbing news right after your expedition disappeared for three months." Varric kept his face impassive, forcing his body to maintain its relaxed stance. "I'm not sure if you were aware that your brother sent a missive regarding your relationship with your business partner. He was rather adamant that this…arrangement had progressed beyond the acceptable bounds of business with a human."

Varric leaned back thoughtfully adopting an unimpressed air. "And you believed it? As everyone in Kirkwall and Orzammar now knows Bartrand is crazy. Or did you forget that he abandoned his own duties to his family and business commitments?"

Terk shook with rage. "I would have left your ass behind, if it had been me! Any self-respecting dwarf would have done the same, if what your brother said is true. You have responsibilities, Varric, and you will fulfill them!"

"No, Terk, my brother had responsibilities and now I'm stuck cleaning up the mess he left behind. I'm the younger brother and as such, the duty required of me is less." He raised a gloved hand to silence the older man. "Yes, I intend to take over caring for my family, but I am the Head of the clan only in name."

Terk sneered. "Don't be naïve. It doesn't work that way, boy. Or have you forgotten how things played out with Endrin Aeducan's sons? Bhelen sits on the throne now and he's the youngest son."

"Who also married a casteless, did he not?" Varric smirked to see his guest sputter. "Bhelen is all for freeing the dwarves from centuries of tradition."

"Casteless is one thing – she's still a dwarf and her marriage makes any children they sire legitimate. Your…partner is human! Your clan has already been exiled and Bartrand was hoping this venture would bring honor back to your family, restore your standing in Orzammar, and allow you to return to your ancestral home! If you continue this relationship the Assembly could strip the Tethras clan from the Memories. Revoke the Paragon status of your ancestor!"

Varric jumped up and slammed his hands on the table. "Let them! I don't give a damn about Orzammar! I was born up here and I will die up here. The Deep Roads only furthered my desire to never live underground and after everything Hawke and I faced down there I'll be damned if anyone tells me I can't love a human!" Terk stumbled back at his outburst. He had come here hoping to make the impetuous dwarf see reason, but now he wasn't sure he could.

"You don't mean that! You must still have some sense of honor and loyalty –"

"Not right now," Varric interrupted. "I've never really stressed over the idea of a perfect bloodline. That was Bartrand's worry for me, but there isn't an overabundance of dwarven women here or many that are willing to come topside. I probably would have given in to the pressure to marry one of them in a couple of years to please the family, but not after meeting Hawke." He turned his golden eyes to meet the mossy green of his guest. "There was never a chance of marrying anyone after spending three months trapped in tunnels with her, worrying if today would be the day we died at the hands of the darkspawn or of thirst."

Slowly, the older dwarf nodded. He had to admit that Varric made a good point. Terk only knew of life in Orzammar, as most dwarves did, but Varric was one of few to traverse the Deep Roads and survive. The Legion willingly battled the darkspawn to the death so they could restore honor to their families, but a merchant's treasure hunt wasn't the same thing. The only way they could be successful was to survive and by the haunted look on Varric's face there had obviously been times when he hadn't expected them to make it.

Regret filled Terk's words. "Alright, Varric, I will pass along your message to Orzammar. They might not pursue this matter again, but this slap in the face will never be forgotten by the nobles."

Varric's expression was one of grim determination when he spoke again. "I know that and I'm serious about not giving a shit. If they screw with Hawke or me…" He trailed off and Terk nodded tersely at the threat before stalking out of his suite to pen the unhappy news to the thaig.

Shaking his head sadly at the memory, he skimmed through the letters in his hands. Nope, all trivial, bureaucratic nonsense. Who cared about golems anyway? No matter how many they made they would always be outnumbered by the darkspawn. The dwarven way of life underground was nearing an end and he was sad that so few of them understood that. Tossing the letters in the fire he laid his arm across the wall and rested his head on his leather duster.

The only thing he knew for certain right now was that after three years of trying to forget about those months underground, he and Hawke would have to return and face their demons. Demons that were actually tainted creatures who spread death and pestilence and turned lovely female humans into bloated monstrosities. Varric shivered involuntarily, breathing shallowly in and out of his mouth, as flashes of that horrible day when Hawke was at the mercy of the darkspawn flicked across his mind.

"Ancestors, please hear me. If you care about me at all…don't let anything happen to her. Take me instead, but not her." He let the tears fall then, not caring that they stained his beloved duster in the dim light of his suite.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **Legacy DLC banter and characters belong to BioWare. *cue the schmexy dwarf*

* * *

A week later the companions were gathered around Varric's stone table working on the specifics of who would be going or staying behind. Varric's contacts had finally come through with some decent intel. They knew where the Carta were hiding and were fine tuning their second expedition into the Deep Roads.

"Alright, Aveline, you need to stay here and oversee Mother's protection. I doubt they will attack her since she's an Amell, but they might try to lure me out using her." The guard-captain nodded at the logic. "Which means, Fenris, that we will need your help again." Hawke couldn't look at the elf with the guilt eating at her.

"You have my blade, Hawke." She briefly glanced at him and gave a wan smile, hoping it was enough to convey her thanks, as her throat closed painfully.

"Thanks, Broody," Varric clapped him on the shoulder and Fenris winced. "And we'll need your help again, too, Blondie." The dwarf rushed through his reasoning before the mage could interrupt. "You can sense the darkspawn, we need a healer, and you're an experienced Deep Roads traveler…" he held out his large hands pleading him to understand.

"I'm getting too old for this," Anders wearily sighed.

Varric gave a sad chuckle. "Aren't we all? So, are you in?" Anders closed his eyes and nodded. Hawke stepped behind his chair to squeeze his shoulder. He startled, opening his eyes to look at the woman, with her too bright eyes and trembling lips and it dawned on him. He was going as a friend, too – as someone who had already witnessed Hawke's breakdown and saved her from living a nightmare. She needed her support team.

The dwarf watched the exchange without comment. Turning to Merrill, he spoke, "And you, Daisy, just try not to get lost in the city while we're gone, ok?" She nodded shyly.

"I could go with you, Hawke. You might need another hand, or at least another archer to watch your back." Sebastian's offer came as a surprise to most everyone.

"I think it's a good idea," Aveline mused. "He's right, you could use another hand. Or you could take Merrill – the extra magic might come in handy." The small elf perked up like her namesake after a gentle rain.

"Oh, yes, I could help, Hawke!"

"NO! No women!" Hawke's frantic screech silenced everyone. Varric quickly stood as he placed his hand at her elbow.

"It's okay, Beautiful. Just you, me, Blondie and Broody. Possibly Choir Boy, but no more women." Aveline took in the scene, her brow furrowed, and then she turned her wrath on Anders.

"What is the meaning of this?" Anders was staring at the carved table top while Fenris fidgeted across the way. "Fenris? What the hell is going on?"

Sebastian watched the two men curiously before turning his attention to the dwarf. "Varric? Would you care to explain Hawke's outburst?" Varric leaned his forehead against Hawke's arm and sighed.

A rusty voice that no one recognized filled the silence. "Tell them, Varric." He stared into the hollow eyes of the woman he loved and with a sinking sensation he agreed. He steered her to the table and he was surprised that she chose to sit on the floor with her auburn head in his lap instead of sitting in a chair. Tenderly, he ran his short, thick fingers through her luxurious hair as he recounted the horror story from the previous expedition. When he was finished he felt like he'd aged a hundred years and the shocked expressions of their companions' spoke of similar feelings. Hawke was sniffling quietly in his lap and all he wanted to do was take her to bed and hold her.

"Oh, lethellan…I'm so sorry." Merrill's face was streaked with tears which she quickly hid in her hands as she continued to cry softly. Aveline was in shock and couldn't seem to form words as she sat and replayed the images Varric painted in her mind. Maker, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to sleep again.

Sebastian's mouth was moving in silent prayer as large blue eyes reflected the sense of horror that everyone felt. The prince's voice cracked when he finally broke the silence. "Hawke, Varric, I would like to come with you. You will need someone else to help with watch rotations and such. Please, allow me to accompany you." Infinitesimally, Hawke's head moved in the affirmative against her lover's thigh.

Varric nodded curtly. "Fine, but no heroics, Choir Boy. We work as a team, especially where we're going." Sebastian gave a short bow in acknowledgment. He was the one who didn't know what to expect underground and he would be a team player to ensure that everyone made it home safely.

Isabella took that moment to walk in, hands on her hips. "Why do I never get invited to the fun parties?"

Varric gave her a tight smile. "We're deciding who is going with us to the Deep Roads. You're staying here to further pickle your liver, my dashing pirate." The dusky woman grinned cheekily.

"Oh, Varric, you always know what to say to make my day." Blowing them a collective kiss she turned and yelled to Corff to have her whiskey ready.

"She's…something, isn't she?" Sebastian's bewildered statement was enough to coax a giggle or two from the crowd. Still shaking his head, the prince said his goodbyes, promising to be ready for departure in the next couple of days. The rest of the companions followed his example; the mood dampened for the evening.

Once their guests were gone, the couple fell into bed with soft kisses and the barest of touches, only seeking comfort in the darkness until their eyelids became too heavy to fight and they allowed themselves to be dragged into sleep.

* * *

Two days later the subdued quintet exited the city as the horizon was blossoming with pale pink and orange. According to Varric's contacts the Carta had been tracked to the barren side of the Vimmark Mountains. Hawke hadn't even known there was a "barren" part of the mountains, but they were on their way there, nonetheless. It took them a day and a half to cross to the side of the majestic peaks they wanted. Hawke made sure they took advantage of the game as they trekked and all the extra meat was magically preserved so it could be added to their full rations. Everyone from the first expedition had agreed that deepstalker would be off their menu unless absolutely necessary. Sebastian had readily agreed when Fenris filled him on the flavor of the creatures.

By the middle of the afternoon it didn't even feel like they were in the mountains anymore. It was a wasteland of dirt and crumbling cliffs. Hawke could barely make out the outline of a man-made structure in the distance. "Well, there it is."

Hawke turned to Varric. "That's where your dwarves are?"

"These are Carta dwarves, so they're more criminals and smugglers than anything else. They're not usually stupid though. I don't know why they'd attack you. That's what doesn't make sense about this whole mess."

She shaded her eyes trying to make out more of the shapes in the distance. "That's what we're here to find out."

Varric rubbed the back of his neck with his hand uncertainly. "I found their hideout, but my sources couldn't tell me anything else. It's all very…strange."

Hawke smirked at the dwarf. "Oh, I'm sure this all a misunderstanding. Later we'll all have tea and we'll laugh." She could hear the quiet snickering of her team behind her. Varric grinned and played along.

"Oh, your name is Hawke? I thought it was Locke!" It always made the dwarf feel better when Hawke joked around before running into life threatening situations – which was all the time, well, the situations, anyway.

With a smile in his deep brogue the prince encouraged them to keep moving. As they continued down the path they came across a Merchant's Guild cart that had been overturned, goods scattered across the sand, and the bodies of the Guild members left to rot in the sun. Passing by the wreckage Hawke shook her head thoughtfully. "I suppose we should take that as a warning."

"They're from the Merchant's Guild…The Carta doesn't kill Guild members! That's really strange."

Fenris shot the dwarf an appraising glance. "The more you say that, the more convinced I become that we should just rain fire on this accursed place and leave." Anders nodded emphatically as they trooped through the desert. Hawke would stop and examine random crates along the way, hoping to find something to explain the Carta's actions or at least, more health potions. Her team could always use more of those. A scurry of feet on the path above them alerted the group to the runners stationed among the rocks. "They'll alert others to our presence," growled Fenris.

She sighed inwardly. There was nothing they could do about it now. Obviously, they had been expecting her arrival. They closed the distance to the runner in time to hear him yell through the chasm. "It's the Hawke!" Squaring her shoulders for the inevitable, Hawke continued to lead her men and settled her features into an unreadable mask. She could see their leader waiting for them just past the stairs.

"You – you've come!" He was the same as the ones from Kirkwall. Covered in dust, with dry, cracked lips, and the same milky eyes – these were not regular Carta and it frightened her. Varric's stiff posture told her that he, too, was unnerved by this whole mess. The leader called out through the desert, "Everyone! It's the child of Malcolm Hawke. She's come to us!"

"What does my father have to do with this?" Hawke was getting angry. Everything these dwarves said just led to more questions, instead of answers. And now this? Her father couldn't have been involved in blood magic…could he?

"It began with him and ends with you," he cryptically replied. Sebastian's armor creaked ever so slightly as he shifted his stance, in case of a fight, while Fenris huffed softly in annoyance. Good to know she wasn't the only one losing her patience. "Blood for blood, that's what we were told. You've come to us now and that's the only thing that matters."

Raising her voice in aggravation, Hawke replied. "I came here to find out why the Carta has attacked me!"

"For the blood! We must have it!" Varric muttered an oath beside her, his fingers twitching to pull Bianca's trigger. "We will take it! Corypheus will walk in the sun once more!" Two of the Carta flanking the leader reached for their daggers and advanced on the team, but Varric and Sebastian had them on the ground before she could even unsheathe her own blades. Anders released the charged fireball on a small group of archers that suddenly appeared in the fighting ring below them to buy everyone time to strategize.

"Sebastian, Varric, watch our backs! Anders, defensive and healing magic from a distance!" With that, Hawke and Fenris rushed into the ring, blades flashing dangerously in the sun. The elf slammed his massive sword upon a contingent barreling down on them, sending a couple of them reeling. Hawke backstabbed one before he was on his feet and flitted into another direction. She felt the ghost of magic slide over her shoulder and glancing to her left she saw a dwarf encased in ice, frozen in the act of flanking her. Her twin fangs shattered the figure and she told herself to thank Anders later.

Stealthing across the field to Fenris' side she began slashing at a particularly resilient Carta member. One of the dwarves blades managed to get past them, sliding through her leathers like butter and slamming into her side. "Ahhhh!" Fenris' eyes widened to see the dwarf's blade dripping with her blood, so with a cry of his own the elf's tattoos lit up and he rammed his spiked fist through the dwarf's chest, satisfied when the small body collapsed into the sand.

Anders and Varric reached her at the same time. Even with his shaky hands and stubby fingers, Varric quickly unbuckled her leather chest piece and tossed it aside so the mage would have more room to work. There was quite a bit of blood and it worried Anders to see how hard she struggled to breathe. Sebastian's face was flooded with color to see Hawke kneeling in only her breast band, surrounded by her men, even if one of them was a healer and the other her lover. He quickly turned his face away and whispered prayers to Andraste for forgiveness – forgiveness for the many things he would never say aloud.

Hawke sighed in relief at the first wash of cool healing magic as Anders searched the wound internally and began to knit her shredded muscles, veins, and flesh together. Varric was pleased to see the color returning to her face as the mage worked. "There, good as new." Anders sat back, brushing the back of his hand across his forehead from the strain. She glanced down and didn't even see a scar.

"Thank you. And again for freezing the other dwarf." Her smile was infectious and had all three men standing by, smiling in return. Hawke turned to Fenris, but he shook his head softly, so she simply nodded her appreciation instead. "Where's Sebastian?" She glanced around quickly trying to locate her missing companion.

The prince gave a weary sigh far behind them. "I'm over here, Hawke. Don't worry, I'm fine, I just…do you think you could put your armor back on?" Her eyes widened and she looked down at herself sitting half-naked in the middle of a semi-circle surrounded by her closest friends, who happened to be men, and burst out laughing. Varric and Fenris joined in, while Anders tried to hide his smile from Sebastian. "Oh, for the love of the Maker! Hawke, have mercy on me!" Still laughing she pointed in the direction of her leathers and Anders handed them to her.

As she clasped the last buckle she walked up to the Chantry brother. "Better?" He turned to face her with a pained expression, but nodded in relief to see her smooth, creamy skin once again hidden from view. "Good, let's get moving. I have a feeling there are more Carta members with a death wish up ahead."

As they passed through the large gate and into a second defense ring with an angry bronto bearing down on them, Hawke smiled to herself at her own clairvoyance. She and Fenris cut down the large beast while their long-range support whittled down the archers firing from the guard towers. Splitting up, Fenris and Sebastian took to the ramparts on one side of the ring and the other three ran up the opposite side to take care of the dwarves stationed there.

"Clearly these dwarves are insane. Perhaps even more so than Varric!" The dwarf rolled his eyes at the elf's comment as Bianca took out a Carta member.

"I heard that! The Carta doesn't normally act like this. They're business people," Varric said defensively.

When all their enemies were dead a glinting pillar behind them caught Varric's eye. He'd once joked to Blondie that dwarves were drawn to shiny objects, but there was more truth in that statement than Anders knew. He made his way to the brass sign and read the words stamped into the metal. His stomach was coiled in knots when he finished. The rest of the team finally made their way to him after looting bodies and crates.

"Not good news, I take it," asked Anders. Varric only shook his head.

"No, it's not, but it does say something interesting. 'Amgeforn' means sacrifice in dwarven and according to this, it was the sworn duty of a member of the warrior caste to stand guard and keep something called 'Malvernis' trapped here."

"A dwarven prison?" Fenris scowled in contemplation.

"Dwarves don't do prisons. This is a trash heap. They threw something away here and hoped it wouldn't come back."

Sebastian squinted in the opposite direction. "I think there's another one over there, Varric." The dwarf nodded and led the group to the other side of the ring where another brass tablet awaited translation.

Varric mumbled oaths under his breath before turning his golden eyes to his lover. "This is not what we were expecting to find here, Hawke. I'm sorry." The others pressed him for more information, but he only shook his head. The words 'chained in lyrium stained with the blood of a hundred warriors' echoed in his mind and he never intended to tell anyone. He only hoped that the ancestors would heed his prayer to take him instead if it came to that. Using the key to open the gate she'd found, Hawke pushed it open and led her subdued team down a small path.

Everyone came to abrupt halt when they saw the final pillar. Varric huffed and wandered over to read it. He waved a hand when he was done. "It just says the same thing – protect the Stone, sacrifice, yada yada." He turned and tried to make a clean get away.

"Protect the Stone from what, Varric?" He cringed at Hawke's words and desperately tried to come up with something less ominous to say, but there wasn't anything and he knew it.

Facing his companions Varric spoke quietly, but his words still echoed off the stone. "From Malvernis, The Pestilent One – devourer of thaigs, bringer of death, and poison." His friends stared, wide-eyed and slack jawed at the information, but his focus was on Hawke as she nervously swallowed, trembling slightly in anxiety.

"Well, shit," she breathed.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the delay guys. I've been swamped at work, but inventory is finally finished and I will have more free time again! Hope you find this chapter worth the wait!


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **BioWare owns all things Dragon Age. All recognizable characters and dialogue are theirs. Butchered plot bunny belongs to me.

* * *

Continuing along the path Hawke gave a sad sigh. "Someday I'll visit a place with no ancient evils, horrors, devouring plagues, or insanity. Maybe a beach." Varric chuckled wearily.

"The day you go to the beach is the day an armada of angry demon pirates show up. Sorry, babe, but you attract danger." She smiled wistfully.

"Oh, well, it was just a thought anyway." The group continued in silence for a while until the shapes in the distance took form and left them all in awe. "There it is."

Fenris shifted suspiciously. "A fortress? Out here?" Varric felt the cold touch of fear icing his blood. Broody was right – this shouldn't be here. There shouldn't even be a here! His Carta contacts who gave him the information on where to look for these mad dwarves told him this place was invisible and they were right. When Varric had tried to locate this part of the mountain range on a map it was nowhere to be found. This was getting weirder by the minute and it was making Bianca twitchy.

Readjusting their packs the team resumed their march towards the looming structure. Hawke knew everyone was tired, but she wanted to reach the safety of the building before they set camp. If they stopped outside of the gates it was almost a guarantee that the Carta would descend on them overnight and they had proven hard to take down. It wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

A few hours later, as the sun was beginning to set, the quintet finally passed through the gates of the fortress. Everyone was on high alert, despite their weariness, as they walked into the Carta's territory. As they came to a stairwell Varric held up a hand.

"Trap," he whispered. Together, he and Hawke disarmed the exploding tiles, and gave the all clear. Silently, the group reached for their weapons as they crossed the final steps down into an open portion of the fortress. There were doors along the left side that led inside the building and they could see a couple of empty bronto pens. Dead ahead was another locked gate leading deeper into the fortress.

Even before the last team members stepped off the stairs, a raging bronto flew around the corner, intent on squishing everyone in its path. Anders cast a paralyzing rune, but it was unphased and continued with its charge. Rolling out of the way, Hawke hopped up behind it and sank both of her blades into its thick hide, barely avoiding the massive back hooves as the beast bucked in self-defense. The ground trembled underneath her feet and she glanced over her shoulder to see a second bronto charging their way.

Dropping into stealth she cried, "Here they come!" No sooner had the words fallen from her lips than the door by the bronto cages was thrown open and a wave of crazed Carta members rushed the group. Anders rained fire on the dwarves, which took out some of the weaker ones, but there were still plenty to deal with on top of the two large beasts that Fenris was trying to hack down alone. Dashing to the elf's side Hawke focused her strikes instead of hitting blindly, hoping that she would have a better chance of making a critical hit. Fenris had already done most of the work so the first one fell quickly under her assault, but the second one was much tougher and he had the scarred hide to prove his mettle in battle. Anders cast a healing spell on the warrior, who had turned a worrisome shade of gray, and Hawke re-doubled her efforts to support her friend.

The muscles in her arms were burning with the constant strain and she knew everyone must be ready to drop from exhaustion. She could hear the crack of Bianca's relentless assault and the soft _whomp_ of Sebastian's longbow as they did their best to weaken their assailants. Anders was whispering words as he cast the few defensive spells he knew, in between healing and rejuvenating the rest of them, but Hawke heard the raw edge of his voice as his mana pool dipped dangerously low.

The bronto in front of them was finally weakening from loss of blood and Fenris took the chance to slice into its neck with all his strength to sever the artery. With a dying gurgle the beast lost its will to fight and sank into the blood soaked dirt. Hawke nearly cried in relief, but it quickly turned to anguish as another wave of dwarves swarmed them. Anders gulped a lyrium potion beside her so he would have enough strength to continue and Fenris quickly unscrewed a restoration potion.

Varric rained bolts from the sky to slow the Carta's progress and the elf used their loss of momentum to swing his blade in a deadly circle, taking half of them down in the process. The arrows took care of those who couldn't get back up and Hawke leapt into the fray with the last of her reserve energy, backstabbing and twirling her daggers in a dance of death against anyone who stood in her way. When the last dwarf fell, she collapsed among the bodies that littered the ground, panting from exertion and trying to ignore the stabbing pain from her overtaxed muscles. She caught Varric's eye as he leaned heavily against a stone pillar and gave a weak thumbs up. He returned the gesture with a tiny salute before sliding into the dirt.

Raking her eyes across the battlefield she took in the carnage. Two huge brontos and somewhere between twenty and thirty Carta were scattered across the ground like broken toys. Sitting up with a grimace at the needle jabs in her musculature, Hawke found Anders huddled in a corner of the stairwell eyes wide from too much lyrium, while Sebastian was sitting on one of the stairs sending prayers to the Maker, and Fenris was sprawled out on the dirt trying not to move. The elf caught her looking at him and turned his face enough to say, "You take me to strange places, Hawke."

She grinned and nodded weakly. "It's a gift."

Varric chuckled, "Maybe you should return it." Breathy laughter followed the quip as they sat among the dead.

With a creak of his armor Sebastian stood and indicated the door nearest them. "We should probably settle in for the night in there, instead of setting up tents in the open." Hawke nodded at his logic – she'd been thinking the same thing, but she hadn't found the energy yet to stand. In a few quick strides the prince was standing next to her, hand outstretched to pull her to her feet. She took it and gasped at the pain of her muscles protesting the movement as she unsteadily stood. Casting a questioning glace at Varric, Sebastian reached under her knees and lifted gently to carry her inside. Hawke instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck for support and gave her lover an apologetic look, but he merely waved off her concerns.

The archer gingerly placed her on one of the cots that were already set up in the room and with a disarming smile he left to fetch their packs. By the time the rest of her men were able to drag themselves inside the sun had already set and Hawke was curled up under a blanket half-asleep. The men began to whisper assuming she couldn't hear them.

"I have to be honest, this doesn't look like it's going to be easy. These Carta are incredibly resilient and their insanity makes them even more so." Anders looked exhausted, but he sounded even worse. Hawke watched them through her long lashes, glad her face was mostly in shadow, so she could observe without being caught.

Varric ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. "This Malvernis or whatever sounds like a darkspawn. I mean, what else would the ancient dwarves have encountered in the Deep Roads?" Anders nodded thoughtfully.

"It would make sense." The men stared at him questioningly and the mage continued. "I ran across a very powerful darkspawn in Amaranthine while I was a Warden. He was capable of intelligent speech, logical thought and reasoning, and he was also a powerful emissary." Fenris growled at the idea that this talking darkspawn was a mage.

"The Warden-Commander agreed to help the Architect destroy one of his failed…experiments. He was trying to find a way to free darkspawn from the call of the old gods to end the Blights, but we didn't find out until later as we were about to face the Mother – his, uh, creation – that the Architect's attempts to free the darkspawn had actually caused the Fifth Blight."

"So, the Commander didn't allow this…monstrosity to live, did she?" Sebastian was quaking in righteous indignation and he could only gasp at Anders' tired nod.

"We needed his help to destroy the Mother and her corrupted 'children.' I don't know what happened to the Architect because I left the Wardens not long after. But from what I can gather from the Carta and the pillars that you translated, it sounds like another powerful darkspawn to me." The blond cast a quick glance in her direction, but he seemed satisfied that she was sleeping. "I don't know why it wants Hawke's blood, but we need to destroy it and it won't be an easy fight."

Varric reached out to grab a cot and steady his shaking frame. Why did it always have to be darkspawn and Deep Roads? Mercenaries, gangs, hell, even the Qunari, he knew they could handle with their hands tied behind their backs – but when it came to traversing the Deep Roads they were all out of their element. Ancestors take the bloody magisters! He wasn't sure if he believed what the Chantry said about the ancient Tevinters being responsible for the darkspawn, but he was going to blame them anyway! Fenris seemed to be thinking the same thing as he swore in Arcanum.

"I'll take the first watch. I need time to pray," said Sebastian. The prince looked at his tired companions, "And you should rest." They nodded in agreement, each of them finding a cot and immediately falling into the deep sleep of the bone weary. Once the archer stepped outside for his watch, Hawke stared into the darkness as waves of fear crashed into her soul. She wasn't even aware she was whimpering until Anders stood over her and shushed her before sending her into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning Hawke woke up to the sun slipping through the cracked shutters on the tiny window and sighed in relief. She wasn't underground yet and she intended to enjoy the touch of light upon her skin. Sitting up she saw Sebastian, Varric, and Anders asleep in the room with her which meant Fenris was on watch duty. Grabbing some of their rations she tiptoed past her sleeping companions and waved at the elf.

He gave a soft smile as she approached with a water skin and dried rabbit. "You look rested, Hawke. How are your muscles feeling?" He nodded his thanks as he drank and waited for her response.

"Actually, they don't hurt. I'm pretty sure that is Anders doing." The elf quirked an eyebrow at her and she laughed softly. "He heard me having a nightmare and sent me into a dreamless sleep. He must have added a healing spell, too." She hoped he wouldn't see through her lie and by the way he shuffled his feet she was sure he didn't. Hawke felt a little twinge of guilt for lying to her friend, but she didn't want him to know she'd eavesdropped on their conversation when they had only been trying to protect her.

"Well, that is good then." She wanted to ask how he was feeling, but she knew he was too private to divulge such information. They stood together in comfortable silence and watched the sun continue its rise over the horizon. Out of the corner of her eye, Hawke could see Fenris watching her, but she didn't comment on it.

With a sad smile Hawke broke the silence. "I should wake the others so we can eat and get a move on." He nodded slowly, mouth open as if to speak, and then shook his head softly and walked away. Hawke turned and re-entered the room to wake her companions. Quickly everyone ate and checked their supplies before heading out.

Varric was studying the gate lock with a scowl. "We'll need a key to open this bad boy." Spotting a set of stairs to their right the dwarf led the way down and around the corridor. At the edge they could see a tower of human design, obviously quite old, jutting into the sky not far in the distance. There were four stone griffons with golden light spiraling from their mouths into the center of the tower.

Anders sucked in a breath, "It's a seal." A collective shudder passed through the team at the mage's words. Fenris spotted the small room tucked in the corner and walked in yelling that he'd found a chest. Hawke entered and gave him a large smile as he held up a key that would most likely unlock the gate barring their way. Buried under a pile of sand was a battered leather journal, ancient and barely legible, but she opened it and winced to hear the binding crack. According to the report the fortress once belonged to the Grey Wardens, further supporting Anders' theory from last night, and apparently went deep underground, yet was abandoned after the Free Marches were freed from Tevinter rule. Nearly nine hundred years this tower had lain undisturbed and now whatever was locked up inside wanted her blood. The book fell from her numb fingers with a dull thud and she scrambled out of the room.

Varric caught her by the arm as she tried to brush past the others. Tears fell from her sapphire eyes as she looked at her lover. "Oh, Beautiful, I know how hard this is. I'm scared, too," he whispered. At his admission she sank to her knees and allowed him to cradle her against his chest as she dampened his chest with her quiet tears. Anders and Sebastian awkwardly stepped around the couple and into the small room with Fenris to give them privacy. When her tears were spent, she gave a stuttering breath as she regained her composure, and leaned back.

"I heard Anders talking last night and I believe he's right. I found a journal in there that confirms that this is a Grey Warden construction…and it mentioned that some of the men heard voices in the depths of that tower." Varric frowned at the information. It only reinforced his fears about this trip into the Deep Roads, but he knew that if they didn't face whatever was waiting for them the Carta would only continue to harass Hawke's family.

He gave her a tight smile in an effort to be reassuring. She stared at him expressionless. "Stop, Varric. You can't make this better with platitudes or fake smiles. I know what you are trying to do and I appreciate it, but I'm too much of a realist to be fooled."

Her words felt like a dagger in his ribs and he couldn't refrain from gasping in shock. "Katya, no…don't think like that! Nothing is going to happen to you." His large hands grabbed her shoulders and he shook her slightly to shake some sense into her stubborn, beautiful head. "Nothing is going to happen to you," he repeated, "I won't allow it." His terror stricken face struck a chord in Hawke and she choked back the sob in her throat at his sincerity.

"Okay, Varric. I believe you." He threw his arms around her in a bone-crushing hug that was more desperate than loving and cried silently into her thick, auburn tresses. Hawke swore to herself as he washed her hair in tears of relief that she would not allow him to take her place. If death was the only way to end this nightmare, than she would be the one to make the sacrifice.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: **I do not claim any characters or dialogue as my own. BioWare owns all.

* * *

Picking herself off the ground with what dignity she could muster, Hawke led the team back towards the stairs, where a small group of Carta awaited them. "Where do they come from? They're like ants, always showing up to the picnics uninvited and making pests of themselves." The men chuckled as they reached for their weapons. After a decent night's sleep and full bellies they made short work of the would-be ambush.

Returning to the gate Varric unlocked it and led the way down another set of stairs. "Trap," he called out just as an arrow whizzed past his head. Two snipers stood in the small space with arrows already notched and ready to fly. Hawke had other ideas.

"Oh, no you don't!" Springing over the rigged tiles like an acrobat she landed in front of the surprised dwarves and assassinated one immediately. She twirled behind the second to backstab him, but she had to abandon the plan at the whistle of ruptured air to her left. By this time, Varric had disarmed the trap and Fenris was bearing down on the archer that had loosed his arrow behind her. Hawke didn't even have time to warn the warrior about the second trap before metal spikes sprang from the ground and impaled the elf on their tips. When the pikes sank back into hiding Fenris was sprawled across the ground as his life blood escaped his small body.

"Hang on, Fenris!" Anders healed the elf, but the warrior was still too weak to fight, instead he rolled out of the way and tried to regain his strength. Bianca's song was ringing against the stones sending her deadly bolts towards the archer that Fenris had sighted. Hawke cried out in rage as she buried her daggers into the other sniper's stomach, her own gut twisting in revulsion at the milky gaze of the dwarf stuck on her blades. Yanking them out she turned and ran towards a second set of stairs, leaping over another trap, where she finally cornered an overseer.

She heard Varric's nimble fingers disarming the trap on the stairs, allowing the others to follow her and help in dealing with those that were left. Anders used one of his favorite lightening spells, which gave Hawke a quick breather as the chain lightening moved through each of the dwarves. A few well-placed arrows from her archers and the small contingent was dead. Anders ran back to the elf and forced an elfroot potion to his lips so his blood could more quickly replenish itself.

When Hawke and Varric were finished looting the bodies Fenris was ready to go to battle again. Casting a final, wistful look at the sun shining in the sky, Hawke squared her shoulders and led her men into the Carta's hideout underground. The cool, damp smell of soil was strong and the intensity of the memories that followed were almost too much for her. _Maker, how am I going to do this again?_ Opening her mouth she sucked in shallow breaths, ignoring the tang of dirt that flitted across her tongue, and focused her thoughts on the present.

Dwarf, elf, and mage cast surreptitious glances at each other. Sebastian, too, was watching Hawke's reaction closely. No one said a word about the pause and acted as though nothing transpired when their leader was able to move forward after a few seconds. After rounding a stack of crates the team dispatched the handful of Carta that attempted to sneak attack them.

As they searched the small storage room, Varric decided to break the tension. "You, elf, are one lucky son-of-a-bitch." He grinned broadly at the warrior, who smirked in return.

"Is this about the diamondback game? Again?"

Varric guffawed. "I've never seen anyone bluff like that in my life! I was sure you had a handful of nothing."

Fenris chuckled. "So was I," he replied. He jabbed the dwarf in the arm. "You're the one that pointed out I had four serpents."

"See? Luckiest bastard I've ever seen." Hawke joined in their laughter, while Sebastian frowned in disapproval and Anders muttered something indistinct. The search of the room had gone well – turning up an injury potion and some coin. Heading deeper into the hideout Anders found a note lying on a table and read it aloud.

"_You will find Malcolm Hawke's heir in Hightown. By the grand stairs to the Keep. The home will be well-defended, but do not spill Hawke's blood. Use the poison if capture proves difficult. If you have to kill anyone else, do it quietly. _

_And don't go near the dwarf. He sees things. _

—_In the name of the Master, Corypheus. May he see sunlight again."_

"Well, well, Varric, seems you are famous even underground." Hawke's attempt at humor fell flat, but she shrugged off the stares from her men. If she didn't try to make light of what she was tangled up in she'd surely go mad.

Anders ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Dwarves don't need blood magic…it doesn't make sense…oh, shit…" The mage's eyes widened in realization and the note fluttered from his shaking fingers.

"We're all tingly with anticipation, Blondie. Mind cluing us in?" Varric crossed his arms and worked his jaw back and forth in anxiety. Anders gave Hawke an unfathomable look and Varric huffed. "Don't worry about it. She heard you talking last night. Now, spit it out!"

Swallowing hard he continued. "The Architect needed the Warden's help because of our blood. He used Grey Warden blood in darkspawn to silence the call of the old gods. I'd forgotten until just now, so many of my memories have been subsumed by Justice, but it still doesn't explain why this Corypheus needs your blood. You're not a Warden. However, it does confirm that this is a powerful darkspawn, probably similar to the Architect."

Hawke chuckled weakly as she braced her tiny frame against the table. "I'm sure with a name like that he's bound to go 'Muahahaha,' don't you think?"

"Hawke, I don't think this is the time to be making jokes –" The rogue spun around and snarled at the prince.

"This is the perfect time, Sebastian. This is my life hanging in the balance right now and if I want to make jokes about it to keep me from screaming and rocking in a corner like a madwoman - I will damn well do so!" The archer put up his hands in surrender, blue eyes wide as saucers, at her outburst. The other three men just watched silently and waited for the storm to pass. Still staring the dissenter down, she growled. "Let's go."

As the quintet neared the next stairwell, Hawke held up her hand to stay them. Dropping into stealth, she moved to the shadows to scope out their targets. Three dwarves were huddled on the ground gutting a bronto, but her main concern was the large number of archers on the balcony. Past the ground level room she could see a staircase that must lead to the archers above. If they could take out a majority of the long-range dwarves her team might be able to make it out alive. Clinging to the darkness she circled back around to her men and pulled them a short distance away to strategize.

"Three on the ground, but eight or ten archers have the high ground. The only way to reach them is up a staircase that is at the back of the ground level. Anders, I need you to rain fire on the archers. Blind them enough that Varric and Sebastian can get some decent shots without being hit. Fenris, we hit those on the ground fast and hard, and then head upstairs. After that, everyone needs to worry about making every attack count." Her men nodded solemnly and she could see each one playing out their roles in their minds.

On silent feet the team crept forward and at their fearless leader's signal they fell upon their unsuspecting enemies. "You messed with the wrong mage!" Hawke grinned fiendishly at the war cry as she hacked and spun around the dwarves on the ground, while the archers above her broke formation as giant fire balls fell from the sky. Varric's laughter rang throughout the room as one of Bianca's bolts flew true.

"Come on, Hawke!" On quick feet the rogue followed the elf up the stairs and took advantage of the effects of Anders' spell to remove a couple of archers. _Whoosh!_ The force behind the arrow that grazed her shoulder threw Hawke off balance. She spun around to see a Master Sniper hiding behind the door with a second arrow notched and bowstring pulled taut. Time seemed to slow down and she didn't even have time to cry out before the dwarf exhaled, releasing the arrow that was aimed directly at her.

"Katya, move!" She heard her lover's desperate plea at the same time that a recognizable arrow flew from below and knocked the sniper's arrow off its trajectory. Ducking and rolling to the opposite side of the room, she glanced up to see the sniper writhing as powerful electricity coursed through his body until his head was removed from his shoulders by a massive broadsword.

Hawke stood and blew a kiss to Varric frozen in shock down below and gave a curt nod of thanks to Sebastian. She breezed out of the room, leaving the decision to loot the bodies up to Fenris. Right now she just needed to walk away. How many times was she destined to come close to death in the Deep Roads? The men followed her lead silently, recognizing her need for space.

Trudging upstairs Varric pointed out the locked doors to their left. Wordlessly he and Hawke split up to crack them open. The rogue lovers smirked in satisfaction at their findings. Each room was piled with coins and potions, but the biggest hoard was in the final room. Almost five sovereigns and the most health and injury potions they'd stumbled on. With a delighted squeal Hawke leaned down and kissed her dwarf tenderly on the cheek. His low laugh rumbled past her ear and sent delicious chills down her spine.

Fenris and Anders smiled indulgently to see Hawke's good mood return as Sebastian hovered in the background. The prince didn't travel with Hawke and her companions much and he'd just learned a vital lesson – their leader dealt with stress through humor or by murdering everything in her path. He decided that a jovial attitude was more ideal. Most definitely.

The group skirted the penned bronto, but still had to deal with some Carta members as they traveled into the next room. "Just die already," Hawke yelled as she reappeared behind one to stab him in the back. Once again, bodies littered the floor where she stood, but she pushed aside any guilt for them. They attacked her first - on her own territory. They deserved whatever they got.

Veering to the right Hawke stepped down into the depression where a couple of chests were just begging to be opened. As she walked past a table on her left she spotted another note and with a heavy heart she read the hasty scribbles. "A key tuned to my father's blood?" With a confused expression she passed the paper to Anders who was likely to understand more. He rubbed his hand across his eyes when he was finished.

"We're dealing with dark magics, Hawke. That's all I know for certain." She turned her back to him and opened the chest closest to the table. Only one thing was inside – a small green orb that seemed to swirl with an inner life. Varric whistled as she pulled it out and laid it on the table. He ran his gloved fingers gently across its glossy surface, but pulled them back quickly and looked at Hawke in surprise.

"It's warm to the touch!" She only nodded as she removed a spare bit of cloth from her pack and carefully swaddled the orb in the fabric before tucking it into the bottom of her bag.

"Does anyone hear drums?" The mage's words brought Varric up short. He'd read something about drumbeats…what was it? There wasn't much time to figure it out though, as he rushed to follow Hawke as she climbed out of the sunken room and headed deeper into the hideout.

Upon entering a large room a Carta dwarf came running at them. "The Hawke's blood! The Master will rise. He will be free!" Varric stopped in shock as he recognized the white-eyed madman.

"Gerav?"

"Varric! N-no one told me you would be part of this. We were just going after the Hawke."

Hawke jumped in, hoping to get some answers. "Why has the Carta been attacking me?"

Gerav couldn't meet her eyes. "I c-can't say! The Master must be free."

Heaving a sigh Varric resisted the urge to slap his palm across his face. "Really, Gerav? I thought better of you than this. I mean, gutting the occasional competitor for fun and profit, that's the game! But what are you all even doing here? Worshipping demons?"

"We drink the darkspawn blood," Gerav supplied. "He calls us!"

Anders sucked in a quick breath. Hawke glanced at the mage before asking, "Why would you do that? Wouldn't you just die?"

The other dwarf shuffled his feet. "It's the only way…to hear the music." The dreamy quality of his words unsettled Hawke and she could tell she wasn't alone. It didn't escape her notice that Anders was stroking his staff, his body poised for a fight, as he glared daggers at the Carta member.

Varric's nerves were already raw and on edge with this whole business. "Oh, come on, you nug-licker! Snap out of it! There's no gold in hallucinating!"

Hawke turned to her lover with one sculpted eyebrow raised. "Where are you manners, Varric? Introduce me to your lunatic friend."

Varric gave a weak grin as he formally introduced her to his one-time friend. "Hawke, this is Gerav – a greedy, brilliant, bastard, son-of-a-nug from the Carta. Gerav, this is Hawke – the one whose blood you want to drink or bathe in or whatever. But if you're after eternal youth, I gotta warn you, she's no virgin." Hawke could practically feel the heat from Sebastian's blush and she was sure that Fenris was most likely smothering a smile. Yes, he was a cheeky dwarf, all right.

"The Master is calling! He needs the blood!" Varric suppressed a groan as Gerav continued with his ominous rambling. Ancestors! Was there now way to reason with him?

"Gerav, buddy, this isn't like you." Thinking quickly he hoisted his crossbow over his shoulder and cradled her lovingly. "Look! I've still got Bianca - never misfired a day in her life. You don't want her to see her papa like this, do you?" His whiskey eyes begged his friend to see reason, to remember who he was before the 'Master' got to him, to leave these dark thoughts to rot in the Deep Roads.

"Varric," Hawke began, "do you want to spare this bastard?" Cocking Bianca he placed her smooth stock against his broad shoulder.

"Not if he's after you, Hawke. Bianca, I think it's time to say goodbye." Varric pulled the trigger only to find air as Gerav stealthed across the room to be joined by two other Carta. "Reinforcements! You bastard!"

Fenris and Hawke moved together to strike the apprentices that aided Gerav. Once the unprepared apprentices were taken care of, Hawke tried to focus her rogue senses in locating their leader. Gerav was a proficient shadow and he would disappear into the darkened corners of the room or use a decoy that would waste her warrior's precious energy. Anders released a charged fireball to flush him out and when he stumbled into the center of the room, rubbing at his ruined eyes, Hawke sent her dagger flying end over end to sink the blade into his chest. Moving towards the Carta dwarf she watched as his lips formed silent words of apology to his Master. Giving a sad shake of her head she plucked her dagger from his still form and looked at Varric with concern.

Varric knelt by Gerav's body, sorrow and bitterness lacing his words. "You poor, stupid bastard. I used to do business with the Carta, back in the day. Gerav was a nutcase then too, but in a good way. He was trying to create a new type of repeating-crossbow. Bianca was the only one that ever worked." He stood and began to walk away. "I can't believe he ended up like that."

Hawke softly laid her hand across his shoulder in unspoken apology. Varric took her hand and squeezed lightly, not bothering to hide the pain and confusion written on his face. He released her to walk slightly ahead of the group before plopping into a corner with a grunt. Wringing her hands uncertainly Hawke turned to their resident Grey Warden.

"What did Gerav mean about music and darkspawn blood? I thought men died from drinking their blood." Anders rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably and grimaced.

"I can't tell you everything because I was sworn to secrecy when I joined the Wardens."

Fenris interrupted with a growl. "That's hardly stopped you before, mage." Anders glared at the elf and crossed his arms.

"Look, if I could tell you everything I know, I would, but I don't think you would thank me for it. You're right though, most men do die from the taint, but there are some who survive…and then you can hear the call of the old gods." The mage's brown eyes implored her to understand what he was saying without forcing him to break his oath. "The same 'music' the darkspawn hear."

Hawke covered her mouth in horror and Sebastian unconsciously stepped away from the healer. "Oh, Maker, Anders…I-I don't…Sweet Andraste." With great effort she swallowed in an attempt to dislodge the lump in her throat. "Is that why you hate the Deep Roads? You can hear the call?"

"Yes," he breathed. "The closer we get to Corypheus the louder his voice is in my head. And drums – I've never heard drums underground before and it unnerves me." Varric had only been listening with half an ear until the mage mentioned the drums. It forced him out of his reverie and sent the wheels in his mind whirling at top speed. Had he heard it somewhere? No, he'd read it, but when and where? _Think, Varric, think! This is important._ In his memories there was a flash of light in the sun and his feet carried him to a brass pillar. He'd read the words with dread and tried to forget them, but there was no escaping them this time.

Pulling himself up as quickly as his short legs would allow he ran back to his team. "I know…why you hear…the drums, Blondie." He paused to suck in decent lungfuls of air before he continued. "On the pillars they told of the signs if the Pestilent One woke up – drums and the smell of death." Varric turned to Hawke and took her hands in his larger ones. "It's the orb – he's drawing you to him with it."


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **Characters belong to BioWare. Recognizable dialogue is not mine, either.

* * *

No one had time to speak as they rounded the corner into a large antechamber where more of the Carta dwarves waited for them. Hawke flew into a blind rage and translated her growing sense of horror and frustration at this situation into an acrobatic dance of death. Anyone that stood in her way was already doomed – they just didn't know it until it was too late. Soon, the only man alive was a Coterie mage hiding behind his protective shield and Hawke was bouncing on the balls of her feet, daggers twirling masterfully in her slender fingers, teasing the mage with his imminent demise. When his shield came down the men stood still and let her have the satisfaction of the kill. The mage didn't even have time to cry out before he crumpled to the ground.

Immediately, she began to loot the area for anything worthwhile. When she was finished she turned towards her men and they all recoiled ever so slightly at the mad glint in her eyes. Varric wanted to comfort her, but frankly he didn't know how. He was afraid that this trip down into darkness was going to break her and he wasn't sure he would be able to save her from her biggest enemy – herself.

Jerking her head towards the gate behind them Hawke indicated that they would continue towards their objective. They passed through to the other side and the iron bars slammed into the ground. A gravelly voice followed the deafening clang of metal, "Hawke, they told me you were going to be trouble." A heavily armored dwarf moved into the center of the large fighting ring they found themselves in. Glancing around quickly to assess the enemy's defenses showed that they were once again outnumbered. Archers stood in formation along the upper level and Hawke could see numerous trap mechanisms. It was also hard to ignore the snorting armored bronto standing beside the Carta leader.

"I swore to Corypheus I'd bring him Malcolm Hawke's blood – one way or another."

"So, it's Corypheus who's after me…not the Carta?" At this point Hawke was pretty sure who was in charge, but she was hoping to ferret more information from the dwarf. Her luck, it seemed was running out.

"What Corypheus wants, Corypheus gets. From us or from someone." The dwarf shrugged coldly.

Hawke scoffed. "Corypheus wants some blood? Sure, I'll just open up a vein or how about a kidney, too?" Varric clenched his fists at her flippant attitude and refrained from throwing her over his shoulder and running to the nearest escape route.

Her words were apparently the last straw for the leader. "Corypheus!" He yelled into the air. "We have done as you command! Your sacrifice is here – you will see the surface once more!" He pulled a massive axe from his back and the war-bronto reared up, shaking the ground when his hooves landed, and Varric's heart leapt into his throat. Deciding now was as good a time as any to try out a new strategy, Varric released a bursting arrow and watched smugly as the improved formula not only exploded, but veiled his allies in smoke. The sudden disappearance of his quarry enraged the bronto and he pawed at the ground, working into a frenzy, ready to charge as soon as they were visible once more.

Seeing their opportunity, everyone scattered on the battlefield. Hawke dashed to the crazed leader's side and knocked him back with a kick to prevent him from pulling one of the trap levers. She could hear Fenris' blade pinging against the bronto's armor and the snorts of pain when his sword found a weak spot. Focusing on her quarry, she slashed and kicked trying to keep the axe-wielding dwarf off balance enough that he couldn't hit her with his massive weapon.

Anders was using every defensive spell in the book to keep the archers distracted, while Varric was standing on the ramp leading towards them, praising Bianca with each successful shot. Sebastian aimed for any weak spot he could find and right now his main concern was the large animal that Fenris was in the process of tearing down. If he didn't help their warrior the prince was sure they would all die in this pit, surrounded by barking mad dwarves.

Hack, stab, parry, roll – this was Hawke's fighting style and normally it served her well, but she was facing a warrior with strength instead of Fenris' speed. He managed to plant his feet and with a cry threw all of his heavy dwarven weight behind the arc of his axe. She leapt out of the way, the blade so close to her leather armor she was certain the honed edge shaved a thin layer off of them. Hawke barely regained her footing before the leader was barreling down on her snarling and her blood ran cold. Red mist curled around the warrior – a stark contrast to the unnatural white of his eyes. A Berserker!

Dropping into stealth, she fled to one of the levers closest to them and pulled the stiff mechanism. A whirl of metal flashed through the floorboards squealing as the gears gyrated against each other after years of disuse. "Nice one, Hawke!" Anders grinned maliciously as the leader was caught unawares and thrown across the room when the circular blades tangled his feet. The mage froze the crazed dwarf before he could attempt to regain his footing and immediately followed the first spell with stone's fist to shatter him. Hawke broke stealth and sent a large smile his way as she ran to assist Fenris.

The elf was nearing his limit, his arms were shaking causing most of his blows to miss, even the reassuring _fomp_ of arrows burrowing into thick hide wasn't enough to quell her rising panic. Snarling, she slid underneath the stomping beast in one of her riskiest moves and buried her daggers to the hilt into the creature's vitals. Rolling quickly out from under the lumbering beast, Hawke watched as the bronto keeled over in agony, its bowels sprawled in the dirt. Sebastian's arrow to the open throat put it the animal out of its misery.

Once again, bodies littered the large room and Hawke ignored the voice in her head that asked if killing was all she was good at. Wearily trudging up the ramp to the upper level she gave Varric a pat on the shoulder as she passed him. Her nimble fingers searched the bodies and crates for coin and potions and her stomach sank to think of how many potions they were likely to need for this trip. When she rendezvoused with her team she tossed a stamina draught to Fenris who was tempted to refuse, but her angry expression brooked no argument. The elf downed the potion and immediately felt his strength return with a happy sigh.

"Let's have a short rest before we continue." Her team nodded and Anders started a fire to ward off the damp chill in the room. Hawke was eyeing the bronto speculatively. "Varric, what does bronto taste like?"

Varric smirked at his smart rogue. "Better than deepstalker. No cloying after taste of bile or road kill." Grabbing the dirk in his boot, he stood and advised Hawke on which parts of the carcass were worth using, showing her how to cut through the thick hide with practiced strokes.

"I would never have thought of that." Sebastian was watching the other rogues across the way, an odd feeling welling in his chest. Jealousy? Temptation? Wonder? Who could say – all he knew was that the enigma that was Hawke affected him more deeply than he cared to admit.

Anders didn't try to hide his derision. "That's why she's leading us, not you." The surly mage became even more sour at the admiring tone in the Chantry brother's voice. Fenris watched the prince watching Hawke and narrowed his eyes. He still wasn't sure how much they could trust the man. It didn't matter that they got along – Fenris was more concerned with how wishy-washy the brother had proven to be in regards to his vows. The elf determined to keep a close eye on the man in shiny armor and make sure he didn't try to paint himself as a knight.

The rogues laughed as they wrapped the bloody hunks of meat in cloth and carried them over to the others. Anders magically preserved the food for later consumption while Hawke began passing out ready to eat rations to replenish everyone's energy reserves. After the team ate and rested, they were anxious to move on. As they passed the Carta leader's body, Anders paused. "Uh, Hawke, you might want to see this." Hawke moved quickly to his side and gasped.

A vibrant purple light emanated from the body. Using the toe of her boot she rolled him on to his back and reached for the item that was glowing. A wicked dagger with an ornate handle and blade that was more for decoration than actual fighting, but once it was in her hand it began to pull the very core of her being. Her blood was on fire, shooting through her veins at impossible speed, and she could feel the dagger waking up at her touch. One word whispered through her mind, "Key." Underneath the blinding pain and the whispering, Hawke could hear the deranged laughter of the Master. She was jerked back to the present, gasping for air with a death grip on the weapon.

"Katya, are you okay?" Varric was worried the unusual blade might have addled her brain. She was just standing there with her mouth slightly open, when moments before she'd been quaking as if she'd been hit with a lightening spell. Whatever that thing was Varric didn't like it.

Blue eyes refocused on the scared expressions of her friends. "This," she breathed, "is going to take me to Corypheus." No one said anything as their leader replaced one of her usual daggers with the new, creepy one. Following the stairs down into the depths of the hideout Hawke saw a couple of Carta ahead of them so she cued the men to pick up the pace, hoping to catch up with them. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs the dwarves were forgotten as their escape was magically sealed behind them.

"Well, that can't be good," mumbled Varric.

Hawke gave a hard smile. "Nothing is ever easy, is it?" She wandered over to an ancient door and kicked it open on its rusty hinges. Growls erupted throughout the room, leaving them all to stand in horror for a couple of seconds. They were surrounded by massive, hungry genlocks.

"Holy Maker!" Hawke winced as she remembered this was Sebastian's first encounter with darkspawn. She just hoped that he could pray and pull his bowstring at the same time. Anders froze the first wave and Hawke flipped behind the large creatures sliding her daggers into their still forms.

"Another wave," she yelled as the first wave thawed and as second group popped out of the ground to swarm them.

"Is that all you've got?" Varric jeered as arrows fell from the air slowing down the genlocks momentum. "Line 'em up for me! I'll take them down!" Hawke laughed airily at her lover's bravado and rushed into one who was already off balance putting him directly in Bianca's line of sight only to see the beast explode as one of Varric's heavy bolts ripped through its body with incredible force.

Winking at the dwarf, Hawke turned and fell in beside Fenris, and helped him take out the group he'd spirit pulsed. When the last darkspawn fell the team barely had time to recollect their thoughts when a deep voice echoed through the room. "Be bound here for eternity – Hunger stilled, Rage smothered, Desire dampened, Pride crushed. In the name of the Maker, so let it be."

Hawke seemed confused by the ghostly incantation, but was quickly distracted by the glowing red orbs on the wall. "Anders, look at these." The mage walked over to the nearest one and gave it a cursory examination.

"Those are seals. If you look over there, you'll see the third one in the center of that shield." Hawke finally noticed the golden blockade that held a shade in the cell. It was the same type of seal that was currently covering their way out. The rogue could feel the dagger pulsating against her back whenever she got close to one of the red orbs and she knew what she had to do. Taking the key in her hand, she held it up to both of the orbs on the walls in turn, then took it to the final orb to dissolve the seal and release the demon.

Shades descended on the team from every direction and Hawke was only able to get a couple of hits on the alpha shade before it activated a personal shield. Fenris used his spirit pulse to their advantage dealing significant spirit damage to the shades, making it easier to cut through them to the alpha when his shield came down. Varric pinned it in place to give her more time to weaken it, but it was Sebastian's righteous arrow that sent it back to the Fade.

"I can do nothing about the Warden's use of demons in this horrid place," boomed the ethereal blue figure in the corner, "but I will have no one say that any magic of mine ever released one into the world."

"That…voice – it sounds familiar." Varric gave her hand a reassuring squeeze to bring her back to the present. Being down in the Deep Roads was really messing with the young woman's head.

"Blondie, is it safe to make camp here? I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had my share of excitement today." He chuckled lightly to mask his unease which the other men saw right through.

Anders closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. "Seems safe enough. If we pitch our tents in that back corner by the cells, we can keep them from surrounding us." They only had two tents this time which worked out quite well. Varric and Hawke were sharing one leaving the second to the other companions. So when one of them was on watch the other two could sleep, but it would still be awkward when Varric was on guard duty and three men were suddenly sharing one tent. Oh well, couldn't be helped now.

Hawke slid wearily against a wall, eyes unseeing and a frown marring her pretty features as they made camp around her. _Where have I heard that voice before? It's familiar – I just can't seem to place it._ Growling softly she tossed her head against the ancient stone walls in frustration. It was right there! But whenever she got close to remembering it flitted away again like a dream.

Blood, key, Corypheus, Carta, Hawke blood, Father, key…she gasped sucking in a substantial quantity of undisturbed dirt into her lungs. Coughing and gagging in reflex against the drying effects of sand in her airway she indicated her need for a water pouch. Sebastian tossed her his and she took a long draught, sighing in relief when she washed all the dirt out of her throat. "Thanks," she croaked. In a raspy voice, she continued, "I remember who the voice belonged to now." Only Sebastian looked unsure of what she was going to say next, but she wanted to say the words aloud. "My father."

* * *

**A/N:** I'm sorry this had taken so incredibly long to post! I hit a brick wall in this chapter for some reason and couldn't figure out how to make it flow. Hopefully the writer's block is gone and I can go back to writing, as usual. Leave reviews and let me know what you think of this update or the story overall! Thanks for all the love guys - it means a lot!


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **BioWare owns all and I blame them for creating characters so compelling I can't stop thinking about them even when I'm not playing the actual game!

* * *

Solemnly the small group settled in for the evening. None of them were tired enough to sleep so they huddled around the fire pit, hoping the heat from the flames would seep in and warm their souls. Varric unfurled a large blanket from their tent and wrapped it around the two of them, giving them the illusion of privacy. "I'm here for you, Katya. Don't shut me out down here," he whispered as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

Giving a small shake, she replied, "I won't. I just don't have anything to say right now." She wasn't able to see his faint frown, obviously disbelieving her words, but he said nothing. If she only wanted comfort until she was ready to talk then that's what he would provide.

The dwarf wrapped an arm around the tiny woman's back and she snuggled closer to him with a happy sigh. He turned his honey eyes in the direction of their companions to see how they were holding up. Anders was leaning against a stone pillar with eyes closed, whether he was actually sleeping or not, Varric couldn't tell. Fenris was cleaning and sharpening his broadsword meticulously, something the shorter man knew he did rarely and usually when he was upset and needed a way to keep his hands busy. Choir Boy was inside the second tent, but from the cadence of the prince's whispered words it was obvious he was praying.

Time was irrelevant underground with no way to gauge the passing of days and nights. No one could say how long the team stayed as they did. Minutes, hours, an entire night? Once Hawke began to lean heavily against his solid frame and his own eyes felt like they were full of sand, Varric extricated himself from her limbs and gently scooped her into his arms. After laying her prone form on their bedroll, he returned for the blanket and covered them both as he joined her in dreamless sleep.

Anders was the one that woke him up for his watch. Groggily shouldering his beloved crossbow Varric left the confines of his tent to speak to the mage. "Anything?" The taller man shook his head. "Get some sleep, Blondie. Bianca and I have you guys covered." With a tired smile Anders trudged to his tent. Varric had just settled himself into a comfortable position when the man came stumbling past the tent flaps.

He hissed in the dark. "No bloody room! I'll just sleep out here for now, I suppose." Varric chuckled quietly at the man's plight.

"I'm sorry, friend. Taking Sebastian on was a rushed idea and we didn't have time to find another tent. Not that we would have room for it anyway." The dwarf shrugged reflexively, unsure if the mage could even make out the motion.

"Not your fault." Anders shifted until he found a position that might allow him to sleep as he burrowed into the heavy blanket he brought in preparation for the trip underground. Varric listened in the dark as his companion's breathing evened out signaling the mage's descent into the Fade. As a dwarf he didn't dream like humans and elves, which he was grateful for after he'd followed Hawke into the Fade to rescue Fenyriel. One experience there was enough for a lifetime. Shuddering slightly at the memory Varric tuned his ears for sounds of darkspawn, focusing his attention on every shuffle in the impenetrable blackness.

A few times he heard the distant growl of darkspawn in the corridors, but they never ventured close enough to raise the alarm. Toward the end of his watch Varric noticed the sudden restlessness of the mage. The man was whimpering softly and kicking his feet anxiously. Shaking his head, the dwarf stood and walked over to the distressed Grey Warden to rouse him from his fitful dreams.

"Blondie, wake up. Listening to them won't do you a damn bit of good." Anders woke with a start, scuttling away from Varric's touch in terror until he realized where he was. Sending a small spark into the cold fire pit the mage magically rekindled the flames to cast the encroaching shadows into the corners. With trembling hands he covered his face from the observant rogue to keep him from seeing just how close to the edge he really was down here.

Saying nothing the two men went about setting out food and waking their companions. Varric found Hawke already awake, staring at the canvas with a faraway expression. "Hey Beautiful, sleep well?" She turned her lovely face to him and gave him a genuine smile that he was compelled to return.

"Amazingly well. Must have been more tired than I realized." Hawke's lips turned down as she saw the beginnings of purple bruises under his eyes. "Did you not rest well, Varric?" She sat up and he shook his head as he moved closer to her.

"I did, but I just finished my watch." Dropping his voice into a whisper he continued, "I'm worried about Anders. He's already having problems and it's only been one day here." Hawke bit her lip.

"We'll keep an eye on him, but there's nothing for it. We need him…I need him to keep us from being caught unawares." Varric pulled her into his arms roughly. They clung to each other unable to articulate their individual fears, but giving and taking comfort in the other all the same. "Come on, I'm hungry and we need to get going." Separating reluctantly the pair exited their tent to join the men for breakfast.

"Sebastian," began their leader, "did you sleep alright after yesterday? I know that your first encounter with darkspawn can be unpleasant." The archer's vibrant blue eyes met hers and he smiled faintly.

"Aye, I did. Thank you for your concern, Hawke." Smiling in relief, she looked to her other intrepid companions and they nodded in response to her silent question. Soon, the group was ready to move on rested and with full bellies. Heading out the door in the back of the room Hawke steered them left and through another doorway. Anders grabbed her by the elbow, jerking his head towards a corner of the room they entered. Hawke's eyes narrowed and she reached for her daggers as she crept into the sand-filled area. The key was pulsing with energy in her right hand as she neared the darkspawn hiding place.

Sand rained upon them all as genlocks popped out of the mounds intent on tearing them apart, but Anders hurled a huge fireball on the creatures practically eliminating their foes in one go. "Second wave," cried Fenris and with an exultant cry Hawke flitted across the dunes to exact her own brand of justice. The end of the small skirmish found Hawke covered in blood and sand smiling triumphantly.

Varric chuckled. "Good to have you back, Katya. Now let's keep going and continue to kick some darkspawn ass."

"My thoughts exactly!" Sharing a laugh the team moved further in the tower. They didn't get very far before Hawke raised her hand to stay the group. Someone was sifting through the rubble ahead of them – a man in rusted armor, hunched over, and bald patches in his hair and beard. When he caught sight of Hawke he shuffled quickly to stand in front of her.

"The key!" His voice was raspy from disuse and Hawke stepped back slightly when she saw his eyes. They weren't white like the dwarves, instead it looked like the pupils had exploded, creating a gray center, but leaving the blue irises untouched. In another life, she was willing to bet his eyes had been beautiful, but now they were hazy and ruined. "Did they find it? The dwarves? I heard them looking…digging. How do you bring the key here?"

"How is this a key," asked the rogue.

"Magic, old magic it is. Magic from the blood. It made the seals – it can destroy them." Not wanting to give away that she already knew as much, she tried to find out more about him and the place they were in.

"Who are you? What's wrong with you?"

The man scoffed. "You ask me that? I am the one that belongs here, not you. You are no darkspawn."

Anders spoke, "He's wearing Grey Warden armor. I think he was one of them."

"So, do you want to drink my blood, too," she asked sarcastically.

"Blood? Blood of the Hawke! Are you the Hawke? I smell no magic on you, but you hold the key…the key to his death! Yes, I can show you out…yes." Varric's scowl deepened at the man's tone. Grey Warden or not, he was obviously insane, and the way he twitched when he talked set off alarm bells in his mind. Unfortunately, he knew they had no one else to guide them out of this pit and they couldn't afford to refuse his help. It was a little...too convenient.

"Perfect, what do I need to do?"

"The seals hold us in. Anything comes in…nothing ever leaves, not without the key. You must use it, yes? On the seals. Every seal – you touch the key to it, only then they open…only for the Hawke. Not back…not up. Only way out is down…and through the heart." He turned and walked away, muttering as he went. "Down, down…in the depths."

Hawke shivered involuntarily at the Warden's ominous words. As they continued their trek Sebastian directed a question to the mage. "Do you ever regret leaving the Grey Wardens?"

Anders looked at the archer like he was mad. "Not for a moment."

That took the duty-bound prince by surprise. "But…I come here and see what's festering beneath our feet, while we do nothing to fight it. You have the chance to face it, elbow-deep in the blood and the taint and-"

"You make it sound like so much fun," sneered the former Warden. Hawke grinned faintly at their bickering as the group walked into a large circular room. A raised stone dais surrounded by four pillars stood in the center and trapped within the platform was a pride demon. Unsheathing the key she touched the hilt of the dagger to the demon and with a resounding CRACK the seal fell away.

The enormous demon descended upon the team, swiping them with its large, clawed hands. Hawke rolled out to the side to avoid being hit, but Fenris wasn't quick enough and was thrown across the room. Varric used his bursting arrow to distract the creature and shield his companions. He watched as Hawke took a running leap at the demon, burying her daggers in its vulnerable side, and quickly disengaged with a drop-roll. The elf was back up and slashing at the every available weak point in the thick hide. It rushed the group in pain and anger, and the dwarf's short legs were no match for the huge strides of the demon. Varric tumbled through the air and landed heavily on the ground, sliding across the stone until his momentum was halted by a wall.

"VARRIC!" Hawke abandoned the fight and ran to her lover's side, glancing over her shoulder to see the beast finally succumb to one of Anders' ice spells. Varric was bleeding profusely from a deep gash in the back of his head, but she couldn't see if anything was broken in the dim light. "Anders, hurry!" Tears poured down her cheeks as she gingerly caressed his face. "Please, don't die, don't leave me alone," she whispered in his ear.

Anders reached the couple and gave the dwarf a cursory examination. "Nothings broken or bleeding internally, Hawke. I'll close the head wound and he'll be fine." He gave the woman a reassuring smile which she returned as he carefully knitted the flesh together so seamlessly it probably wouldn't leave a scar. Varric groaned and swore when he came around a few seconds later. "Here," Anders pushed an elfroot potion towards him, "drink this to replenish the blood you lost so you won't be lightheaded."

He glared at the healer, but swallowed his sarcastic retort at the anxious expression on Hawke's face. _Must have really scared her to shake Katya up like that._ Grimacing, he drank the contents of the bottle as quickly as he could, trying to avoid contact with his taste buds. It wasn't entirely successful, but after another minute of sitting Varric had to admit he felt a million times better. "Dear Varric, learn to parry. Love, your innards," he joked to the those huddled around him. Anders clapped him on the back and helped him stand. Hawke stood, as well, giving his hand a grateful squeeze.

The Warden took that moment to slink into the room. "Let me guess," began Hawke. "The first seal."

He hobbled further in to stand beside the group. "Two thousand years, the magic holds. Never broken. Give it the key. Let it take the magic back to itself." Hawke saw the same purple glow emanating from the pillars that had first been seen surrounding the dagger. "Absorb it…all who came before."

She walked into the center of the dais and studied the pillars. Each one represented a different element of attack. These all seemed to be elemental – one for electricity, fire, ice, and nature. Thinking of the foes she was likely to encounter on this expedition she chose nature damage. It worked well against darkspawn and spiders – she only hoped it would work against Corypheus. Once Hawke made her choice she faced the pillar stretching the dagger in its direction and closed her eyes against the bright light that spewed from the stone, bracing her lithe frame from the force of pure energy. When all the magic had been absorbed she could see the thin green mist that swirled around the blade, indicating its new ability to inflict nature damage with every hit.

Hopping down from the platform the Warden spoke again. "The blood works. It is good."

"Thank you for helping me, but…who are you? Do you have a name?"

The tormented man turned away. "Name…so long since I've said my name. La…Larius! I was Larius." His armor clanged softly as he moved away to think. "There was a title, too. Commander…Commander of the Grey!" Larius swung around in triumph at remembering a piece of who he was before the taint robbed him of it.

Anders sighed unhappily. "He was a Warden. Poor wretch must have come down here on his Calling…"

"Yes! The Calling…the songs get louder. Only death stops them." For a moment no one in their party breathed as it became painfully obvious to all present that one day this would be Anders – lost or dead in the Deep Roads. This was the legacy of the Grey Wardens and it was horrible to behold.

Pushing the depressing thought aside Hawke refocused her attention to Larius. "If you're a Warden, then do you know what just happened? What does the seal have to do with my blood?"

The man moved closer. "The magic, it calls to the blood, reads the thoughts of those who hold it. The last to hold it, the Hawke. I was there when he laid the seals. Before I became this."

Varric knew he was recovering from slight head trauma, but the Warden's enigmatic non-answers were making his head hurt. Couldn't the man just answer a damn question? Well, then again, maybe he couldn't now that his mind was full of other voices besides his own. _Poor bastard._

Larius spun around, his disturbing eyes wild. "C-Corypheus calls! In the darkness! What waits there?" Before anyone could say a word, he scampered off and melted into the shadows. Hawke sighed and led the way out, marching deeper into the tower with an increasing sense of trepidation.


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: **Not mine, BioWare owns all! *****Sorry for the delay in updating. Life got in the way and I got stuck on this story. Hope you enjoy! Leave reviews.

* * *

After hours of marching in the darkness and fighting roaming bands of darkspawn Hawke tossed her pack into a corner. "Make camp. We can't fight anymore today." No one argued as they wearily helped their leader set up tents and build a fire. Turning to her faithful warrior she asked if he had seen any signs of water.

Fenris shook his head sadly. "No, Hawke and we'll be in trouble if we don't find some soon. What's left of my rations taste of rank leather." She sighed and rubbed her eyes in irritation.

"Damn. I was sure we would be out of here by now. I'm sorry to drag you underground into nearly the exact same situation, my friend." Her blue eyes were filled with sorrow and words unspoken when she met his large green orbs.

The elf awkwardly laid his hand on her shoulder and gave a weary smile. "It's not an adventure with you Hawke without the constant threat of death." She chuckled weakly and nodded her silent thanks before heading to Anders on the opposite side of the camp.

"Anders, may I have a word?" The blond man turned to face her and seeing her serious expression gave a slow nod. They walked far enough away from the camp to not be overheard. "Varric told me about your dreams and after seeing Larius I don't know what I can do to make this trip easier for you."

The mage held up his hand. "Thank you for your concern, Hawke, but there's nothing you can do for me. I'm cursed by the very thing that allows me to sense darkspawn. If I had known before I joined the Wardens…then again, it was the only way to remain free of the Circle tower and spared from being made Tranquil. I probably would have chosen this life anyway with my alternatives being what they were." He sighed heavily.

Hawke's brow furrowed at his words. She had to admit that she didn't always like Anders, but they had known and fought along side each other for four years and she didn't like what his words insinuated. "I see, well then, I'm even more sorry for dragging you down here. Which brings me to something else I need to ask you. Can you begin melting ice for us, like you did last time? We're almost out of water and what's left is becoming rank in their leather pouches."

"Of course I will. I'll see if I can clean and seal the interior of the water pouches, as well, so they won't turn our water again."

"Good. Thank you, Anders. Why don't you get some rest? Sebastian can have first watch tonight." He smiled his thanks as he walked back into camp, making sure to pass the message to the prince before practically falling into the tent for some sleep.

She nodded to Fenris and Sebastian as she made a beeline for her own tent, purposely ignoring the elf's knowing smirk and Sebastian's uncomfortable cough. Pushing past the canvas flap and into the dim interior she found her adorable, wonderful dwarf waiting under the blankets and a smug grin on his face.

Hawke giggled softly as she peeled her clothes off and flung them into an unseen corner of their space. Varric growled his approval as each layer was removed from her body until she stood naked in front of him. She only gave him a moment to appreciate her perky breasts and mile-long legs before she sprawled out next to him and he wrapped his muscular arms around her body. "Be gentle with me, m'lady. I was injured in your service today."

Hawke gave an unladylike snort. "I'm sure that Anders' healing magic was sufficient. Besides," her hand crept down his toned stomach and wrapped itself around his throbbing shaft, "the most important part of you seems to be just fine to me."

Varric chuckled deeply which quickly dissolved into a groan as she stroked him into stone-like hardness. "Minx. I love you, you crazy, stubborn, gorgeous woman." Those were the last words spoken for a while as their mouths were suddenly fused together, tongues dueling just as fiercely as when they verbally sparred with each other. Hawke practically mewled when his broad thumb rubbed lazy circles around her pearl while Varric's lips pulled up into his signature smirk against her soft, full mouth.

He was unprepared for the sudden change of events, which left him underneath her as she lined up her entrance to the head of his twitching member. Any smart comments were silenced though as she slid down his length leaving him mindless and speechless, completely under her control. Hawke chose a medium tempo as she bounced gracefully on top of him, breasts following her every movement, and his eyes following theirs.

Quickly though, the dwarf regained his senses and began to thrust in time with her body, lifting his pelvis the way he knew would rub against her clit. After years of making love some would assume that sex would become boring, but Varric found that it made things better because he knew every inch of her body and how to make her sing. Soon, Hawke was mumbling and crying incoherently and Varric grabbed her by the hips, slamming her onto him as he thrust deep inside her channel.

"V-Varric…keep going…almost…ugh, dear Maker!"

"Hawke…when are you…going to realize that I'm your Maker?" She swatted his arm half-heartedly at his cheek.

"I love you…just, yes, yes, Varric!" Hawke shuddered and clamped around his rock hard length as she shattered. Her lover was quick to follow with his own cry of fulfillment, shooting inside of her. She crumpled on top of him and he repositioned her so he could breathe while keeping his arms wrapped tightly around her lithe frame. When their breathing had slowed to a normal rate, she spoke again. "Don't you dare do that again! Don't you die on me, Varric. I thought you were a goner today and I wouldn't be able to live without you."

Varric pulled her closer against his chest when he felt the dampness of her tears. "Oh, Katya, I'm so sorry. I feel the same way about you, which is why I sometimes want to drag you out of fights when I'm afraid we're outnumbered."

She nodded feebly. "Let's get some rest. We're going to need it." Burrowing her face into his downy chest hair Hawke quickly began to doze off as Varric ran his thick fingers through her long auburn tresses.

* * *

The next couple of days followed the same routine of taking down the roving bands of darkspawn they encountered and breaking seals. After killing a Desire Demon and sending her army of corpses back to the Fade, her father's voice echoed in the eerie silence.

"I've bought our freedom, Leandra. We can go home now, us and the baby. We'll be together. I hope it takes after you, love. I would wish this magic on no one. May they never learn what I've done here."

Hawke rocked back on her heels in shock, whispering, "The baby…he was talking about me. He did all of this because of me." She threw out a hand to lean against the stone wall, but it met Varric's sturdy grip instead.

He gave her a gentle smile. "I know this must be hard for you, learning what your father did here to keep his family safe. But don't let it change your view of him. He raised you right and Sunshine, too. He would be proud of you."

Fenris piped up from behind her. "He seemed like a good man, Hawke. Remember him as you knew him." She nodded softly to both of the men and mentally shook herself so they could continue their trek. As the group walked away Hawke could hear Sebastian's deep voice whispering prayers to the Maker on her father's behalf and she smiled at the gesture.

The quintet finally reached the room they'd all been dreading. "Alright everyone, the second seal. I have no idea what to expect from this one, so be prepared for anything. Varric, Sebastian, Anders keep to your ranged positions unless we need you. Fenris, are you ready?" The elf drew his massive blade and squared his shoulders with a curt nod. Pulling the wicked dagger from its sheath, Hawke made her way nervously to the dias. Glancing at Varric she couldn't read his expression in the dim light, but his stance told her that he didn't like this any more than she did. As she raised the dagger to the seal the green shield exploded, sending the rogue flying, as a Pride Demon emerged engulfed in flame.

"Fire Pride! Take it down quickly," yelled Anders. Hawke quickly regained her footing and stealthed behind the massive Fade creature with her blades at the ready. Fenris was hacking and slashing with deep strokes, but it was barely phasing the demon. There was a slight shift in the air and Hawke realized that the blond mage switched to a spirit staff which seemed to weaken the beast. Breaking stealth she lept into her signature strike, body curled, blades poised for maximum depth and damage, but just as she was would have hit the demon it vanished and she quickly rolled into a ball for landing.

"Behind you, Hawke!" Sebastian's brogue was the only warning she had before the demon swiped at her with a flaming claw. Working on instinct she sidestepped to the right, but she was too slow. Hawke couldn't contain her scream as the wicked edge of it's forearm tore through her pants and dug through her muscles like lava. Her leg crumpled underneath her, blood pooling quickly, as the demon descended on its prey.

Glass shattered nearby shielding everyone in dense mist. Varric's voice boomed through the chamber, "Blondie, grab Hawke while you can! We'll deal with this bastard!" Anders appeared almost immediately at her side, brown eyes filled with worry as he scooped her up. He whispered his apologies with every little whimper she couldn't hold back as he carried her outside the room. They barely made it outside the chamber before their shield disappeared.

Gently moving the tattered cloth aside to assess the damage Anders eyes widened. He glanced at the woman to see if she'd noticed, but she was lying back, breathing shallowly. "Hawke, stay with me." Reaching into himself Anders tapped into his mana pool and began chanting the healing spells required. The wound was deep and jagged, he could see the white of her bone under the gore, but because of the Fade flame parts of her musculature had been seared or melted.

The fighting was finally over, but the mage never noticed the silence, until someone whispered behind him. "Dear Maker…no! No, Varric, I think you should wait back here."

"Choir Boy, if you don't let me go, I will pin you to the wall!" The two men continued to bicker as Fenris peeked around the corner of the entryway to see how things were coming along. The elf gasped to see how much damage there still was even after the mage had been working on her for ten minutes. Anders was an excellent healer and for him to take so long meant it wasn't good. Fenris reached into his pack and pulled out all the vials of lyrium he had and passed them to the blond man.

Anders glanced at the elf in surprise at the gesture, but took them gratefully, opening one and downing it without a word as he continued to try and repair the mangled mess that was Hawke's leg. With the resurgence of mana the mage began to feel the magic knitting the blood vessels together, instead of just clotting the blood to stop the bleeding, and slowly the muscles began to reattach, hiding the shocking whiteness of bone from view.

Varric had given up his fight with the prince, instead he was slumped against a wall with his head in his hands. Sebastian made his way over to the elf and healer, still keeping an eye on the dwarf. "Any progress?" Anders leaned back and wiped the sweat from his brow wearily.

"I managed to stop the bleeding and heal some of the muscles, but I'm afraid to drink any more lyrium. I can't afford to be lyrium-addled in the Deep Roads." The three men exchanged worried glances. Leaning around the mage, Sebastian could still see the gaping wound in Hawke's thigh.

"Normally Anders I would agree with you, but we don't have any other choice. We'll make camp here tonight so you can fully heal Hawke and Fenris and I can keep an eye on you if you become addled."

Fenris sighed. "He's right. We'll start setting camp and you just worry about Hawke." Anders looked at the three vials of lyrium and bit his lip worriedly. Reaching for a vial he uncorked and swallowed it before his better sense told him not to and continued to close the wound. Twenty minutes and the last two vials later, Anders knew he was nearly there when Hawke began to come around.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…Circle mage, Bethany…"

"Shhh, Hawke, you're safe. Just rest."

Her eyelids fluttered at his voice. "A-Anders? Where's Varric?"

"I'm right here, babe." Varric moved quickly around the entryway, only sparing a glance for the red scar on her white skin. The dwarf knelt at her side and tossed his gloves on the ground to caress her face with his broad palm. The woman hummed appreciatively at his touch and sighed at the cool rush of healing magic on her fevered body.

Anders leaned heavily on his arms in exhaustion, "All done…I should lie…down."

"Broody! The mage is about to collapse!" Fenris and Sebastian ran around the corner and each took a side as they helped steer Anders to his tent. Varric turned to look at his woman and saw her breathtaking eyes drinking him in. His mouth crashed onto hers and she clung to him like she was drowning as they kissed. He leaned his forehead against hers when they separated to breathe. "Can you stand? I'll help you."

"I think so. It feels a little stiff, but I should be able to make it to the tent." Scrambling to his feet Varric gently pulled Hawke to her feet. She hissed a little when she put her full weight on her leg, so she quickly leaned to the other side with Varric for extra support.

"Take it easy, Katya." As they hobbled awkwardly to the tent Hawke began to sag before the halfway mark. "Come here, I'll carry you. You need to rest." Normally his feisty rogue would have argued with him, but the sweat on her brow was a dead give away that she couldn't make it and she knew it. With ease the dwarf caught her body as her energy faded and he pulled her close to his chest as he carried her inside their tent.

Fenris and Sebastian witnessed the scene in silence. Fenris could only hope that this injury would fully heal within a day or two so they could finish the mission and return to the surface. He didn't want to stay underground much longer. Sebastian felt the same strange tug on his heart and this time he knew it was jealousy. Vows or no vows, he was attracted to Hawke. He knew he couldn't do anything about it, but that didn't stop him from wishing that he were the one Hawke called for, whether in pain or passion.

The elf noticed the wistful expression on the other man's face. "Be careful that you don't pine for something you can't have."

Sebastian turned his gaze to the ground as his cheeks burned. "Are you speaking from experience, Fenris?" He glared at the elf for catching him in the act of breaking his oath to the Maker.

Fenris turned his large green eyes to the tent that Varric and Hawke shared. "Possibly," he whispered. As the elf walked away Sebastian was left stunned. What kind of power did this woman wield to have all of the men in her party infatuated with her, even though only one of them could actually have her? Even more incredible to him was Hawke's obliviousness to the situation. Shaking his head sadly the prince gathered up his bow and quiver to keep watch on his side of the chamber. He needed to pray and it was going to be a long night.


	21. Chapter 21

The next day found the companion's camp strangely quiet. Hawke and Varric were still ensconced in their canvas bubble and Anders had only made an appearance for breakfast before disappearing inside the shared tent again, trying to hide the wild look in his eyes from the other men. Sebastian and Fenris had been sure to give the slightly-addled-darkspawn-tainted mage space as he came down from his high. Neither of them spoke as they rolled up their pallets. Once again, time had no meaning in the semi-dark chamber, so the men distracted themselves by cleaning their weapons.

Fenris' sharp ears caught the muffled whispers of the couple as they roused themselves from sleep. He controlled his facial expression with difficulty to keep Sebastian from becoming suspicious. He was careful to never let on with the other members how much of their "private" conversations he was actually aware of and he didn't want them to feel like he would betray their confidence, so instead he acted oblivious and swore to never breathe a word.

"Morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?" Hawke smiled at his concern.

"I did. I'm fine, Varric, really. Not even sore this morning. I think I was just worn out from the shock of the injury yesterday, but I feel good." The dwarf's stomach rumbled loudly, ruining the moment. Hawke stifled her giggles in the blanket while Varric's deep chuckle washed over her.

"Well, I guess that means it's time to eat." He cupped her face in his large hand, brushing the pad of his thumb across her cheekbone. "Don't do that to me, Katya. It was so bad that Sebastian wouldn't even let me see you until Anders was done."

She took his hand and moved it to her thigh. "But look Varric, not even a scar. I know you were terrified. I was too, when I saw you fly through the air the other day. Let's both promise to be more careful, but things like this will happen. Its part of the job description."

"I know it is. It's just hard to get over something like that so quickly. I really think Anders thought you were going to die. I've never seen him work so hard and long before."

Hawke furrowed her brow. "How much lyrium did he take?"

Varric gave her a meaningful look. "Enough." Hawke couldn't help feeling a little guilty for addling her friend when he was already vulnerable in the Deep Roads. The dwarf sat up and pulled his pack towards him, trying vainly to find a tunic that wasn't crusted with dirt and blood, but gave up with a weary sigh. "Come on. I'm sure that Broody and Choir Boy have already eaten. We should check on Blondie, too."

Hawke waved away his outstretched hand with a smirk. He shook his head with a wry grin at the strength she possessed. She moved a little more slowly than usual, but other than that she seemed perfectly capable of moving around on her own. Giving a small cry of triumph Hawke found her hair brush at the bottom of her pack and began a fierce battle against the knots in her red hair. "Damn it. I'll have to wash it if I have any hope of it looking normal again."

Varric laughed. "I think we could all use a little washing." He pulled the tent flap back and bowed, exaggeratedly. "M'lady." Hawke laughed softly and rolled her eyes at his antics as she passed through the opening.

"Morning Fenris, Sebastian." Hawke sat down beside the elf with a warm smile and he returned it with a slight one of his own. "What's for breakfast?"

Sebastian passed the dwarf and the noblewoman their shares of roasted bronto without making eye contact. Varric noticed the odd atmosphere among the group, but didn't say anything. Hawke dug in happily, sighing in satisfaction when she was done. "Maker, I definitely need a wash after that. I'm covered in grease." She left the group and could be heard poking around inside the tent. She reappeared and tossed a rag at Varric. "It used to be a shirt, but now it's a napkin!" With the return of the Hawke everyone knew and loved, it was easy to smile and laugh together.

"So, how's Anders?" The question sobered the group immediately.

Fenris sighed. "Not good. He still has a crazed look about him. I don't think it's safe to venture farther in until he's worked all the lyrium out of his system."

"I'm not sure what he's doing in his tent, but he hasn't been out since breakfast." The archer's voice caused Fenris to frown, which Varric noticed and filed away for later. It was obvious that something was up between the two men and he didn't want any awkwardness between the members when they were trapped underground.

Hawke stood. "I'm going to talk to him." Before any of the men could protest, she'd already swept inside the mage's tent unannounced. "Anders? Are you alright?"

The blond man was huddled in a back corner of the shelter, rocking slightly as his lips moved silently. He didn't register the woman's presence. With slow, deliberate steps Hawke moved towards the mage. "Anders, it's Hawke. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. And tell you thank you for saving my ass again." She smiled as she knelt to his eye level. When her face filled up his vision, his wild eyes refocused, looking more like the brown orbs she was used to.

"Hawke?" His throat was dry from lack of water. Quickly locating his water pouch, she passed it to him so he could wet his throat and mouth. "Thank you," he mumbled after he swallowed. "How are you feeling? Did it heal properly?"

The woman smiled again. "It's fine, like it never happened." Impulsively the rogue took his calloused hands in hers and Anders' mouth dried up once more as his heart raced in his chest. "I heard how bad it was," she whispered. Turning her sapphire eyes up to fully meet his, she continued softly, "I wanted to thank you. You saved my life, Anders."

All the mage wanted to do in that moment was kiss the gorgeous woman before him, but he managed to restrain himself. "You're welcome, Hawke. We'd be lost without you."

"Now, we just need to get you better. How does one come down from being lyrium addled?" She continued to hold his hands as she forced his mind to think, tethering his brain to reality and leaving the shadows of insanity behind.

Anders frowned as he tried to process the question and formulate an articulate response. "It depends…on the amount of lyrium ingested. And it would be safe to cast some simple spells to release the overabundance of lyrium in the mage's system."

She nodded encouragingly. "Good. How much did you take Anders?"

His reply was faster. "Four vials in rapid succession. I probably didn't need the last one, but I was trying to work more quickly."

"Do you think the last one was too much?" He nodded. "Alright, well, lets work the leftovers out of your system, okay? You can practice some simple ice spells, while I stretch out my leg." She pulled him to his feet and smirked. "Oh, and no fire spells until you are confident you won't set the camp on fire." Anders chuckled in spite of himself. He recognized what she'd just done for him by pulling him from the abyss of madness. The blond realized she was still holding his hand as she gently led him towards the entrance of the tent and with a small, sad smile he squeezed her hand in thanks before letting it go entirely.

Just like her namesake, Hawke tilted her head at him questioningly. "I don't think we should walk out there holding hands. Varric can be trigger happy." The rogue flashed him a blinding smile.

"I understand. After yesterday, you're probably right. Come on." The men sitting around the small campfire pretended like they hadn't been eavesdropping. Varric wasn't phased by Hawke holding Anders' hand since it was obviously more of a motherly gesture than romantic on her part, but it had definitely stirred up strong emotions among the two men sitting with him. The tension in the elf's shoulders was a give-away to the observant rogue of his discomfort at the mage's words. Sebastian's jaw moved back and forth in agitation and now he seemed to be sharpening his arrow tips with a little more force than was necessary.

"Who wants to help me train?" Varric leaned back to see if the others would take her up on her offer. Fenris shook his head and refused to meet her eyes. Hawke turned her gaze to the royal archer, one eyebrow raised in expectation. The other rogue smirked wickedly and Varric narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Let's go Hawke." She clapped as he accepted her challenge. Piling her thick hair into a messy bun secured by hair clips she kept in her pack, the group watched the two rogues prepare for their skirmish. Even with her red hair a wild mess atop her head, clothes covered in Maker-knew-what, Hawke was beautiful as she twirled her daggers effortlessly. Sebastian's piercing eyes watched her expression as he began to shuck his heavy armor. At first, she merely looked amused at the change, but as his armor was removed leaving the prince in his loose undertunic with it's deep V and leather breeches there was no mistaking the slightly hungry look in her eyes. With a quick flick of his wrists the prince pulled a couple of nearly invisible dirks from the hiding places in his boots.

He mimicked her twirling blades with ease and Hawke nodded in appreciation of his form. Sebastian had the advantage in this little practice since he knew how she fought, but she'd never seen him wield a blade, which he was obviously capable of handling, so this would be new for her. They walked in a circle, sizing each other up, looking for an opening. Hawke was trying not to be distracted by the flashes of his olive skin peeking out from under his tunic. Sebastian noticed her distraction and winked brazenly at the woman, pleased to see her blush furiously. In her frustration she twirled around him with the intention to mime stabbing into his exposed side, but he anticipated her move and danced around her.

Without even giving Hawke a moment to find him, Sebastian moved in for the kill and pointed his dagger at her heart. She laughed. "One for the prince." He bowed gallantly with a chuckle. "Come, Your Highness, let's continue."

"As you wish, my lady."

Hawke was feeling more fluid after the first round and was eager to keep going. She was born to fight, even her father had agreed when she was growing up, and she never felt more alive then when she was dancing with death. The prince moved to slice, but she parried and spun away. He turned on his heel, quick to cover his back, and Hawke was once again on the defense. She feinted left and he moved to protect that side, only to discover as she twirled around him and hovered her blade over his right side that he'd been had. "One for our fearless leader. Still want to continue?" Hawke nodded.

Both rogues were fired up and ready to prove themselves. Bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet, Hawke tested her recent injury, pleased to find no stiffness or pain. Sebastian watched her test her leg and smirked as he realized she was going to up the ante of their little practice. Hawke ran at him and he didn't flinch as she leapt over him. Before she could bring down her blades the prince slid out from under her and was waiting for her next move when she popped out of her roll.

She studied him, searching for a weakness in his stance or form, but she couldn't find any. He'd been bred and trained all his life, just as she had; they were evenly matched and Hawke was becoming frustrated. She wanted to best him – not because she wanted to prove that he couldn't fight, not even to prove that she could after yesterday…there was some intangible reason why she felt she needed to win. He shuffled his feet slightly to the left at the same time that his eyes shifted in the same direction. Hawke smothered her grin as he gave himself away. When he moved she anticipated it and twirled away, only to feel his arm snake around her middle from behind as he held one of his blades millimeters from her throat.

With a breathy chuckle Hawke spoke, "Nice feint, Sebastian. I'll have to use that one." He lowered his blade, but kept his arm wrapped around her midsection.

"My dear Katya," he purred causing her skin to erupt in goose bumps as he caressed her name with his brogue, "you can use anything of mine, anytime." He twirled her to face him before releasing her and stepped back as though nothing happened. With a deep bow, he intoned, "Thank you for the privilege, Hawke. Maybe we can have an actual duel when we are aboveground."

Hawke gave another breathy chuckle as she tried to calm her racing heart and soothe her tortured mind. "Definitely. I would like that." Slipping his dirks into their built-in sheaths Sebastian walked away, ignoring the glares the other men shot in his direction as he gathered his armor and began to polish the greaves.

Varric moved towards the woman, but she shook her head and hustled past him into the hallway outside the chamber. The dwarf was rooted to the stone working his jaw back and forth in rage and anxiety. He wasn't blind – he knew what the royal rogue's game was and he saw the way his long-time love responded to the other man. His trigger finger twitched as he replayed the duo's more amorous moments. And just what the hell had he whispered to her? Hawke practically melted in his arms at his words. If they didn't need the archer so badly, not to mention the bad press in killing royalty, Varric would end the smug bastard right now.

Not being able to stand still any longer the dwarf stomped to the opposite exit in the chamber so he could think without the suffocating sympathy of his team members. Once he was gone Fenris wasted no time in yanking the prince to his feet and walking him backwards until he slammed into a wall.

"What the hell was that about?" The warrior's large green eyes were swirling dangerously. He shoved the archer again. "Well? I'm waiting! Didn't I tell you not to pine for what you can't have?"

Sebastian smirked arrogantly. "Who says I can't have her? You saw how she reacted to me."

Fenris growled. "You – can't – have – her! You don't deserve her or you would respect that she loves someone else! Attraction is one thing, but you don't mess with love. Besides," he spat, "don't you have vows to remain chaste? Or do you plan to break that oath, too?"

The prince flushed angrily. "I rescinded my vows to the Chantry so I could reclaim Starkhaven. A city-state cannot be ruled by a man who can't have heirs! And the Grand Cleric understood my reasons, even if she did not agree, because she knows that I must do what is best for myself and my people!"

The elf released the human in disgust. "Then go to Starkhaven, Sebastian. Leave Kirkwall and leave Hawke. Marry some noblewoman and have your heirs, but know that Hawke is off-limits."

Sebastian shook out the wrinkles in his tunic as he tried to regain his dignity. "Fine. Once this mission is over and we are back in Kirkwall, I will make my arrangements to leave. Unless Hawke says otherwise." He strode confidently back to his original seat and finished polishing his commissioned armor.

Heaving a large sigh Fenris slid down to sit on the cold floor. As he held his head in his hands he cried silent tears for the woman he cared for and a long time ago he'd told to chase another man. He was happy he'd done so – Varric was always destined to be Hawke's other half. The dwarf understood her better than anyone and being around him brought out the softer side of the battle-hardened woman. Fenris was sure he would only have broken her heart and he couldn't have lived with the guilt. But Sebastian's actions showed them all that Hawke was still attracted to other men, which only laid the foundation for anxiety and doubts to fester in her relationship with Varric.

Hours passed as the fractured companions worked through their individual questions and concerns. Finally, Hawke reappeared and nodded brusquely to see that Anders' eyes were devoid of madness. "Pull up camp. We've wasted enough time and we still have one more seal to break before we confront Corypheus." No one made eye contact as they awkwardly and quickly broke camp. Varric let Hawke lead the team and chose to take the rear as they moved deeper into the depths.

**A/N: **Uh oh!


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: **Yada yada. Same as the last ones. Not my original creation; just playing with beloved characters.

**A/N:** Sorry about the long wait guys! Thanks for sticking with me and continuing to read and review. I've been swamped with work and school, but summer is coming and I feel the need to write about sexy dwarves!

* * *

"Ugh, I don't remember the Deep Roads being this…wet," Anders remarked upon reaching the base of the prison that housed Corypheus. Water surrounded the sunken ruins and the air was thick with green, swirling mist that emanated from the pools. Not far ahead Hawke heard the rustling of reptilian feet scraping the ground and she shuddered.

"Deepstalkers ahead. Avoid being hit by poison the best you can." Freeing her daggers from their sheaths Hawke sprinted down a short flight of stairs and flipped into a nest of deepstalkers. She flitted across the field backstabbing and hacking at the repugnant creatures as her teammates worked seamlessly alongside her. One of the poison spitballs hit Fenris square in the face, temporarily blinding him, and her blades sank into it's putrid flesh at the same time that a heavy bolt ripped through it's neck. It was impossible to be sure who could actually claim the kill. Hawke turned to Varric with a pleased smile, only to find that he avoided her eyes and continued to fire bolts into the few remaining reptiles.

With a heavy heart the rogue rejoined the fray, quickly taking down the stragglers along the edges. As the group looted the area Hawke stepped on a piece of parchment, discolored by the humidity and half buried in the sand, beside some unfamiliar armor. Gingerly, she picked it up and strained to read the faded print. "Um, Varric, you might want to see this. I'm sure you can make more sense out of it than I can."

The dwarf made his way over uncertainly. He was intrigued by what Hawke might have found, but he was still smarting over her reaction to Sebastian and wasn't quite ready to discuss it. Wordlessly, she passed the ancient document to him and moved away so he could read it in peace.

"The Legion of the Dead…sent after Paragon Garen's heir? Why does that sound familiar? I think Garen was some time in the early Exalted Age…hundreds of years ago." He shrugged and laid the paper where Hawke found it. He could see her nod dismissively at his uninterested tone as she continued to lead the group. It wasn't too much farther before a second Legion body was discovered, also with a letter. This time Varric picked up the journal entry of his own accord, his curiosity getting the better of him at the story of how two Legion members ended up lost in this portion of the Deep Roads.

"That's where I know the name!" Hawke turned her blue eyes on her lover as he explained. "Tethras Garen should have been the heir to the Garen clan, but he was accused of killing his sister and sent into the Deep Roads to die. When the real murderer was caught, they tried to find him; they never could." Varric's sad honey orbs meet hers and Hawke's heart leapt into her throat, knowing most of his sadness was her fault. "Instead, every Garen heir took the name 'Tethras' in his honor. One of them became a Paragon in their own right and founded my clan."

Unconsciously, she took his hand in hers to comfort him. Varric stiffened at the contact and Hawke quickly released him in embarrassment. Feeling guilty at his reaction the dwarf patted her arm awkwardly and gave a shaky smile in thanks before turning away. Anders and Sebastian followed him out of the ruin, leaving Hawke with Fenris, yet unable to meet the elf's eyes. Blowing an errant strand of hair out of her face, she muttered, "I really screwed things up, didn't I?" The warrior made no reply. "I don't know what came over me! I don't know if it's Corypheus messing with my head, or just me acting like a fool because another man finds me attractive, even though the only person I see myself with is Varric."

"You have to talk to him, but I'd say that he's not ready right now. He came to you after the duel and you turned him away. I think that only confirmed any lingering fears he secretly harbored."

Hawke covered her face with her hands. "Maker, I'll never forgive myself if I lose him to my own stupidity." She noticed the nervous shuffling of her friend. "I'm sorry. I've gone and made things awkward with you, too."

Fenris gave a quick smile and shook his head. "No, it's not that. I don't want to embarrass you, but I have a confession." The rogue peered at him intently. "I, uh," he swallowed thickly, "I'm an elf obviously, which means I have exceptionally good hearing…" Hawke's mouth went slack as she caught on to what he meant. "I heard what Sebastian said to you, Hawke, and he had no right to say such a thing. I just want you to know that I support you in whatever you choose to do with him."

She laughed weakly. "Even if I decide we should push him off the top of the tower and call it an accident?"

The elf snorted while nodding emphatically. "Most definitely. Or we could throw him into the water. I think he's weighted down enough by that atrocious armor to sink."

Another soft chuckle drifted from the entryway of the ruin. "Well, I guess that means he's not a pilot whale after all." Varric leaned casually against the doorframe, his brown eyes twinkling mischievously as he grinned broadly at them. He didn't miss the warmth that filled the younger rogue's eyes at his presence or the slight increase in her breathing. His heart lurched in response to the effect he had on her and gave him a much-needed ego-boost. _Eat your heart out, Prince Charming. Katya only looks at me like that._

Seeing that he was no longer required Fenris slipped around Varric and left them to sort things out. He caught the mage's gaze and shook his head imperceptibly to signal that they should leave the couple for the time being. Sebastian was petulantly slouched against a crumbling stone wall, alternating between glaring at the elf and the building he'd just left. Fenris hissed as he passed the archer, "Guess she didn't choose you after all." Anders choked on what sounded suspiciously like laughter as the royal ass spun on his heel and stormed away from the two men.

"I swear, I'm not healing him in the next fight. If he bleeds out I can just claim exhaustion or say that I was too overwhelmed with darkspawn to fully protect him."

"I don't think anyone will care if he dies anyway. I mean, Starkhaven dropped him off in the lap of the Chantry because he was a rake. No one will miss him, except for Elthina, I suppose."

The mage huffed at the mention of the Grand Cleric, but kept his mouth shut. With a jerk of his head toward the ruined building he asked, "Do you think they'll be okay?"

Fenris nodded. "I'm sure they'll be just fine. You know how they are; they can never stay mad at each other for very long. They'll talk and everything will go back to normal."

"Good, because it's hard to stay focused in a fight when they are bickering. " The warrior nodded in agreement as he sat on the ground and pulled some jerky strips from his pack as they waited on their rogues.

"Varric, I-I'm sorry. I have no excuse for what happened…I don't know what to say."

"Stop, beautiful. You don't have to say anything." The dwarf sighed slightly as he moved closer to her. "I shouldn't let it get to me, honestly. You are young and gorgeous and many men find you attractive. I'm not the only one whose words drip with honey."

Hawke turned her face in shame. "Oh, Varric, just because he's a prince and he knows what to say – it doesn't change what I feel for you." She threw up her hands in frustration. "There was something going on between us during the sparing, but not what you think. I felt like, I don't know, that I had to beat him. It was somehow important, but he beat me instead and I couldn't handle it." Varric was watching her carefully, trying to discern where the conversation was headed.

"I wasn't bothered that he beat me in front of you guys – it was more like it was a prize for him when he won and that feeling…coupled with the words he whispered…I just needed space. I'm sorry that gave you the wrong impression."

The dwarf saw the tortured expression on her face and he felt guilty for misjudging her. He moved beside her and she immediately fell on her knees to be eye level with him with a small whimper. "Oh, Katya, I'm sorry I overreacted. I trust you, I do, I'm just a jealous old man." Hawke threw her arms around his broad frame and sighed happily causing him to smile into her messy bun. "Now, just what did Prince Pilot say to you, hm?"

Hawke stiffened slightly and then mumbled something unintelligible in his duster. "I didn't catch that. You'll have to try again."

"For the love of Andraste, you nosy dwarf," she teased as she pulled back enough to be understood. "He told me that I could use anything of his…anytime." The rogue grimaced as she continued. "Fenris heard him, too, that's why we were discussing conveniently removing him from the party before we return to Kirkwall."

Varric growled in the back of his throat as he unconsciously clenched and unclenched his fists over the not-so-subtle insinuation in Sebastian's words. "I agree with the elf. We kill him. The Deep Roads are very dangerous and not everyone returns…" He stopped at Hawke's bark of laughter and sighed. "Okay, we won't kill him, but I will insist that he leave the city once we get back. Starkhaven needs their prince and we no longer have a use for the religious zealot."

"Agreed," Hawke mumbled with no small amount of relief. "So, are we good, Varric? I don't want to lose you over that damn fool."

Caressing her face tenderly he maneuvered her lips toward his own. "Nothing can make me leave you, Katya. Only you have the power to tell me to go." Hawke smiled brightly and closed the distance between them, feeling her heart surge with giddiness as her lover greedily made love to her mouth with his own. Varric swallowed her groans, but didn't attempt to disguise his lusty growls of approval.

Fenris' face flamed with embarrassment at the sounds he heard in the ruin. Anders returned from doing something and took one look at the warrior to know the rogues had reunited. "I see…ahem, well then. At least she is happy," was all the mage said before he turned and moved forlornly away from the ruin to give them privacy. Fenis followed his lead as daggers pierced his heart with every sigh and breathy moan that his highly attuned ears caught.

Sebastian hung his head in shame at the other men's words as he hid in his own ruin. "Holy Andraste, please forgive me. I must confess a sin most grievous…"

When the rogues finally returned to their companions it was to find Fenris and Anders had set camp in a drier section of the Deep Roads and Anders had already erected the protective wards, since there were few sheltered sites for a camp. Varric raised an eyebrow in silent question to Sebastian's whereabouts and Fenris flicked his eyes right. With a slight nod the dwarf headed in that direction. Hawke made to follow him, but Anders caught her wrist lightly and shook his head. She bit her lip worriedly, but nodded her acceptance and took the jerky Fenris offered her as she sat down between her friends.

As the dwarf got closer to Sebastian's hiding place he could make out the incoherent mumbling of the archer. "Maker…I have done many unforgivable things since meeting this woman…Andraste, help me! She's gorgeous and brilliant and a noblewoman…but she's a murderer. So am I – I do not deserve forgiveness, Bride of the Maker." Varric snuck stealthily around the building, peeking around the corner to see what he was doing. Sebastian was rocking back and forth as sweat poured down his face, leaving tracks through the dirt on his face and neck. The dwarf noticed for the first time how the other man's white armor was black in some of the hinges from dirt and grime. It would take a serious cleaning from an armor smith to remove it.

"Maker!" The exaltation brought the dwarf's attention back to the man sitting in the filth of the Deep Roads. "Help me, I want her…I burn for her. And she chose a dwarf! All of the men are in love with her – is she a temptress of desire made flesh to tempt the sanity of all men? Is my faith so weak that I would beg to fall into her embrace? I-I dream of her…she tortures my mind and my body. There can be no peace for me when she is around if I cannot have her." Then he moaned and Varric's mouth rounded into an "o" of surprise as he realized that Sebastian wasn't rocking back and forth, but had taken matters into his own hands…literally. He was praying for peace of mind while using mental images of Hawke – _his Katya_ – to pleasure himself!

His trigger finger twitched, but he couldn't kill the sick bastard so obviously. But this...this _depravity_ needed to be shared among the group - well, the men, at least. They would make sure that Hawke wasn't alone with the archer while they were trapped underground. And if the prince shouldn't make it back to Kirkwall, it would be the work of the darkspawn…no one else. If he did return, Varric would run his shiny armored self out of town within days. He silently retraced his steps and left the prince to his own devices with a revolted shiver. He would tell the others after Hawke went to bed. Something needed to be done…as if they didn't have a long enough list already.


End file.
